Need some advice on things

[Unregistered1551]

Hey Sythe I'm 16 years old and I've never had a girlfriend. I get to nervous talking to girls and I start mumbling, can't think, and get sweaty. Also it's hard for me to talk to friends or anyone. I start mumbling or don't know what to say. I've never texted a girl and I barely text people now. I play runescape for most of the day. I'm skinny and always wanted to have some muscle but I took weightlifting class and didn't even bench, I played basketball instead. I'm nowhere near the handsome kind of guy. Also when I'm nervous I can't walk straight and for some reason when I walk through school I feel like people are judging me and I get nervous and start walking weirdly. 2 of my friends are moving to different states this year and I don't have anyone else as a good friend. My mom is taking me to a theropist next week but tbh I don't think that will help. I've tried to get in to basketball but I'm too nervous to even try out. I'm decent but no where near as good as others. I live in the middle of nowhere and I have to play on gravel so it's annoying enough to even play. No neighbors to do anything with. I have 0 motivation for school, never cared for it.

What I'm trying to get at is life really sucks for me and honestly I just want friends that are there for me and a girlfriend. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm wasting my life playing Runescape and I don't even want to play but there's nothing else to do. My mom has asked if I wanted to move schools but I feel like it isn't even necessary. I hope I'm not sounding like a brat but to me it seems like my life is terrible compared to most at my school.

 

Therapy will help a bit if you apply yourself, I'm glad your mum is helping you with your situation.

Regarding girls; so many guys get nervous because they treat girls as potential girlfriends rather than just another friend. Honestly, gender is irrelevant to start. Just make friends and if there's chemistry it'll happen from there but you'll be friends so it'll be comfortable and unforced.

Everyone struggles with insecurity, and we all have our internal anxieties. If you want to get bigger just youtube bodyweight workouts and start off just doing it at home with the minimal cost of a pull up bar and maybe some small weights. Then when you're looking better and feeling better go to a gym somewhere.

 

[Carbon]

You should try out for the basketball team if you like basketball that much, it will be a great confidence booster considering if you make the team, that will be your group of friends that you will hangout with. As for girls, confidence is the thing that is going to get you a girlfriend. I recently graduated High School and realized that I missed every chance with girls I didn't talk to because I never cared to man-up. You'll learn that you're going to regret not doing something more rather than regret doing something. ALSO: I'm not sure if you're a junior, but go to prom and homecoming, very fun things to attend to, you don't have to dance, there's tables where you can sit with your friends that you'll make along the way.

 

[Laptop65]

You playing RuneScape all day isn't doing you any good at all. YOu may feel it's fun and a way to pass the time but you're really just destroying your social skills even more. You're not talking to any other human face to face, you can start improving your life by cutting down on your gaming time drastically.

As for girls... well, they're just the opposite sex man. It's perfectly normal for people your age to be nervous around girls, really nothing to be worried about.

 

[honeyview]

avoidance personality disorder.

one thing that is important for you to understand is you HAVE TO cater towards your survival instincts. even if you wanna stay in your comfort zone playing runescape in your apartment that requires a job and you paying rent.

Having a job requires social interaction unless you wanna be factory worker or trucker. you have to play the game. everyone in this world is a phony and your problem is your completely honest.

as far as your survival goes you don't have any goal. everyone else already knows what makes them happy and they're chasing after it every day while you're running around in circles(literally in reference to RS).

The best thing you can do is figure out exactly what makes you happy and do whatever it takes to get there. the biggest mistake you can make is sitting around playing rs for the next 5-10years and then realizing you cheated yourself out of happiness.

another quote I like is you need to be an asshole or it creates a asshole vacuum and someone else will take your spot of being the asshole.

 

[strong ilan]

Just talk to girls normally. I struggled to talk to girls then realised that they are just normal people (Took me a bit longer than some people cause I go to a boys school). Also limit ur RS playing only play for 1hr a day max. Then go outside with friends.

 

[Ricola]

you just gotta be yourself and just talk, i used to get nervous too and honestly, you just need to grow a pair, maybe practice at it, if you just do it, itll be easier and youll thank yourself after cause you got it over with, it just takes time, you just need to work at it, its all in your head, its better then wondering what if

 

[Unregistered758758757587]

As stated above, possibly some therapy? Therapy doesn't work for everybody though, personally my self therapy didn't help at all for my issues, only made them worse.

If therapy doesn't work you could always try and get medicine, it sounds like you have a bit of social anxiety and possibly might be depressed.

and don't think of not having a girl friend as a bad thing, not everyone has had a girl friend by the age of 16.

Good advice from Mootrucks here, But I'd suggest avoiding the pill popping to make it through the day, speak to a therapist, try and get CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) BEFORE you go down the line of medication. Medication just numbs you down and you wont feel any real emotions and depression/anxiety medication can have long term side effects on your brain. really not pleasant. Remember you're only 16, you've your whole life ahead of you dude, you've probably heard that before but it is true.