no-friends anxiety.

[2332]

excruciating anxiety of having no friends for life... I feel like I'm going to completely break down and end up on a mental institute.. i'll go there soon if I don't make any REAL friends. *sigh* .. i've rarely felt this shitty.
I've even had one panic attack about this, I can't deal with this.
I'm autistic (sorry, i am.) add, depressed, and I stay away from crowds. I also am really awkward around groups, you know. Don't know what to say.
don't know what to do, I don't drink, don't smoke and won't go do that to make friends, there must be someone as weird as me out there... but right now, I'm comepletely alone, nobody in my town likes me and yeh.. I'm sick of this, I can't see myself spending years alone... I feel like it's worthless, waste of time. I always get reminded also seeing pictures of parties, (nerd parties even.) groups of friends.. or even couples, it all reminds me of how lonely and don't have a SINGLE true friend in a world of 7 BILLION people. 20.000 in my town but just... can't find anyone here and can't afford to really move.

 

[IRL Customer]

I'm the same way. I can talk to people all day, but in the end I just go home alone. I like the quiet and loneliness for now though. Go around town doing some of your favorite hobbies, and start chatting with people. In general people will respond and be nice to you, so don't shy away from it, and if they are douches just walk away. Plenty of nice people out there for you to meet

 

[2332]

I'm the same way. I can talk to people all day, but in the end I just go home alone. I like the quiet and loneliness for now though. Go around town doing some of your favorite hobbies, and start chatting with people. In general people will respond and be nice to you, so don't shy away from it, and if they are douches just walk away. Plenty of nice people out there for you to meet

Thank you, I'm glad someone understands and yeah, I try my best with that just always same in the end, i just chat and then they kinda just disappear.

 

I used to struggle with a very similar situation. I'm an awkward person, not good at making or initiating conversation, and there were years where I would go out and literally do maybe 2-3 things all year outside with a group of friends. I wasn't very social. If you want my best advice, force yourself to do something new. Ever interested in bowling? Visit a practice or league in a local area. What about mountain biking? Maybe you have a love for minecraft but are too afraid to show it? Someone I knew made a minecraft club in my high school (sounds silly right?). But after the first year, they had over 60 active members, and a lot of them were socially awkward people that were able to make a network of friends that they usually gamed with. It was great. The point is, try and do something that you may be interested in, and simply talk with the people you encounter to learn more about what it is you're trying. You don't have to try and discuss politics, or the best latest movies, so it isn't tough. Maybe you don't understand something about positioning and you're trying out a LARP class. Ask a neighbor, or someone who looks experienced. Just enjoy life, and make experiences

 

[Sejoyo]

Change is always occurring. Don't take situations, especially like this, for granted. Thinking permanent thoughts over something temporary is pointless, just do your best to be optimistic or at least have optimistic outlooks and it will change. Having a positive mindset has at least helped me.

Now with having trouble meeting people:

I know you probably hear this often, but when you say you "don't know what to say nor do" it's a similar disadvantage (that's what I like to call it) as mine called 'overthinking.' I deal with this mainly due to my Attention Deficit Disorder, and I have to really concentrate to not change my mind or second guess myself, in another way of saying it, from what I first think. I just don't second guess myself as often anymore and it feels great.

That's just the only thing I can think of that helped me back when I wasn't the best neither. Now I can even talk in public like doing speeches without any problems.

But with all of this put aside, you're more than welcome to be friends with me. I know I don't live near you, but it's not distance that matters. Sometimes just having someone to talk to can ease anxiety (Which I believe I have as well)

Just be you and don't worry about what others think, and I bet you you'll make some friends. By friends, I mean ones near you.

 

[deadmou5e]

go to places that interest you and where it would attract people that have the same interests as you. for example i use to go to yu-gi-oh tournaments and met many people there that i became friends with. your not the only one with your problems, however it can be better if you try. it will take time. goodluck man

 

[ASAPgang]

These thoughts of lonliness and emptiness are all traits of anxiety or depression. Man I've been in the same boat before and tell myself these things - but realistically it just isn't true. Family are friends, we are friends. The best advice you will receive is to go out and do things that make you happy - take a proactive step and join a local sporting club. This might allow for you to reach for new friends and will keep you active.

 

[Vusn]

I don't drink, don't smoke and won't go do that to make friends, there must be someone as weird as me out there

Unfortunately, drinking is probably one of the best way to meet new friends for somebody that lacks social skills--everybody is relaxed and socially interactive with lack of judgement. When I was 18-21, I met a majority of my close friends in some sort of social situation that involved drinking.

 

[Carbon]

Used to have the same problem honestly. I tend do not like a lot of people I know in real life, so I tend to keep a small circle. Although I've realized that all of my (true) friends are the one's that I've met while gaming. Just because you've never met them in real life doesn't mean that they aren't you're friend.

 

[xxrain]

Used to have the same problem honestly. I tend do not like a lot of people I know in real life, so I tend to keep a small circle. Although I've realized that all of my (true) friends are the one's that I've met while gaming. Just because you've never met them in real life doesn't mean that they aren't you're friend.

I second this. Most of my close friends are people I've met while gaming as well. There are a few that I've talked to everyday for over 7 years now. You don't have to feel alone in this.

 

[deadmou5e]

I second this. Most of my close friends are people I've met while gaming as well. There are a few that I've talked to everyday for over 7 years now. You don't have to feel alone in this.

I also agree, i've made friends online that i feel are my great friends. one i've actually met up in real life, and we go to raves all the time. we are 3h apart

 

[fragan77]

Its probably you feel this way because theres only 20k in your town. Have you tried moving out and moving into a bigger city?

 

I'm sure everyone has worries of the same type at some stage in their life, so you aren't alone here in the literal sense - obviously though yours are exacerbated by certain characteristics you have.

What I'd say is.. although you don't like crowds, that you should seek out a group of like-minded people. I recall you like cars? Perhaps a car group or even a car forum online based wherever you live? Talking to people online before you meet up for coffee/food or whatever can be a good way to get comfortable before you meet.

The first couple of people are the hardest/make you the most nervous.. but once you know a couple of people and they introduce you to more and you meet more together.. before you know it you have a network.

 

[ASAPgang]

I'm sure everyone has worries of the same type at some stage in their life, so you aren't alone here in the literal sense - obviously though yours are exacerbated by certain characteristics you have.

What I'd say is.. although you don't like crowds, that you should seek out a group of like-minded people. I recall you like cars? Perhaps a car group or even a car forum online based wherever you live? Talking to people online before you meet up for coffee/food or whatever can be a good way to get comfortable before you meet.

The first couple of people are the hardest/make you the most nervous.. but once you know a couple of people and they introduce you to more and you meet more together.. before you know it you have a network.

Roary has given some sound advice here. Having this characteristics can be a real burden on everything, it can be draining to say the least. The situation you are describing does sound really sad. Is it really that you don't have any friends whatsoever?

Do you still attend high school? I've found that go find something that interests you and as aforementioned by Roary, join that club or hang around. Maybe someone here on Sythe is from the same location as you are? The internet is always a cool place to meet new and exciting, like-minded people so never be too shy to reach out to someone who you know is within your area.

If you truly find that not a lot of people will accept you for who you are in your town, maybe take a short drive out to the next town over to join a sports club? Let me know how you're doing, bud, would love to see what's going on!

 

[Edgemaster]

Dont mean to sound edgy, but go make some friends and get a few hookups for reefer. Go smoke a few bowls and your anxiety will be gone. Just stop thinking about your anxiety and just be confident. It's not that hard man, and I extend my support to you because I had the same problems.

 

[Distort]

find some people in public places man

 

[rekface]

It sounds to me you may be highly introverted in nature. I'm highly introverted and have struggled with friendships my entire life. I've always found myself more interested in observing and analyzing people than actually forming relationships with them. It isn't that I don't care about them but I just never had an interest in following social norms as everyone else does. This makes me standoffish and a bit weird to others. Over the years, I'm 23 now, I've began to wonder if my lack of closeness with people is really my own decision rather than a result of my personality. I believe you may want to ask yourself that question as well. If you are happy in your own company, then there is no shame in being a loner. Remember, there are millions of people out there just like you and at the end of the day you are very special and have so much to offer the world. This goes for anyone reading, if you ever need someone to talk to about these things or just want someone to ponder life's questions with, I am always down to do that! I've lived my entire life in a philosophical mindset and can enlighten you on any number of subjects that may interest you. Much love from SC, take care my friend and live life to the fullest!

 

[Saint Grimm]

Make online friends. If you have a facebook, look for groups of similar people... There's all kinds of groups SPECIFICALLY for people with anxiety or depression, and the groups are created as a place for those people to freely express themselves without fear of being seen as awkward or strange. A good friend of mine with Aspergers created a group called 'The Angry Aspie Place'. The group no longer exists as it kind of died out after a few years - But perhaps you could try creating your own group and just inviting some random FB friends at first, then expand slowly or look for similar groups.

I personally haven't had any in-person friends for going on 2 years now... The people I hungout with since I was 13 all slowly moved out of state, went out of state for college, etc etc. And I instead of finding new friends, I just talk to all the old ones on Facebook or skype, or I've found new people on the net to chat with. It might not seem as fulfilling as in-person friends, but hey, it's still someone to talk to!