"Talking" to Jose will do nothing, since he really doesn't care what you have to say. He's going after your girl, and the most senseless thing to do would be to try and reason with him. If he shoved you before he told you to back off, you know he's the fighting type. He had to have thought about whether to shove you or not, and he was down to fight you if that's what the result came to be.
I wouldn't care for either one of them.
If you give Jose shit, your X will not appreciate it, because she cares about this Jose guy. The best thing is to let her alone, so she thinks about what she did to you. Apologizing to her and sucking up to her like these other people are saying will get you no where. You do not want to feel bad for what SHE did to YOU. She will realize it eventually what her loss was, once you are with someone who makes you happy and will not do the same shit to you.
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