Its always something, isn't it? (wife problem)

[Saint Grimm]

So IDK if anyone whose reading this has read my other posts full of "self-pity" but tonight I really am feeling sorry for myself. I'm not really sure where I should begin but I guess this will have to do...

I have orientation for a job tomorrow but I'm considering not even going. I have to pay child support to stay out of prison, I'm currently in a court case taking a plea bargain for 5 years probation. The charge is a class D felony for not paying child support. Tonight, I don't even care if I get locked up again. No bills, 3 square meals a day and during my previous short stays in jail, I've only met people that I like and got a long with.

Outside of jail, I have no friends. The ones I used to have all fucked me over at one time or another, or they're dead, or they moved out of state. The past few years I've become a complete hermit. I only leave the house to go to the store or accompany family members or go visit my wife's parents. I don't really mind that. I enjoy being alone I just don't like people.

Tonight me and my ol' lady got in a small argument about how we would decorate our house when we got our own place. She wants all girly things, like a hello kitty bathroom, the living room fan with glitter glued all over it, things no man is interested in having. I tried to compromise, I told her I could live with a hello kitty bathroom if she would let me decorate the living room in Old Norse things... Viking style battleaxes and shields hung on the wall, a bust of Odin, etc. She said that stuff would look weird, and I pointed out how a lot of people have crosses and little statues of Jesus in their living room and she pretty much completely trashed my beliefs and said that those things were fine but the things I want would look ugly and trashy.

I got angry at her bashing my religion and heritage and told her I was sick of everything having to be her way all of the time and she started talking about not even wanting to live in this town because all of the women are whores and have kids and stuff. In retaliation I pointed out how she's only 19 and has wanted a kid since we got married and all my friends with kids are older and have had sex with less men than she has so she must be a huge whore.

I hate whores and always have. I've dated women and found out they were whores the hard way. My daughter's mother is a big whore, she didn't even know if my kid was mine until we got a DNA test.

The first time we ever talked about how many people we'd slept with, my ol' lady said she could count them all on 1 hand. Later after we had been together for awhile she claimed to have slept with 10 guys including me. I didn't like it.

I'm a very primal man. The thought of someone else touching what belongs to me, let alone being inside of it drives up a rage and fury, I swear I could honestly kill a man when I think about it. When I was with my daughter's mom and she admitted to not know who the dad was I put the other guy in the hospital and it took 3 people to pull me off him because I wasn't gonna stop until he was dead. I understand that my ol' lady didn't cheat on me, that these guys were before me, but to me its no different. A man has to own his pussy. In my eyes, shes always been mine and with that state of mind, every man shes been with before me is another blow to my heart.

I never told her how I felt because by the time she told me 10 guys I had developed very strong feelings for her and didn't want to let her past ruin our future, but it always ate at me from the inside and every time we were at the store and one of her ex's stopped to say hi to her I had to clinch my fists and close my eyes until he was gone because I knew if I didn't I'd attack him.

Now, after we had this little fight that resulted in me calling her a whore for the first time, she said that she has always wanted to tell me that she lied but she couldn't find the right time and she always felt horrible because everytime she mentions one of her friends who act slutty, I tell her I don't like em cuz I hate all whores. And that she really only slept with 3, including me. Now, I can believe this because out of all the time we've been together and all of the times we've ran into her ex's I've only met 2 of her ex boyfriends and the only ones she has ever mentioned are the 2 that I've met. So I really do believe that its very possible I'm only her 3rd man. She claims she lied and said there were more people because she didn't want me to think she was lame because she knows I've been with somewhat a lot of people myself. But to me its just not the same. A man who is a whore isn't a whore. Women aren't inside of men, men are inside of them. You can wash off your dick but you can't wash off how many people have been inside you.

As we were talking honestly, we discussed a few more things. One of the men she had been with longer than our entire relationship, let alone our short marriage, but I found out that the 2nd guy she had been with WHILE she was still with the first one. That really fucked me up. I don't know if I'll be able to ever look at her the same way again. She did it to another man, one she had been with longer than me, what would stop her from doing the same thing to me?

On top of that she admitted that one of the guys was bigger than me. The one she cheated on her first guy with. Is the only thing thats kept her with me this long me being bigger than her first guy? What if she finds someone bigger like she did with him? I feel like all the love and nurture I've given our relationship has been built on lies.

A lot of women say size doesn't matter, but we all know it really does. I'm not small, but I'm not absolutely huge either. The guy she cheated with, according to her, was what I would consider pornstar huge.

Due to my past relationships with other women I have some really serious trust issues and since we tied the knot I've given her all of my trust, and since she told me all of this, I've had to sit here and think about every little thing she's ever told me trying to figure out if its truth or lie.

When I met her I was in a really bad place and was ready to just end it all. Everyday I look at her and it makes me think its all worth it. She's the only thing that's gave me the strength to keep pushing onward. But after tonight, what if I wake up in the morning and look at her and just want to die more than ever? What if I can't learn to cope with everything I've found out.

At this current time I honestly have no will or motivation to go to my job orientation. I don't care if I go to prison for 5 years or not, at least on the inside I'd have someone to talk to and not have to worry about woman problems. Maybe someone would shank me and make it all a little bit easier for me. I don't even know how to begin to make myself feel better. All the venting and whining in the world can't make this go away. All night, every time I look at her this little voice in my head says "she's had better, your nothing. She lied to you just like the rest." I'm at a breaking point and I've felt like this before and if I don't stop feeling like this I know another nervous breakdown is on its way.

 

[IxI Duality IxI]

Dude she's 19 and is your wife?? How old are you? First person at 19 I heard to get married. Your obviously way too young to be married. Next thing, you seem like a very jealous person by the way you described every detail on her ex-boyfriends. Good luck at the job orientation, those bills aren't going to pay themselves - and they'll be waiting for you if you decide to hang out at jail. Not trying to come at your neck, but just offering my honest advice.

 

[Saint Grimm]

God you're pathetic, I have nothing else to say but you say woman can be whores but men can't? Sure men go inside of women but who fucking cares? If I was your wife/girlfriend I would of dumped you right then and there for calling me a whore, not to mention that's so sexiest. What if a woman has been in multiple relationships because guys have used her? Or a girl has been raped multiple times? Does that make her a whore because guys have been inside of her? God.. Reading this is what makes me angry, you think you're mr innocent and you ARE looking for sympathy. "I don't care if I go to jail" to be honest maybe you belong there with the type of attitude you have right now. You expect a woman you date to be a virgin? Your wife is 19 I highly doubt you'd find a virgin 19 year old unless she was saving herself for the person she was already with, get those stupid ideas out of your head, you're ridiculous.

I do understand with the house decorating though, one person can't just decorate the WHOLE house, you really need to sit down and think about your attitude towards all this, I use to believe once a cheater always a cheater but that's not the case people DO change. Don't let the pain and distrust of one person change your mind about another otherwise you'll never learn to love/trust again.

Ur post does not give advice on my situation and I think it might break the special rules for this section. and just a logic test, if a girl who slept with 2 guys is called a whore by a girl who was then claiming to sleep with 10 is the one who slept with 10 not a whore? You should think before you post a reply to sum1 asking for help not insult them and act like uou know what your saying when you dont.

ive heard women say theyve changed. If you want me to not seem so sexist have girls quit taking on as many dicks as yhey can handle. You havnt walked in my shoes you havnt been thru the same things i have, when every girl is exactly the same as the last you start seeing them all as the same. Women say all men r the same but i think they got that backwards. All women lie, steal and at some point will most likely cheat. The ones I've been with that didn't cheat, I only imagine didn't do so because I caught them in so many lies or stealing from me and kicked em to the curb before they had the chance. After almost 8 years of dating, treating women like princesses, breaking my back to make them smile and in return, being stolen from, lied to and cheated on gives me enough of a reason to think the way I do. But I really don't need to justify myself to you. After all your calling someone asking for help pathetic for learning from their mistakes. But I will justify you for the hell of it - I never said women who were used or raped were whores. I never even hinted that I thought that. Because I fucking don't. Don't come here where I need legitimate advice and put words in my fucking mouth. When she claimed to have slept with 10 different guys, she claimed to do so willingly. For a short time in my life I slept with a different girl every week. The head of my crew would throw parties, we'd get coked out and he'd tell some random 30 year old woman to take me in the back and show me a good time, and she did it willingly... with a 15 year old kid I might add (thats how old I was when this was going on). Again, you judged long before you knew the full story. When your part of a small drug running crew and your boss says "hey I got something for you, follow her and do what she says" you don't say "no I don't think I will tonight." You shut the fuck up and do as your told. Thats why the women did it, thats why I did it. Women that I hooked up with on my own, I've been with 6. Atleast 5 of them were using me for sex and drugs. So if a woman can't be labeled a whore if she is used by a man, I guess I'm not a whore either and have only slept openly with 1 person other than my wife my entire life.


I would suggest before insulting more people that just need a little bit of advice you re-read the rules:

Hi guys. There have been far too many cynical/mocking posts made within this forum. I'd like to remind you all that this forum is for people to post their most intimate, personal problems in hope of acquiring genuine advice and assistance, not childish mockery.

I will PERMANENTLY BAN OR FORUM BAN anyone from this forum if you post inconsiderately, stupidly, or mockingly. This serves as your warning.

Offer thoughtful, helpful advice to the members of the community who may, for whatever reason, be suffering. If you do not wish to offer such advice, don't post at all.

I personally would have really liked thoughtful, helpful advice, which you did not provide. All your post did was make me feel more worthless and like shit than I did before I posted. In the mental state I'm in, I couldn't even stomach reading the entire fuckin' thing because all you did was talk down to me.

Dude she's 19 and is your wife?? How old are you? First person at 19 I heard to get married. Your obviously way too young to be married. Next thing, you seem like a very jealous person by the way you described every detail on her ex-boyfriends. Good luck at the job orientation, those bills aren't going to pay themselves - and they'll be waiting for you if you decide to hang out at jail. Not trying to come at your neck, but just offering my honest advice.

I'm 21 next month. I've seen people around here get married the day after high school graduation. You must not be from missouri if you've NEVER heard of anyone 19 and married. Thanks for the offer of good luck. The part about bills are right, but I mean whats the point, I'm not happy out here, I might be happier in there. I'm not "overly" jealous. I just know what belongs to me and shes the same way, "I belong to her, the ring on my finger is the property tag and everyone else can back off me".

 

[Saint Grimm]

Because are you not reading what you're typing? You're being so disrespectful towards women and personally I'm offended. I don't think sleeping with 10 guys makes a girl a whore, people do stupid things at a young age, you can't blame that on them. I'm trying to be supportive but I can't see how I'm supposed to be supportive to someone who isn't the right attitude to accept proper criticism.
Not EVERY girl is the same either.. I don't drink, I don't take drugs, I'm 17 and I'm still a virgin because I'm waiting for the right guy. Man, the best advice I can give you is snap out of that attitude because it will get you no where, look what you're saying "I don't care if I go to jail."

Sorry If I sounded harsh, but you're pretty much degrading women/girls just because there's been a few bad eggs in your life.

She said my friend was a whore, my friend had slept with 2 guys. If she slept with 2 guys and is a whore, would that not make someone who slept with 10 guys a bigger whore? Your still not even paying attention. If you had slept with 10 guys and called a girl who had slept with 2 a whore, how could you possibly not be a whore yourself?

Maybe you don't understand how my relationship with this girl works. I'm not asking on advice of how to look at my wife, theres no changing the damage thats been done. I'm asking how to cope with it and your giving no advice at all, your still just yapping on about bullshit.

Your a virgin, so imagine a woman who had slept with a lot of men called you a whore, would you not think "shes the fuckin' whore!"?

For starters, this is the first girl I've met that isn't just like all the rest. Thats why I put a ring on her finger. But now I'm finding out shes been lying about shit our entire relationship, where have I seen that before? oh yeah, with every single girl I've ever dated! If every single girl I've ever met does the same thing to me, over and over and over and over what am I supposed to think? That every girl is different but just does the same shit to me? I'm sick and tired of doing good things for women, treating them with high respect and in return just getting fucked over. And if women want to be equal... well you know what, just go look at the thread I posted in about that and you'll see its women who chose not be equals.

But I'm getting off here. I don't think I can sleep in the same bed tonight so I need to go get pillows and a blanket. It's already after 3am so I doubt I'll go to orientation. And again, I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm looking for advice. If I think I would be happier in prison, then why shouldn't I go?

I clearly stated the only people I have actually enjoyed being around as of lately, were the people I met in jail at the first of the month. Prison can't be much different.

 

[Saint Grimm]

I'm not saying that SOME women aren't whores, but it sounds like you think ALL the women who have slept with 10 guys are whores, maybe they've been in a lot of relationships thinking the guy was the "one"
I'm not yapping on about anything, I'm telling you to change your attitude because if you keep being grumpy like you are right now you'll never be able to "cope" with it. I've read pretty much all your posts/threads ranging from this one to the one where you wanted to skip a job interview to do stuff with your friends, I may be wrong but you just give off all the wrong vibes.

I did give you advice in the first post, all I can say is if you want to cope with it, change your attitude because until then you're going to be stuck with the same problem, time after time.

I never said that. I said I called her a whore because she called someone a whore who had slept with alot less people. I'm sure there are women who aren;t whores and I'm sure plenty of them have slept with more than 10 guys. But not a single woman I've ever had in my life isn't either a liar, a cheat or a whore. Hell, I'm married to a liar now. With my friends? That was with my family. I don't have friends. My family who was ALSO my only ride to the interview was going out of town. If I would have stayed I would have no food to eat, no ride to the interview and be all alone. Who the fuck would stay for an interview they wouldn't even be able to get to?

I'm not always grumpy. I'm manic depressive. I get in states that I can't control. I have a mental disorder and no money/insurance to get medication for it. So far, in this thread, all I've gotten from you are vibes that your attacking me and not trying to help me, which is what this entire section is for (helping, NOT attacking) so please, find your way off my thread unless you are going to give some useful advice I don't have to read through an entire paragraph of insults to find.

You'll notice I'm not in an argument with the 2nd person that posted, and if you read through his post, he was averagely polite and gave advice, not calling me names and putting me further down than I already am. According to the rules of this section, if you were offended and unable to reply politely and helpfully, you should not have replied at all.


Maybe you should practice what you preach:

I've stopped using Sythe now because of stuff like this, sure normal users can insult me but now an admin?

I try and do a lot for sythe, I've tried to make it a more active community in both the market/runescape general/off topic general/support section but no one sees that, I've learnt to ignore these threads and I can now see why Elena left because it's just constant attacking, if anything I've been nice to everyone on this forum, I've tried to do a lot but when you have people like yourself and others just constantly putting you down it makes you think why bother to help the community? If you're going to constantly insult members of the community who are looking to do nothing but help, then fine go ahead.

 

[Gav_Rsgp]

I'm a very primal man. The thought of someone else touching what belongs to me,

you say she belongs to you. it makes me sad that she is with you

 

[Saint Grimm]

I'm a very primal man. The thought of someone else touching what belongs to me,

you say she belongs to you. it makes me sad that she is with you

She says I belong to her too. Its how we work I'm her property and shes mine... You know what. Fuck this. thread closed. Sythe doesnt have any helpful people left in it anymore. Only 1 person was even trying to offer advice or be helpful, and he/she was more worried about why I was married at my age than actually helping me out.

I've said it before but this is probably the last time I'll give enough of a shit about this website to say it again.

This website has gone to shit. The forum for people to get advice for the legit problems in their life, is full of people mocking and trying to cause the people needing help to feel worse. I wouldn't be surprised if in suicide threads theres posts saying "do it!" The sales are full of scammers, more so than ever, and the people in general that use this site these days do nothing but attack one another. When I think about how much different the site was just 1 year ago, it makes me feel sorry for sythe and all the work he's put into this website. I won't stop using the site, but it'll most likely be strictly for business.

 

She cheated on the first guy she was with, but I'm assuming she wasn't married to him? She's chosen to marry you, and her "you're mine" attitude/jealousy just confirms to me she's serious about you and being with you. I've had trust issues with girlfriends, with them being close to other guys and what not, but from what I've seen you post before, and the hardships you're going through.. if she wasn't interested in you she wouldn't still be with you now. You're obviously worth staying with in her eyes. Jail will only make you worse, and make life afterwards exactly like the situation you're in now except it'll be harder to find a job. Stick it out man, you'll get there in the end.

I'll disregard the whole whore thing, it wasn't nice to say but I can understand why you said it. Not to call her a whore, but to call her out on calling someone else a whore.

Arguing over décor is very common, I wouldn't lose sleep over the argument. Sit down and have a chat, I'm sure you can come to some sort of happy medium compromise.

You can add my Skype if you need to vent to anyone. Good luck with everything man.

 

[Feelgewd]

i'm sorry to say but the way you treat woman, makes me sick.

i would advice you to speak with roary about this.

 

[dangelo]

I suggest seeing a shrink. I am being 100% honest. It can only make things better.

Your outlook on life seems to be slightly skewed due to everything you seem to have gone through. Talking to someone who will not judge you and attempt to help you is the only way forward. Posting on a public forum like Sythe is not the greatest idea.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127
http://www.uncommonforum.com/

I would suggest posting what you have just told us on those forums and hopefully a specialist or someone who has been through the same experience can help you.

I wish you the best of luck in your hunt for help and I hope in the coming weeks we can see a positive outlook from you.

Good luck!

 

[Saint Grimm]

She cheated on the first guy she was with, but I'm assuming she wasn't married to him? She's chosen to marry you, and her "you're mine" attitude/jealousy just confirms to me she's serious about you and being with you. I've had trust issues with girlfriends, with them being close to other guys and what not, but from what I've seen you post before, and the hardships you're going through.. if she wasn't interested in you she wouldn't still be with you now. You're obviously worth staying with in her eyes. Jail will only make you worse, and make life afterwards exactly like the situation you're in now except it'll be harder to find a job. Stick it out man, you'll get there in the end.

I'll disregard the whole whore thing, it wasn't nice to say but I can understand why you said it. Not to call her a whore, but to call her out on calling someone else a whore.

Arguing over décor is very common, I wouldn't lose sleep over the argument. Sit down and have a chat, I'm sure you can come to some sort of happy medium compromise.

You can add my Skype if you need to vent to anyone. Good luck with everything man.

Thank you. This really did make me feel a lot better, I'm not sure you or anyone else can even understand how much your few words brightened up my day. I appreciate it a lot more than you may realize as well. I'm glad to find sythe has at least some good people left in it that will at least attempt to make someone feel better when they feel down, but today I just got a whole new batch of problems, but even so your post made even todays problems a little bit better. Again, thank you.

I suggest seeing a shrink. I am being 100% honest. It can only make things better.

Your outlook on life seems to be slightly skewed due to everything you seem to have gone through. Talking to someone who will not judge you and attempt to help you is the only way forward. Posting on a public forum like Sythe is not the greatest idea.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127
http://www.uncommonforum.com/

I would suggest posting what you have just told us on those forums and hopefully a specialist or someone who has been through the same experience can help you.

I wish you the best of luck in your hunt for help and I hope in the coming weeks we can see a positive outlook from you.

Good luck!

Thank you as well. Its odd just how far a little bit of "niceness" can go with a person like me. It really does change my entire day around. I'll visit those forums someday soon, but as I said to roary, I have a new batch of bullshit I need to deal with first that's a little bit higher on my list as of right now.

 

[Gav_Rsgp]

Why are we Not good people? Because we don't like they way you treat women ?

Tbh if you typed your problem less like an idiot I would of done all I could to help you. But you seem extremely jealous and stupid. Your views on women should belong back in the 1920's.

I also saw the job interview thingy, tbh you say you couldn't make it to the interview because your family had to o out of town. If you did get the job how would you get there everyday ?

You seem the lazy type who blames his problems on other people and expects people to feel sorry for them.

I don't dislike you in anyway, and I m not trying to be mean in the reply but I have known people who remind me of you and have had very bad experiences with them.

 

[Saint Grimm]

Why are we Not good people? Because we don't like they way you treat women ?

Tbh if you typed your problem less like an idiot I would of done all I could to help you. But you seem extremely jealous and stupid. Your views on women should belong back in the 1920's.

I also saw the job interview thingy, tbh you say you couldn't make it to the interview because your family had to o out of town. If you did get the job how would you get there everyday ?

You seem the lazy type who blames his problems on other people and expects people to feel sorry for them.

I don't dislike you in anyway, and I m not trying to be mean in the reply but I have known people who remind me of you and have had very bad experiences with them.

Because the rules of this section is if you aren't posting something helpful and just starting shit, don't post at all. I seem lazy because I've been in a bad situation where I can't get to work because I live far away from anything? You don't know me, you aren't trying to help with my problem so get the fuck off the thread. This is personal support section, not "mock and accuse" section.

 

[dangelo]

Why are we Not good people? Because we don't like they way you treat women ?

Tbh if you typed your problem less like an idiot I would of done all I could to help you. But you seem extremely jealous and stupid. Your views on women should belong back in the 1920's.

I also saw the job interview thingy, tbh you say you couldn't make it to the interview because your family had to o out of town. If you did get the job how would you get there everyday ?

You seem the lazy type who blames his problems on other people and expects people to feel sorry for them.

I don't dislike you in anyway, and I m not trying to be mean in the reply but I have known people who remind me of you and have had very bad experiences with them.

This forum is about helping other people, not insulting them. I am sure as a child you were taught, "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

OT: Grim mate, everyone goes through really bad times. I doubt I can be of assistance but your more than welcome to drop me a message if you need any advice. I have not personally used those forums but a friend of mine did while battling with depression. I am more than happy to be the "go-between" per-say.

 

[Saint Grimm]

Gods forbid any of these people had to walk a mile in my shoes. Most of them who seem to think its just so easy would probably end up slitting their wrists discovering first hand how rough the things I'm going through really are.

But again, thank you dangelo. Right now I just really need to figure out what to do about my grandparents and my job.