COLORSARELOL
Newcomer
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2010
- Sythe Gold
- 0
- Messages
- 2
Well I'v been thinking if I should post anything here or not since this got opened.. like the very second and thought I would sit back and wait, been reading over some of the other posts and thought, shit my problems aren't anywhere near what other people have :|
So I thought I would create an account just to post this
so you all don't know who I am >_>
Anyways..
I'm currently 18, my mum died when I was 3 from a drug OD, and closest family member to me, witch was my uncle died just under a year ago in a car crash. I have prostate cancer. Only people to know this is the doctor I saw about it, and myself. I'm not going to be telling anyone as well. My dad as always worked hard, he owns his own company witch I work for, and has never really been around for me, he would pay people to look after me and drop and pick me up from school etc. I was fat all my life and a nerd, Had my first kiss when I was 16.. saw myself as a joke.. so at 15, I tired to kill myself. But my aunt who we were looking after at the time happened to walk in on me cutting myself and rushed me to the hospital. I couldn't even kill myself.. so after that, I never left me room. Got an eating disorder and lost all my weight so was finally not fat atleast. When I got back to school all my "friends" (witch never really were my friends, they just made fun of me) started ignoring me, so I had no friends, I started just rapidly adding random people on myspace, and then sending them lame excuses on why I added them, like "oh I thought you were someone else, but hey, whats up" until I found a girl that went to a school close to me, started talking and she was dating a guy from my school, so I started hanging out with them, they happened to be drugo's though, cool group of people just really drug fucked. After hanging out with them within 2 weeks I was doing weed. not just a little, I mean going to the bathroom in class just to get high.. was lucky I never got caught because even people in the class could smell it. 2 months into this, I get myself expelled for breaking into another school while on exam block. All my other mates left because they were about to get caught for selling drugs at school. So I moved to another school for 3 months, not going to go into detail with that, because nothing really happened there, same old shit. but while I was there, one of those random people I added started talking to me again, now she only lives like 30 mins from me and wanted to meet up, so I went, Thats when I started to drink, a shit load.. she would invite me to parties and I would get wasted (this is where I got my first kiss, with some drunk chick who was willing to fuck anything with a heart beat) I mean im not a bad looking person, when im not fat that is
was just hard for me cos I was so shy. Then I meet a friend of hers, (witch is my girlfriend right now) and we started going out, she had just broken up with a guy and was upset, and I just helped her out. Now I love her to death.. but shes made me give up so much, Atleast I stopped drinking and stopped doing drugs, but she made me give up games, the only place where I could be myself and escape from everything... she made me delete my facebook and myspace, I lost all contact to my (good) friends.. and now have nothing but her, I can't let her go, cos im scared I wont be able to find anyone else, not that I would want to right now, because I Still want to be with her atm
(need to edit, at work now)
So I thought I would create an account just to post this
Anyways..
I'm currently 18, my mum died when I was 3 from a drug OD, and closest family member to me, witch was my uncle died just under a year ago in a car crash. I have prostate cancer. Only people to know this is the doctor I saw about it, and myself. I'm not going to be telling anyone as well. My dad as always worked hard, he owns his own company witch I work for, and has never really been around for me, he would pay people to look after me and drop and pick me up from school etc. I was fat all my life and a nerd, Had my first kiss when I was 16.. saw myself as a joke.. so at 15, I tired to kill myself. But my aunt who we were looking after at the time happened to walk in on me cutting myself and rushed me to the hospital. I couldn't even kill myself.. so after that, I never left me room. Got an eating disorder and lost all my weight so was finally not fat atleast. When I got back to school all my "friends" (witch never really were my friends, they just made fun of me) started ignoring me, so I had no friends, I started just rapidly adding random people on myspace, and then sending them lame excuses on why I added them, like "oh I thought you were someone else, but hey, whats up" until I found a girl that went to a school close to me, started talking and she was dating a guy from my school, so I started hanging out with them, they happened to be drugo's though, cool group of people just really drug fucked. After hanging out with them within 2 weeks I was doing weed. not just a little, I mean going to the bathroom in class just to get high.. was lucky I never got caught because even people in the class could smell it. 2 months into this, I get myself expelled for breaking into another school while on exam block. All my other mates left because they were about to get caught for selling drugs at school. So I moved to another school for 3 months, not going to go into detail with that, because nothing really happened there, same old shit. but while I was there, one of those random people I added started talking to me again, now she only lives like 30 mins from me and wanted to meet up, so I went, Thats when I started to drink, a shit load.. she would invite me to parties and I would get wasted (this is where I got my first kiss, with some drunk chick who was willing to fuck anything with a heart beat) I mean im not a bad looking person, when im not fat that is
(need to edit, at work now)














