- Joined
- Jan 24, 2018
- Sythe Gold
- 200
- Messages
- 146
- Age
- 35
Had so many ambitions when I was a few years younger like I was going to conquer the world...
wanted to become a top contender in bodybuilding wanted to get big shredded, wanted a comfortable life style, was so motivated and on top of everything and now its just like nothing... i am scared I am never going to acomplsih the things I wanted too and get so overwhelmed and aniexty kicks in and I just freak out and feel like I am going to die without doing it all...
I am so lazy procrastinate to the fullest look for excuses and I just cant stick to it I really am starting to get so angry and let it out on my girlfriend at times for my stupid shit.
I hate myself because of this... keep in mind so much stress IRL like more then a 23 year old adult should ever deal with in his life...
what should I do guys ... didnt know where else to post something like this,.
Also have a muscle morphia disorder or whatever where I get soooo damn stressed about my body and so depressed about it feeling like its never good enough for me and pump more and more drugs into my body and fucking myself up... even tho every person in the gym looks at me compliments me so much and all my friends say im huge and i get looks everywhere but its like never enough.... cant come to terms with it.
Went from 150 to 240 in the past years of lifting 2011 november to now...
wanted to become a top contender in bodybuilding wanted to get big shredded, wanted a comfortable life style, was so motivated and on top of everything and now its just like nothing... i am scared I am never going to acomplsih the things I wanted too and get so overwhelmed and aniexty kicks in and I just freak out and feel like I am going to die without doing it all...
I am so lazy procrastinate to the fullest look for excuses and I just cant stick to it I really am starting to get so angry and let it out on my girlfriend at times for my stupid shit.
I hate myself because of this... keep in mind so much stress IRL like more then a 23 year old adult should ever deal with in his life...
what should I do guys ... didnt know where else to post something like this,.
Also have a muscle morphia disorder or whatever where I get soooo damn stressed about my body and so depressed about it feeling like its never good enough for me and pump more and more drugs into my body and fucking myself up... even tho every person in the gym looks at me compliments me so much and all my friends say im huge and i get looks everywhere but its like never enough.... cant come to terms with it.
Went from 150 to 240 in the past years of lifting 2011 november to now...
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