Dont know what to do

[DRSX]

So, me and my girlfriend were together for almost a year, she ended it just today as she had a crush on someone that she met on Runescape (believe it or not)-

My story started when I flew last year to Canada and I met her in a park and we hit off great and been flying back and forth since then. We had a great relationship, the same hobbies and just enjoyed being together, however recently I flew home to see my family just two weeks ago and she's throwing away something we worked so hard for something that will most likely not work for her as I know this new guy is not a canadian citizen and I doubt a lot of guys would be willing to put in the effort & money as I do to fly there and stay there. I personally think she's making a huge mistake her, even her mother agreed to that and said she'd try talking to her.

I myself am from Europe and our relationship was great until today where she just texted me when I woke up for work, I was actually planning on going back there today. She texted me " I think we should break up I have a crush on somebody I met on Runescape". It killed me as I look back on all our memories and how she could turn something she has to nothing, she also acted like it was no big but her mother said she was crying on the phone while talking her, I decided I am gonna surprise her with something cool and see if she changes her mind or not which I don't think will happen.

Either way her family and her has been great towards me in the past year A++.

I just don't know what to do as my life was planned around being there now I'm back in a place where I will have to work my ass off for the rest of my life to even pay off a house which makes me very stressed as I know I wont be able to enjoy life, please don't tell me to move to another country as I have tried that and it's very difficult. What bugs me the most is when I spoke to her she acted like this was nothing to her lol.

Do you guys think I should give her a chance again? I love her for her looks, personality and she's very honest which I also like.

She's treating me like shit which I have done too in the past to her nothing as bad as this though.

I guess I'm kinda hoping she would realize she made a mistake and no harm done.

 

[Fishy D]

Talk to her, explain how you feel and how you feel about her and her decisions.

If you cannot explain to her what she is doing wrong then let her see for herself. It's better a person experiences mistakes rather than being told it's a mistake, they will feel it more and in the near future try and prevent it from happening again.

 

Nope it's over, cut all contact with her she doesn't deserve your time

 

[aerios]

Does she understand that having a crush on someone during a relationship happens quite frequently, but doesn't necessarily mean that the current relationship won't work? I don't know but the only other thing I can think of is that maybe she feels guilty for you needing to make trips to her all the time?

Either way, be honest with her and tell her where you're coming from. If she's adamant about leaving you, she's really not worth it and you should just completely walk away. She's not worth your time. I mean, if you're taking your time, resources, and energy to come visit her and she wants to leave you, that's pretty silly.

 

[Ricola]

dude, she texted you, breaking up with you, for a guy over runescape....FUCK HER, youre a good guy, dont waste your time, i know you want to go back because she was your girlfriend but shes on to another dude, dont stay hung up, move on, this is the smartest thing to do

 

[PorchMonkey]

If you sincerely love her, not just have lust for her. You'd respect her decision regardless of how you feel about it. Now by no means am I saying drop her and don't even make an attempt to make things right with her. I'm saying if that doesn't work and she really wants to end it then respect her decision. If she loves you she will eventually realize her decision was wrong and she made a huge mistake, by then you could be over and done with her and I'm not saying take her back on her time unless you'd like to, because that would be mistreating yourself.

 

[Superfluous]

Having recently gone through a breakup, I'm going to say two things.
1 - If you want to try to continue pursuing her, feel free, but realize that her mind is likely elsewhere. I wouldn't be surprised if her relationship with the other rs player has been going on for a while, and it's just now getting serious enough that you have to be cut out of the loop (sorry for the harshness :s). That said, other people seem to be able to repair relationships a lot more successfully than I've been able to, so don't count it out yet. How old are you guys? This seems like a fairly young-person way for her to be treating you in this situation...
2 - But more importantly, there are other fish in the sea. There's no doubt that breakups suck and that people harbor feelings for exes for a long time. However, there is always a future for both of you. Maybe she wants to go for this rs player, and that's fine; now you know that she's ultimately not the girl for you. But you've taken things out of the relationship, both good and bad, that you can apply to other endeavors until you meet someone who's even better than she can ever be. You have your whole life ahead of you, and getting bogged down by attaching yourself who doesn't reciprocate your affection simply isn't worth the hassle, in my opinion at least.

Best of luck to you op. Keep us posted if you like.

 

[DRSX]

Having recently gone through a breakup, I'm going to say two things.
1 - If you want to try to continue pursuing her, feel free, but realize that her mind is likely elsewhere. I wouldn't be surprised if her relationship with the other rs player has been going on for a while, and it's just now getting serious enough that you have to be cut out of the loop (sorry for the harshness :s). That said, other people seem to be able to repair relationships a lot more successfully than I've been able to, so don't count it out yet. How old are you guys? This seems like a fairly young-person way for her to be treating you in this situation...
2 - But more importantly, there are other fish in the sea. There's no doubt that breakups suck and that people harbor feelings for exes for a long time. However, there is always a future for both of you. Maybe she wants to go for this rs player, and that's fine; now you know that she's ultimately not the girl for you. But you've taken things out of the relationship, both good and bad, that you can apply to other endeavors until you meet someone who's even better than she can ever be. You have your whole life ahead of you, and getting bogged down by attaching yourself who doesn't reciprocate your affection simply isn't worth the hassle, in my opinion at least.

Best of luck to you op. Keep us posted if you like.

I'm 21 she 19

 

[Dom]

I had something all typed out but I had a change of heart midway when writing it.

I think you deserve an answer. I think you deserve closure. The biggest problem is that you guys live so far away. Long distance relationships almost never work because lets face it, she'll get bored and lonely without you there. Girls are more like that than guys, where guys will tough it out. It's just something that happens to girls. My best friend had his girlfriend of 4 1/2 years do the same thing. He was out working in the oil rigs in saskatchewan, about a 4 hour flight away. He worked 30 days on (every day for 30 days) and 10 off. Somewhere in that time that he was out there, she started talking to this guy at our university. Then she started hanging out with him, behind our backs. I was always there to keep her company in case she got lonely, something I told him I would do. Eventually he got a similar text when he woke up one morning. Not even a "can we talk when you get back" text or even waiting until he got back to say anything. Talking to my friend who had called me at 4 am in the morning wasn't a pleasant thing because he was really shaken up by this. Seemingly out of nowhere. Needless to say they settled their differences over the next couple of months. He's now with a girl who he has been with for 9 months, and they live in camp with each other!

The moral of that story, find closure and forget about her. It's hard, I know. You spent so much of your time making it work, but if she's willing to throw away everything you two worked for over something so stupid like a guy she met over AN ONLINE GAME... Chances are she's willing to do something like that in the future.

If she ever crawls back saying how stupid she was and how sorry she is, don't accept it. Just move on.

 

[DRSX]

I had something all typed out but I had a change of heart midway when writing it.

I think you deserve an answer. I think you deserve closure. The biggest problem is that you guys live so far away. Long distance relationships almost never work because lets face it, she'll get bored and lonely without you there. Girls are more like that than guys, where guys will tough it out. It's just something that happens to girls. My best friend had his girlfriend of 4 1/2 years do the same thing. He was out working in the oil rigs in saskatchewan, about a 4 hour flight away. He worked 30 days on (every day for 30 days) and 10 off. Somewhere in that time that he was out there, she started talking to this guy at our university. Then she started hanging out with him, behind our backs. I was always there to keep her company in case she got lonely, something I told him I would do. Eventually he got a similar text when he woke up one morning. Not even a "can we talk when you get back" text or even waiting until he got back to say anything. Talking to my friend who had called me at 4 am in the morning wasn't a pleasant thing because he was really shaken up by this. Seemingly out of nowhere. Needless to say they settled their differences over the next couple of months. He's now with a girl who he has been with for 9 months, and they live in camp with each other!

The moral of that story, find closure and forget about her. It's hard, I know. You spent so much of your time making it work, but if she's willing to throw away everything you two worked for over something so stupid like a guy she met over AN ONLINE GAME... Chances are she's willing to do something like that in the future.

If she ever crawls back saying how stupid she was and how sorry she is, don't accept it. Just move on.

Ive been gone for longer in the past and it worked fine but this just caught me as it took her so little time from everything being good to shit, I love how she said we argue too much just randomly when we don't I think shes just trying to find excuses, kinda pathetic tbh

 

[Ricola]

Ive been gone for longer in the past and it worked fine but this just caught me as it took her so little time from everything being good to shit, I love how she said we argue too much just randomly when we don't I think shes just trying to find excuses, kinda pathetic tbh

well shes not worth your time, she will probably realize she fucked up, i would opt out just because shes talking to another dude, its red flags

 

[DRSX]

well shes not worth your time, she will probably realize she fucked up, i would opt out just because shes talking to another dude, its red flags

I dont mind her talking to another guy because I know they wont do anything sexual since they will probably never meet up however it shouldnt be in a relationship so she really has to figure out what she wants.

 

[Ricola]

I dont mind her talking to another guy because I know they wont do anything sexual since they will probably never meet up however it shouldnt be in a relationship so she really has to figure out what she wants.

you arent getting it, it doesnt mattter if they dont do anything, its the fact thats shes even thinking about it

 

[DRSX]

you arent getting it, it doesnt mattter if they dont do anything, its the fact thats shes even thinking about it

Yup you got a point right there thats for sure

 

[DRSX]

i know the best idea would be give up and move on but its very hard after we went through, ive never felt this connected to a person before i guess thats what makes it that much harder, she was like my best friend for the past year and now its like my best friend passed away or something just not there anymore.

 

I'd talk to her in person to know what's really going down. If you have been going out for a year, I doubt she's gonna end a strong relationship like that over some kid on Runescape. If she doesn't bother explaining, or gives you the same kind of bullshit, just end it. Not even worth it

 

[DRSX]

I'd talk to her in person to know what's really going down. If you have been going out for a year, I doubt she's gonna end a strong relationship like that over some kid on Runescape. If she doesn't bother explaining, or gives you the same kind of bullshit, just end it. Not even worth it

it is tricky to talk to it about her as she ends the conversation before it even started if i try to discuss it like adults, and yes we were just 40 days shy of a year. She was honest with me and told me she met a kid on runescape and got a crush on him lol. She did actually give me some bullshit when i think about it.

1: she said we don't communicate, i was working 12 hours a day and i went to bed when she woke up because of her sleep that was so fked up

2: she say we argue too much, when you think about we really don't argue too often and we've only had O N E serious argument in this past year.

I did notice her getting uninterested since she couldn't take two minutes off Runescape to answer my texts anymore so that's where i knew something was up, and now she says she just doesn't "feel it" I just don't understand how you can lose it all that fast, roughly 12 days ago we were talking about marrige to solve my immigration status for good and she was like "I would absolutely accept it because you're a great boyfriend and I can really see myself with you and I love you very much".

That really confused me a lot everything was so good that we even talked about marrige/getting engaged and she ended it like it was nothing to her. The flowers I ordered a week ago just arrived at her house yesterday and her mother told me all she said was "thanks" and she smiled and said "not changing my mind" I do know however if i flew back there and took her out on a date this whole situation would most likely turn around and this is where my biggest problem is, i can either give up now or try. The hardest part about is whether to keep trying harder or give up. None the less rebound relationships never work out, and this is the crappy thing, i have to make a descision before tomorrow morning to get everything set up again, ive spoken to friends and family about this and none can give me any advice on what to do, either to keep trying or giving up.

 

it is tricky to talk to it about her as she ends the conversation before it even started if i try to discuss it like adults, and yes we were just 40 days shy of a year. She was honest with me and told me she met a kid on runescape and got a crush on him lol. She did actually give me some bullshit when i think about it.

1: she said we don't communicate, i was working 12 hours a day and i went to bed when she woke up because of her sleep that was so fked up

2: she say we argue too much, when you think about we really don't argue too often and we've only had O N E serious argument in this past year.

I did notice her getting uninterested since she couldn't take two minutes off Runescape to answer my texts anymore so that's where i knew something was up, and now she says she just doesn't "feel it" I just don't understand how you can lose it all that fast, roughly 12 days ago we were talking about marrige to solve my immigration status for good and she was like "I would absolutely accept it because you're a great boyfriend and I can really see myself with you and I love you very much".

That really confused me a lot everything was so good that we even talked about marrige/getting engaged and she ended it like it was nothing to her. The flowers I ordered a week ago just arrived at her house yesterday and her mother told me all she said was "thanks" and she smiled and said "not changing my mind" I do know however if i flew back there and took her out on a date this whole situation would most likely turn around and this is where my biggest problem is, i can either give up now or try. The hardest part about is whether to keep trying harder or give up. None the less rebound relationships never work out, and this is the crappy thing, i have to make a descision before tomorrow morning to get everything set up again, ive spoken to friends and family about this and none can give me any advice on what to do, either to keep trying or giving up.

I can relate to that. Was in a relationship for 6 months and my ex suddenly said "I don't feel it anymore" with hardly any explanation.

If I were you and I truly believed that if I flew over there and it would change the whole situation I would do it. If I loved her that much and I saw even the slightest chance to fix things, i'd take it. But that's just me, of course none of your friends can give you the right advice. Only you can.

Don't do what he or she is telling you, and what's best for you. Just do what you feel is best for yourself, I know this sounds like a huge cliche but, it's the truth.

 

[DRSX]

I can relate to that. Was in a relationship for 6 months and my ex suddenly said "I don't feel it anymore" with hardly any explanation.

If I were you and I truly believed that if I flew over there and it would change the whole situation I would do it. If I loved her that much and I saw even the slightest chance to fix things, i'd take it. But that's just me, of course none of your friends can give you the right advice. Only you can.

Don't do what he or she is telling you, and what's best for you. Just do what you feel is best for yourself, I know this sounds like a huge cliche but, it's the truth.

Youre right, i do believe it would change everything so idk i gotta think

 

[Ricola]

I can relate to that. Was in a relationship for 6 months and my ex suddenly said "I don't feel it anymore" with hardly any explanation.

If I were you and I truly believed that if I flew over there and it would change the whole situation I would do it. If I loved her that much and I saw even the slightest chance to fix things, i'd take it. But that's just me, of course none of your friends can give you the right advice. Only you can.

Don't do what he or she is telling you, and what's best for you. Just do what you feel is best for yourself, I know this sounds like a huge cliche but, it's the truth.

same thing happened to me tbh, and it sucks but the feelings just arent there anymore, its just dull, i would say play it smart, dont give into your feelings, you may want to talk to her and give in but be strong, it will help you greatly, i would honestly do the same but just the way shes acting, she doenst deserve it, shes not even trying