Dude I can't even tell you how much I'm feeling for you at the moment.
I don't know if you have (hopefully) gotten better in the past few hours but man, I hope you do. I know life is a bitch and shit is rough, but it will ALWAYS get better. I was right there where you are, just 2 years ago, and hell I'm still there in some ways. I know exactly what it's like coming to a new school, I was at a school for 5 years then thrown into private school and it was COMPLETELY different. I didn't know anybody, my life style was different, but I adapted. Do what is comfortable, you may need to put on an act (it is natural for kids in middle school and high school to lie and fake things to fit in with the rest of society, it's just human nature)
As for your looks, dude don't tell yourself that. First off, your young so looks can change as you grow and develop. You might be short but you are young, like I said, and you could grow 3 inches in the next 2 months. I have a friend who was always the short kid and we always messed with him about it, now he's 6'4" and we all make jokes about when he was short. Trust me, height is not an issue
Back to your looks, I'm not going to say "looks don't matter" because people say that all of the time and we all know it's not true. However, that doesn't mean you should let it bring you down dog! I used to have a SHITLOAD, I mean a TON, of Acne, now I've been on medicine and it is almost all gone. My hair used to be a tangled mess and now I found a hair style that I don't have to put much work into and looks great. Just find out what works for you and fix it up. If your physical looks themselves are bad, meaning your just ugly by nature, then don't even fret it man! Like I used to be mad at myself because my ears are big and my nose is weird looking but now I just said "Fuck it, why let this bother me? I can't change it so why bother being upset?" You can apply that to a lot of things, but I don't suggest you do for too many things or you will begin to care about nothing.
About your friend... Man, I'm sorry. I've lost too many friends to too many different things and the best solution is to just not think about it. I'm not going to ask how you lost your friend, I'm just simply going to leave it at I'm sorry and you WILL find a new friend. Correction, friends. You will make them, and they will support you. Hell, I already feel kind of like your friend, I want to be one for you.
If you have problems with eating or sleeping, tell somebody. Tell anybody that you know in real life, your teacher, your parents, I mean even tell like a janitor or something. If you only feel comfortable talking to somebody you know, find another kid in your grade who needs help, then help each other. If you are having problems sleeping, you can see a doctor and they will prescribe medication. You can get meds for your eating as well, and even depression medication.
If your getting cyber bullied, well just know that anybody who tries to put you down is most likely a loser or is going through issues themselves. If you have a problem on here, tell a Mod and they will shut the kid up. If all else fails, talk to me, I'll tell the guy to get the fuck out of here.
As to life losing meaning... I know it's easy to think that, that was what I was feeling a couple years ago. Especially because at the time I was having waves of Religious confusion and I had problems believing there really was a God. I'm not going to talk about myself nor am I going to preach about it, but there is more to life than a Heaven and God, that is for sure (THIS IS NOT MEANT TO START ANY RELIGIOUS ARGUMENTS).
It WILL get better. I have to go right now, but here is my email/MSN:
[email protected]
Email me, message me, do whatever you can to get help. If you don't want to talk to me that's fine too, I just want you to know that I'm here to talk to if you want, as well as pretty much everybody on this thread.
You will get help. Things WILL get better, I believe in you. Life goes on, and it gets better. There will be rough spots but you will make it through.
Good luck man, much love. You aren't alone
