Reporting Abuse

[Scottay]

I'm curious to hear some of your opinions on reporting child abuse.


(HYPOTHETICAL!)
I know a friend who said his dad hits him, however how am I supposed to know how extreme abuse he is getting.

Personally If I knew more about his situation I still wouldn't know how to handle it. Unless of course he is beating him to a point of permanent injury.

I think I want to just tell someone authoritative so badly but I think of some cons. He will resent me forever for making his dad leave, tear up his family life, probably make things awkward with siblings and mother, making his dad hate him for the rest of his life. (note these are obviously not perfect situations of what may happen, just things which I for see happening)

The pros I see is that the kid will feel less scared sometimes, or if it is very extreme obviously he is not receiving injuries anymore. However I just can't seem to outweigh the cons with pros.

If the child has learned to deal with it and it does not bother him should it still be reported?

When does child abuse get to the point where it should be reported? Or should it be reported in all cases?

Is it more good or bad for the child in the abusive relationship if the situation is reported?

So... Thoughts?

 

[{N}ick]

If it is severe physical abuse I think it should be reported.

 

[Scottay]

If it is severe physical abuse I think it should be reported.

What if it is not serious and the report could tear up the family?

(not disagreeing just starting conversation)

 

[CrackerJack59]

Well what happens if you report him and he takes it out on your friend. If i were you, i would just tell someone you know can do something about it, rather than getting involved or confronting his father, if you were thinking of confronting him.

 

[Scottay]

Well what happens if you report him and he takes it out on your friend. If i were you, i would just tell someone you know can do something about it, rather than getting involved or confronting his father, if you were thinking of confronting him.

Guess I should of made it more clear, I meant to make it a hypothetical scenario.

Personally I wouldnt confront the father, but tell like police or something.

 

[cotonpk3r]

In my opinion it's on the parents.
no1 should ever tell a parent how to raise their children, they are their children not yours.
I was beat as a child when I did things that were wrong.. and it made me learn not to do it again.

I think people these days are so worried about babying kids that they are leading to the downfall of our society.. kids need to be toughened to be able to deal with problems life is going to throw at them. Once you grow up there's nobody to stop people from abusing you but yourself.

 

[Scottay]

In my opinion it's on the parents.
no1 should ever tell a parent how to raise their children, they are their children not yours.
I was beat as a child when I did things that were wrong.. and it made me learn not to do it again.

I think people these days are so worried about babying kids that they are leading to the downfall of our society.. kids need to be toughened to be able to deal with problems life is going to throw at them. Once you grow up there's nobody to stop people from abusing you but yourself.

Valid argument, so are you saying for people that are being abused they are better off standing up to their parents or just taking it rather then reporting it?

Because by the comment

Once you grow up there's nobody to stop people from abusing you but yourself.

You could argue that people being abused are standing up for themselves by telling someone to prevent it, basically like: See what will happen, dont fuck with me.

I also don't really understand the context of

kids need to be toughened to be able to deal with problems life is going to throw at them. Once you grow up there's nobody to stop people from abusing you but yourself.

because if you are encouraging people just take the beating rather than telling someone then they are not standing up for anyone and when they grow up, like you said they won't be able to "stop people from abusing them but yourself" because they never dealt with the abuse before and just let it happen.

 

[tamachan]

If the child has gotten used to it, You shouldn't report his father. That might cause more drama for the poor child and might possibly tear up the family.

Any form of child abuse should be reported but at times, it is really difficult as most kids would say "I love my parents, they abuse me but I still love them, please do not take them away". Even though they're under pressure and pain, As a friend, You have to be there for him or her because their parents are still their parents.

It's more towards the bad side to be honest, This might escalate to something worse and cause a whole load of family problems in the future.

Especially if it's the father who's doing all these, When he's gone, who's gonna feed the family? what happens to his wife? Will she think that her own son / daughter is crazy or realize that his husband is a crazy child abuser?

A lot of things comes into consideration, many different scenarios.
Best way to avoid it all, endure it for a couple of years more.

 

[LOLOYOMO]

I happen to be a part of your "hypothetical." I do have a CYS (Children and Youth Services) caseworker coming out to the house all the time. My dad's quite the abusive bastard towards my family and myself.

In my honest opinion, I believe that it SHOULD be reported no matter how severe or un-severe. It's just wrong to hit a child. What defense does that child have? And what is violence doing/solving for you? 1. Violence doesn't solve anything. And 2. All you're doing is scaring the child to the point where he/she fears immediate physical retailiation from anyone or anything.

If you REALLY wanna discuss it, PM me. I'll tell you about Hell. -.-

 

[hoxile]

Talk to your friend, it's his choice at the end of the day. Tell someone and he could hate you.

 

[Cleavage]

If it is at the stage it is seriously harming, drawing blood then yes it should be reported. But me and my dad were "play" fighting as soon as i turned 5 where i would be punching him and we would be giving eachother dead arms. If someone was to walk in and see him punch me and not have the full story they could think he was going to procede to rape me?

 

[Coinshare]

Has your friend ever thought about telling someone without your help?
Meaning, does he think about talking to someone about his father on his own?

When I was little I'd get spanked when I misbehaved or did stuff I wasn't supposed to, I don't consider that child abuse, it's more of a disciplinary way but I know others would take that as child abuse.

If your friend has scars/bruises I think you should help him.

 

[aus aaz]

I was hit when I messed up as a kid, you learn and you learn quick lol.

If the beatings are random and severe well everyone knows it's wrong but if you tell the authority's his going to end up in a home or foster care and either become a stripper or a theif depending on the sex of the kid.

Is it so really your helping them temporarily but in long term not helping at all.

 

[Carcinomati]

Personally, I would report serious child abuse to the authorities.

 

[Pakistani]

It depends how serious it really is.

However, I did report one of my neighbors last year when she threw a trowel at her sons head.

It happened in front of me and he had quite a deep cut on his head. She told the doctors that he had fallen down the stairs and hit his head on the radiator. He's my friend and he was way to scared to report her.

I did ask him before I reported her.