Official Jokes Thread

I Looooooooooooooooooove ur pic hardxcore!!!!!!!

 

Its awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

 

what black and white and red all around?


a zebra in a blender

 

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the beach Animal Protection tried to push her back to the water.

 

Another your mommas jokes about the beach

Your mommas so fat when she went to the beach the whales started singing "We Are family" XD

 

THIS ISNT MINE I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS:
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died.

First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place I looked was out on the balcony.

I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he yelled, but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer, and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors screaming in agony. But the fall didn't kill the asshole. He landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went back into the bedroom and shot myself."

St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then, telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.

Second man: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily, I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second stroke of luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and crushing me."

St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man.

Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a refrigerator..."

 

Why did the penis touch a penis?
Because they were gay.

^^Best joke ever.

 

yo mommas like a vacuum cleaner, sucks REAL good then gets laid in the closet

 

theese r original yo mamma jokes, by me

yo mamma so stupid, she went upto a cop and said "Help i got stabbed in a shoot out!"

yo mamma so dumb, she bought a book bag, but returned it becuz there wasnt books in it.

yo mamma so dumb, she returned the puzzle because she thought it was broke

yo mamma so fat, she sat on wall mart/ and lowered the prices

yo mamma so poor, she lives in a cardboard box, and her adress is Fragile.

Oh forgot to mention, the door is this side up ->


EDIT: forgot some jokes -.- cant believe it


yo mamma so dumb she bought a glass door with a peep hole ( the hole u look out to see who on other side

NOW FOR THE BIG ONE:

theres a blonde, a brunnete and a red hed, all stranded on an island with one item.

the brunnete has sun block becuz she worries about her skin

the red hed brings bottled water to see if she can stay alive the longest.

the blonde brings...a car door.

the two girls ask, why did you do that?

the blonde said " to roll the window down when it gets too hot XD

 

your mom is soooo fat.............. id say she jumped up in the air and got stuck,,,,, but she cant even jump!

 

wtf spam more dude..

 

lol just kidding

 

lol so i just post yo momma jokes here?

 

l0l there are soem funny joeks here

 

keep them coming!!!

 

You where the load your mother should of left running down her leg...
thats a joke?

 

YOUR MOMMAS LIKE A HARDWARE STORE 50cents A SCREW

 

That el loco guy. Now that boys and girls, is a joke.

 

and one of fmy personal favourites ...

knock knock?
whos there?
banana.
banana who?
BANANASPLIT!!!!!!!!

ROFL

nahr i just laugh at it kuz it aint funny .. lmao? does anyone else laugh at jokes that are so not funny?

 

blonde joke -
2 blondes where driving to disneyland, they went pass a sign saying 'disneyland left' so they went home =]