For my Mom

[W77]

You may skip this part and scroll down for the main point if you wish.
To make a long story short, my Mom and I used to get along terribly. There was screaming and shoving and unmeant threats all the time. When I was 17 (don't remember the exact date, but it was early this year), I moved out. I'm 18 now and graduated, and I don't plan on going back.

However, some months after I moved out and we had time to cool down, I started going over there for dinner 1-2x/week, and our relationship is much better now. She, however, still has all of the same emotional issues that she used to have. She gets angry very easy, is depressed a lot (used to be suicidal, I'm not sure about now), and generally feels that no one cares about her. Nothing anyone can say or do can change this.

Main Point
I would like to do/make something for her to show that I care about her a lot. I want it to be something that would take a lot of my time and effort. I'd like to keep it as cheap as possible, and I definitely can't afford to go over a couple hundred right now.
The first idea I had was to build something elaborate out of wood, but the only tools I have where I'm at is a skill saw and a drill, so that's pretty much out of the question.

Do you guys have any ideas? I'm mainly looking for one big thing, but if you have ideas for random smaller things I could do onto of it, that would be great too. (I can get many hours of alone time in her house, if that helps.)

Thanks guys!

 

[funbox]

save some money and go abroad together? would be a new experience and able for you both to communicate.

if you make something out of wood.. eh...
as nice as it can be what will end up is it being in some living room and be forgotten..

 

I'm thinking a photo album of the time spent between you would be a good idea. Old people love reminiscing and this would be perfect for it. The mission for this bit would be covertly obtaining all the necessary photos. I don't really think you could make the photo album itself out of wood or anything since it may turn out a bit tacky but you should be able to purchase a decent looking one for relatively cheap.

If you don't feel this is enough you could accompany it with something else though I am not sure what. Just go for what your mother likes, for example her favorite perfurme/chocolate etc

 

save some money and go abroad together? would be a new experience and able for you both to communicate.

if you make something out of wood.. eh...
as nice as it can be what will end up is it being in some living room and be forgotten..

Can't buy love with money. He clearly said he didn't want to spend much money.

I'm thinking a photo album of the time spent between you would be a good idea. Old people love reminiscing and this would be perfect for it.

Photo album would be a great idea! I was looking at some photos the other day of 'Then and Now' Basically the idea was replicating photos of when you where younger, to now. I'm not too sure if you have brothers and sisters but perhaps they would enjoy the idea too. Here are some example of what I mean:

 

[Lean]

I'd say make her some thing that you know she would use, or some thing along the lines of a photo album as said above, if you have pictures of you guys from all the good moments, family holidays ect. I'm sure whatever you decide on she will be happy, it shows that you care enough about her to take the time to make her some thing special.


even taking her to dinner or cooking her dinner one night, since you said she invites you over for dinner 1 - 2 times a week, i'm sure she would appreciate that.

 

[W77]

save some money and go abroad together? would be a new experience and able for you both to communicate.

if you make something out of wood.. eh...
as nice as it can be what will end up is it being in some living room and be forgotten..

I like the idea, and it's definitely something I would love to do given the chance, but right now that's a no go. In the financial spot that I'm in, it would be a couple of years until I had enough to do that. And then she definitely wouldn't take the time off of work to do that, because she would be losing out on that money.

I'm thinking a photo album of the time spent between you would be a good idea. Old people love reminiscing and this would be perfect for it. The mission for this bit would be covertly obtaining all the necessary photos. I don't really think you could make the photo album itself out of wood or anything since it may turn out a bit tacky but you should be able to purchase a decent looking one for relatively cheap.

If you don't feel this is enough you could accompany it with something else though I am not sure what. Just go for what your mother likes, for example her favorite perfurme/chocolate etc

I do like this idea, and I think I'll end up stealing this for the next Mother's Day or Valentine's Day. What I'm looking for right now, however, is something very large scale. When I mentioned making something out of wood, I was thinking of cutting down my own lumber (assuming I could find the right trees) and building something like a new dining-room table. Something that would be large, worth a lot of money, have taken a lot of hard work and time, and be customized so that she knows I'm always thinking about her, or something like that. With the point of depression that she's at (she has been on medication for it for a long time), I feel that I need something BIG to start bringing her out of it. (If other family members would stop being self centered this would definitely help her too, but I can only rely on myself.)

Photo album would be a great idea! I was looking at some photos the other day of 'Then and Now' Basically the idea was replicating photos of when you where younger, to now. I'm not too sure if you have brothers and sisters but perhaps they would enjoy the idea too.

I've seen other families do this online and I thought it was quite neat. Unfortunately, we don't have all that many pictures, and the ones we do have are all ones that were taken on vacation.
I have two brother's though (who were both already moved out when I was born), and they both have plenty of photos this could work with. Maybe I'll be able to talk them into doing this, because I'm sure she would like it.

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Thanks for all of the suggestions so far guys! Keep them coming

 

[W77]

I'd say make her some thing that you know she would use, or some thing along the lines of a photo album as said above, if you have pictures of you guys from all the good moments, family holidays ect. I'm sure whatever you decide on she will be happy, it shows that you care enough about her to take the time to make her some thing special.


even taking her to dinner or cooking her dinner one night, since you said she invites you over for dinner 1 - 2 times a week, i'm sure she would appreciate that.

I do like that idea. She is pretty handy and constantly doing things, so I'm sure if I put my mind to it I'll think of some things that she could use.

And I do like the idea of taking her out. I'm planning on doing this for her birthday (in December), but I'm not sure if I'll be able to before that. (Mainly because of budget. I get paid a little over $500/mo right now working 16hrs/2days per week, and $210 goes straight into insurance. (I was in a bad accident last year, so my rates are asinine.) After that I've got gas (~100 miles/week just for work), and food, any rent I can afford to give, etc. Any spare money I have seems to come from eBay.

 

Honestly I'd go for the photo album, it will take some time putting it together, but it's a very thoughtful gift.
You have access to her house, so you could perhaps help her out with some chores or something (don't know if that's weird, because you don't live there) but it will help her, then when she questions it, give her the photo album.

 

Honestly I'd go for the photo album, it will take some time putting it together, but it's a very thoughtful gift.
You have access to her house, so you could perhaps help her out with some chores or something (don't know if that's weird, because you don't live there) but it will help her, then when she questions it, give her the photo album.

Yeah I agree. OP, while you may consider a table to be a better and bigger gift (it is physically bigger), the memories and reminders of the good times in photos will likely be more of a help to your mother than a table would be and I think she would enjoy it more. That being said, since a photo album would be easier to compile than making a table by hand, you could accompany it with something like what leanbean said - something she would use frequently.

 

[Weaboo]

A photo frame would be nice, and it's cheap too. Like, it won't cost you that much to buy a nice photo frame. Print out some pictures of you and her, and that will make her happy.