When should your children move out

I know this is going to be a topic that is based on the region of the earth you live in, because here in America the "social norm" is for your child to move out as soon as they turn 18 or finish with college. As in other countries children live with their parents for the rest of their lives due to financial reasons. My questions stand point though, is why in America is it a necessity to kick your child out at the age of 18, sure independence, is something you might be trying to teach your child, but there is many different ways you can go about that. My belief is that if you kick your child out at 18, you're just setting them up for financial hardship. Statistics show anyone lower than the 50% only hold 1.1% of the wealth in america, Why set your child up for failure?

- U.S. wealth distribution in 2017 | Statistic
^ statistic based off of

 

[Ohio Ginger]

Whenever I and my Son feel comfortable moving out really. I grew up in an unstable house hold split parenting on both sides not so stable. My fiance and I just had our newborn 3 weeks ago and My thought process is to do alot of the opposite my parents did. So in theory I've already got a bank account and cash ammount piling away for him hoping to support a creative dream of his in some way shape or form. Wherever that takes us the universe only knows but I want him to be a leader and live by his rules find something he loves and enjoys and make a living off rather then be a cog in the system 9-5 working for a business trying to find his way. Thats all that matters to me

 

[INeedOfCard]

it sounds like the moving out at 18 thing is super stereotypical. It's probably because of my ethnicity and not being your "average white american family" but I don't think it really matters when your children move out.

Moving out at 18 isn't old enough unless you've been working for a while, or have a really good job that you make loads at.

I think kids typically say "when im 18 im going to move out" because they dont like their living situation. If you have a good living situation and good relationships with your parents, you wont be kicked out nor would you want to move out and find something for yourself. The real world is hard and i think it's especially harder for your stereotypical "millennial".

 

Whenever I and my Son feel comfortable moving out really. I grew up in an unstable house hold split parenting on both sides not so stable. My fiance and I just had our newborn 3 weeks ago and My thought process is to do alot of the opposite my parents did. So in theory I've already got a bank account and cash ammount piling away for him hoping to support a creative dream of his in some way shape or form. Wherever that takes us the universe only knows but I want him to be a leader and live by his rules find something he loves and enjoys and make a living off rather then be a cog in the system 9-5 working for a business trying to find his way. Thats all that matters to me

My thought exactly when i decide to have a kid.

it sounds like the moving out at 18 thing is super stereotypical. It's probably because of my ethnicity and not being your "average white american family" but I don't think it really matters when your children move out.

Moving out at 18 isn't old enough unless you've been working for a while, or have a really good job that you make loads at.

I think kids typically say "when im 18 im going to move out" because they dont like their living situation. If you have a good living situation and good relationships with your parents, you wont be kicked out nor would you want to move out and find something for yourself. The real world is hard and i think it's especially harder for your stereotypical "millennial".

I think we are in the same type of boat, My mother left when i was young to pursue a full time career in Meth. Long story short my dad raised us, we were homeless for about 6 years ( this is when i started playing RS at the library ) and everything just started coming together in these last few years. My dad is my inspiration to me, we get along really well, he acts like a friend. Yes there was times when growing up he was authoritative, but it was the moments where he needed to, other than that being authoritative and keeping your relationship with your children at a distance because you are a "in control" of them, i think destroys and distances the relationship in the long run and this is why kids decide to move out. I do hear parents though all the time talk about how they can't wait for their children to be 18 already and be on there own, i think it's quite disgusting, have a child, feed and house for 18years and than say see ya later come back when u have money to put me in a retirement home lol

 

[Joshi]

I know this is going to be a topic that is based on the region of the earth you live in, because here in America the "social norm" is for your child to move out as soon as they turn 18 or finish with college. As in other countries children live with their parents for the rest of their lives due to financial reasons. My questions stand point though, is why in America is it a necessity to kick your child out at the age of 18, sure independence, is something you might be trying to teach your child, but there is many different ways you can go about that. My belief is that if you kick your child out at 18, you're just setting them up for financial hardship. Statistics show anyone lower than the 50% only hold 1.1% of the wealth in america, Why set your child up for failure?

- U.S. wealth distribution in 2017 | Statistic
^ statistic based off of

I would say it is better the child no longer stays a child and grows up while also grows into the shoes of the real world. Setting them up for failure is not letting them live. It is not that they are kicked out but more so allowed to leave and become more independent. It is important to acquire independence for what sense does it make if the kids depend on the parents their whole life and the parents grow old and when it comes time for role reversal the kids can't function on their own nor can they take care of their parents. Sheltered living is not living but rather existing. So the idea of giving them shelter their whole life is just prolonging the inevitable which could have been faced when they were at a age of growing and learning, rather than for when it's too late to learn new skills.

 

A lot of people move out at 18 because they go to University, where they board. Once their course is over, they are 21-25, and by then, i feel they will not be comfortable living at home once again. Huge stigma where i'm from to be living at home past 24 really.

 

[BUILD]

I think it depends on the relationship in your family. If you can hold a good solid respectable bond with your family members that
you're growing up with, there's no reason why maybe you couldn't pay rent and continue to help around the house and have your
own room - or even get a bigger house with them and save money. Really, it's a smart thing to do. The more people you can get
along with living in your family, the more money a financially stable household could save up. It all comes down to who wants what
privacy, who gets along with who, etc.

I plan on living with my parents for a few more years and I'm currently turning 25 this month.

 

I think you're under the impression that most people move out at 18 because their parents tell them to. I'd estimate that the majority of people who move out do it of their own accord. It's a rite of passage to make your own way in the world that most people desire themselves.

Parents who tell their kids to leave at 18 probably have other priorities in mind and are ready for a new chapter in their lives.

In either case, I think it's perfectly acceptable and sensible. Coddling kids forever isn't how you build a productive society.

I moved out at 15 because I had my own path I wanted to pursue that didn't line up with what my parents wanted to do. We're still close and I'm not struggling at all and never really did.

Great responses, I think living at home though shouldn't be a problem unless you're in a relationship. If we take a step back in time and analyze our becoming of our social civilization, families lived and stayed together, this was the norm. Becoming independent can be learned, but i believe there is a lot more to it than just leaving the house, i think the majority of learning how to become independent starts in the early school systems. I guess my question is based more or less if it is an acceptable stigma to live at home past a certain age or not, and why or why should it be frowned upon or accepted. Also how can our culture play a role in accepting an "stigma" like so.

 

[Voyager]

Whenever they feel comfortable. If you raise a child right they won't want to stay at home living off their parents. This can be whenever they can be financially independent. All will depend on the economic situation of both the family an the economy they are in.

 

[Ember]

I was kicked out at 17. Lived on my own since. I'll admit I wasn't prepared at all when it happened and I faced a lot of hardships but I also became significantly more mature and more sustainable with all the things I learned from those hardships.

 

[Ryder]

I say whenever they feel ready to, when they have enough money to be financially stable on their own is when it's time. At the same time, I'd live at home as long as I can because it's free rent.

 

[venomliquid]

It is a different time now. I did move out at 18, but then went back at 20 for a few years with my family as they needed help with their business and realized beforehand how expensive it was to live on your own (apartment plus utilities was $1500 a month) So, it just works better to be around each other all time than in separate homes. We only have each other anyways as we have no other family at all. Plus, I saved a lot of money for my graduate school degree instead of wasting it on an apartment and just be alone there and have way less student loan debt. We also have a super close relationship now, because of living together through adulthood to be like close friends. Now, I have a very good income to be able to afford two homes in two different states. It really is a perspective kind of thing and what you want to do with your life. Those that want to have a family early in their 20s probably would be best to be on your own at 18. For me, it will be in my 30s or 40s before I ever want a family. Right now, it is about my career and the road to success.

 

[Karter99]

I moved out at 17 to study abroad. I think it's actually important that people do leave the house early so they get a better understanding of how things work and how the world actually is. It's a struggle at first but has a bigger reward moving forward.

 

[BobCob]

25

 

[BellyFlopper]

you should let ur children move out when ready, if they arent able to survive it will haunt u forever

 

I think it's important to have separation from home in order to mature and grow. I don't necessarily think being kicked out of the house means complete isolation, or lack of financial help. But having served in the Marine Corps for a few years, and seeing young enlisted change a mentality and maturity simply due to having to be self accountable and independent really made it obvious to me. I don't think there is a set age, but I think when someone is mentally capable and can hack it on their own it's at least worth a shot. Everyone benefits

 

[Abyssal whip]

From my personal experience, I moved out when I was 17 with my brother who was 15 at the time. Lived 200km from home for two years pursuing sport in national team, when all that felt apart this year, we moved back. I'm currently 20 and don't really see the need to move out since I'm still doing sports only in my home city, getting paid and saving the money.
Those two years away did teach a lot and when I've saved enough I will eventually move out but don't see the point to do so at the moment. It really does depend on the situation the parents and the child is in.

 

[Chase7469]

I moved out when I was 16!
I am glad I did when I did

 

I'm 18 living at home. I pay my parents money to live there monthly. I have the funds to move out if I really wanted to I just choose not to as I like being around my family.

 

[Sillymonkey]

Kid should be moving out when they can afford to purchase their own place with little or no debt over their head, to be honest.

Teaching independence is a ridiculous reason for potentially setting your child up for a financially unsecure future. Plenty of cultures focus on helping family and trying to give future generations a better shot at a good life - saying "Lol you're 18, good luck with rent while working some shitty minimum wage job" is not giving them a better shot at a good life.

I moved out when I was 20 and prior to that I was paying standard rent (not some discounted shit). I've gone far since then but it wasn't without trying.