How do you deal with Greedy Friends?

I think we all have that one friend or maybe even friends who are let's just say: greedy. It's the person who forinstance never pays for drinks when going out. Everybody gives a round of drinks and this one guy never gives a round but still profits when other people buy a round of drinks.

Me myself I am always quite generous in my opinion. Whenever a friend comes over, I always ask them to stay for dinner (on my costs). Whenever we are in the city and I need a drink or something to eat I ll get some for the person I am with aswell (I am not rich at all if that's what you think ).

Some people are the same as me with stuff like that, but I also got a couple of friends who aren't like that. Whenever you go bowling or go to the movies they are always the ones who don't have money with them or forget to pay you back later.

So my question how should I deal with these kinds of situation? I gently tell them that they maybe should change that kind of behaviour. Or atleast share the costs you make together etc. But still they seem to not get the message. The worst part, one of my best friends is like this while he obviously has enough money to split things fair, he just doesn't.



Note: Feel free to share similiar stories.

 

I'm not sure if you should break contact immediately. Maybe they don't realise it themselves, even when it is that obvious. Maybe you're faster with paying for them, maybe you mainly offer to get some food/drinks instead of themselves. I've never been in such situation, but if my advice would really be keep on making jokes with a bit of truth in it such as "Hear that guys, treats us free drinks!". There's not much you can do actually, breaking contact/friendship because of money issues seems very lame to me.

 

If I were you I'd just wait for the right moment and have a little 1 on 1 conversation with them, tell them it annoys you and they should change something about it. Just come to an agreement that either everyone pays for themselves or 1 guy pays for everyone else (on turn). If he's your best friend he will deffinetly understand

 

I guess talking to them should be the best thing but it seems so hard to start the subject

 

Definitely bring it up. I have had a few friends of mine act like this in the past, and it just so happened that they were just in the wrong place at the right time when things happened, and would always forget to pay people back.

If you bring it up, and they deny it or they claim that they do, in fact pay for things try providing a few examples. I think it's best to have a talk like this face-to-face so they don't think that you're angrier than you actually are, plus they will have to own up to their actions instead of having time to come up with excuses.

 

[Deathsnova]

Cut them from your life. Look at my signature, i'm not joking. If you want to live a happier life you have to literally CUT out all toxic people. That mean's stop seeing them all together. Unfriend them on facebook, unfollow them on instagram. Don't talk to them or see them at all.

I knew one kid who was this stingy greedy cunt who always thought with either his 1) Dick or his 2) stomach, putting himself first in every single situation. He's still friends with my friends, but i told my friends I can't hang out with them anymore if he's going to be there too. I wasn't putting my friends in a 'choose me or him' position, I just told them the truth. And they havn't made a choice, even though they agree with everything Im saying, they don't really have that many other friends so it'd be harder for them to make that decision. Since I decided I was 100% done with that kid, I havn't seen him face to face in over 8 months. I used to see him every day of the year because he went overseas on a gap year with us. Sometimes they hang out with him, sometimes they hang out with me. It's almost been a year since we've all hung out together, and I feel so much better not having to deal with that shit in my life anymore.

Cut those stingy, greedy, 'I put myself first' people out of your life OP, in the long run you'll be so much happier.

Edit: I just sort of when off on a little rant without reading your post, OP.
Your situation sounds like you still like the guy, you just hate that he's so niggardly.

"If you my homie you aint ever gotta pay me"

Yeah tough situation. It's hard to send hints without coming across as highschool (like making jokes about how cheap he is, ect) and I also know people like that hardly ever change their ways overnight. I've surrounded myself with people who like me for me and dont care about spending money on me because they know I got them back. But the person from my original tangent, its always a 'thing' with them. Walking into a restaurant "hey can i pay you back" or he's spent his money on something stupid and wont have enough for food, and you know how shit it is having to chase up a friend for money.

Anyway OP if he's one of your bestfriends I guess the only thing you can do is either drop them so they get the message or sit down and talk to them about it.

 

[tehRonskie]

Some people just don't realize it themselves. I've been there too, maybe ask them why are they like this and that they should change it.

 

Thanks for the help guys

 

[DRSX]

We all have friends like this, I generally ignore it. If he's broke and can't afford to buy a tray of drinks (70-80 bucks here) I can understand that. Whenever I go drinking with my buddies I don't care if they're greedy to a certain extent, I'm just there to have fun, in the end it is just money, you'll always get more money but might not get friends.

 

We all have friends like this, I generally ignore it. If he's broke and can't afford to buy a tray of drinks (70-80 bucks here) I can understand that. Whenever I go drinking with my buddies I don't care if they're greedy to a certain extent, I'm just there to have fun, in the end it is just money, you'll always get more money but might not get friends.

I don't mind paying, I just hate people who intentional profit of my generosity

 

[DRSX]

I don't mind paying, I just hate people who intentional profit of my generosity

That's just how it goes:/ I am too polite to say no, it's like buying christmas presents for your family and you decide not to buy anything for your dad, it would just be too rude imo. In my book it's just money and you'll always get more money so just have a great night and don't worry about who is getting what for free

 

[JayJ]

If somebody owes you something or it is their turn to pay, bring it up. Example.. You go to the bar, and you pay for a round, next time you are about to go make sure you let them know it is their turn. If they can't pay for it then do not buy them any more.

Some people are more generous than others. I am personally 50/50. I like to pay for my own shit and my own shit alone, but if somebody pays for something, I will always make sure I re-pay. It is just standard procedure right?

Do not be afraid to remind people if it is their turn or they are being a 'tight son of a bitch' especially if they are you friends. If they get offended then they surely cannot be a close friend. If it is someone you just met, they are cheeky f*ckers (lol)

 

[Monoxide]

I myself am in a difficult situation to, I struggle to say no when friends ask to borrow money and end up lending out £100's to some of my un-employed friends and they're too greedy to pay back! Always easiest to be open with them and tell them how you feel.

 

[JayJ]

I myself am in a difficult situation to, I struggle to say no when friends ask to borrow money and end up lending out £100's to some of my un-employed friends and they're too greedy to pay back! Always easiest to be open with them and tell them how you feel.

I'm the same in a lot of situations. Or atleast I was.. I tell most of them now 'I simply don't lend money out' or 'I owe somebody something so I can't lend it you'. Just tell a lie if you don't feel comfortable with the truth.

I only lend to people I know i'll get it back off, without having to chase it. Money makes people fall out. It's a fact.

 

[Shall Skill]

get venmo and make him pay you right there on the spot haha, none of that ill pay you back later bullshit when you can pay with your phone

 

[JayJ]

One of the worst things you can do in any friendship is loan money. Quick route to it ending.

Yeah. I know, that's what I was inferring.

 

[JayJ]

Yeah. I know, I was backing up your point. Reinforcement.

gotcha

 

[IxI Duality IxI]

If you want to live a happier life you have to literally CUT out all toxic people.

I really like this sentence, and the signature is simple yet very powerful.

OP, not sure how you are around your friends, but I am generally more playful and jokingly around my friends, you could possibly be the same. I simply jokingly ask, "What are you too cheap for XYZ?" saying with a smile, then say your just messing with them. Or a funny one, if you plan on getting food ask "Yeah you tryin to buy me some food?" asking with cheerful attitude, then after they respond then say "Just messin I got money for my food." and you could add "Do you got money?" at the end of that.

Hopefully you can find a resolution that fits you best, If you can't - best bet is to calmly talk to them about their stinginess, lol.

 

[JayJ]

I really like this sentence, and the signature is simple yet very powerful.

OP, not sure how you are around your friends, but I am generally more playful and jokingly around my friends, you could possibly be the same. I simply jokingly ask, "What are you too cheap for XYZ?" saying with a smile, then say your just messing with them. Or a funny one, if you plan on getting food ask "Yeah you tryin to buy me some food?" asking with cheerful attitude, then after they respond then say "Just messin I got money for my food." and you could add "Do you got money?" at the end of that.

Hopefully you can find a resolution that fits you best, If you can't - best bet is to calmly talk to them about their stinginess, lol.

People are different with their friends. This is how I am. Sometimes you have to be firm with people though, close friends or not. Sometimes people bite off more than they can chew, especially when it comes to borrowing money. They borrow it with the right intentions of paying back, and when they realise they cannot pay back as easy, that's when problems occur.

 

[kmjt]

Personally I would never pay for a friend's drink, meal, or anything. But then again I wouldn't accept free stuff from friends either. You can't be mad at your friend if you impose stuff on him; if you just randomly buy him stuff expecting him to return the favour, thats your fault. Everyone should just pay for their own stuff and you wouldn't have situations like this. Its really. Just stop paying for his stuff and see where that takes you. If he makes a fuss about it you can tell him about how he never pays for your stuff.