coming of age

[JohnK]

so i'm fresh out of high school as of 2 months ago and i've just turned 18, last week actually, and idk, i'm just finding it hard to come to grips with the fact that i wont be a carefree kid with zero responsibilities forever. i'm having a hard time 'coming of age', growing up, taking on new responsiblity and all that shit that comes with being an adult. you know, i just think that after i've finished with tertiary education it's just going to be the same bullshit 9-5 job for the next 40 years of my life. boring adult shit looks boring, and tbh i like the way things are with my life atm, i like being a kid, i like doing what i wanna do and most importantly i like having no responsibilities and pretty much having everything done for me. you know... sometimes i just think, fuck the system.

tl;dr need advice on dealing with growing up and coming of age

 

[i noob killer i]

Trying being more responsible by taking on new roles for example if you work ask to be a supervisor or generally do things that someone of 18 would do, I personally at 18 was responsible but that’s because I was not spoon fed by my parents at a young age. So you will adapt and become more mature it takes people longer than others just wait you will find your feet soon.

 

[Zerkerfist]

I think coming of age is a much slower process than people make it out to be, and I don't like that societal ideal that we hold to that as soon as you hit 18 and graduate, your ass is out the door, off to University, getting your own apartment and a full-time job etc. Some people just don't grow up so fast..

You don't have to lose your youth just yet man. In fact, I took a whole year off after highschool to do fuck all except work & get my own apartment, then party and live independently for awhile. You don't have to do that yourself, but just to give you an idea of a "slow" start to manhood

I would sit down and have a serious think about what you want to do with your life from this point on? Where do you see yourself in 6 months...1 year...2 years... 5 years... 10 years? What are your goals and aspirations and/or what do you want to achieve or accomplish in your life? Start to think about these things, and then make goals that you can set and work towards with your time now. Maybe you want to get a job somewhere and work towards full-time employment and moving out on your own? Or maybe you want to go to college and/or University and get a part-time job to help your parents support you as you move through your post secondary education.

Just try not to feel too pressured to have to have it all figured out at once man, it takes alot longer than that for most people. Slowly over time you will be able to gain more independence and feel GOOD about it Even though it seems so daunting and overwhelming at first, things like having your own place, doing your own laundry, buying your own stuff, cooking your own meals etc. actually feels pretty good sometimes when you have finally established your own independence and don't have people doing everything for you.

 

[Imagine]

you = holden in catcher in the rye?

I suggest to just find a job that you ENJOY doing, and that you WANT to do.

 

[thatguy1234]

Well its going to be hard to adjust but all good things come to an end. But that doesnt mean it ends permanently. I can understand not wanting to work a 9 to 5 which is the average persons life. But think, if you dont want to live an average life do some unaverage shit. What have you got to lose?

Dont do anything illegal though, as risking everything for a glimpse of sunshine isnt worth it when you can have the sun later on in life. It might be hard at first but just keep at whatever you decide to do. But whatever you do perfect it. Make yourself stand out, this is what will seperate you from others.

If you really want something, you will get it no matter what it takes or how long it takes. Just stay motivated in whatever you do and have a fierce attitude about it. Dont worry about what people will think about you, because there's always going to be haters but once you start making money everything will change.

Just remember, in whatever you do, do it to the extreme and live it.Itll all be greater later

 

Like I said in IRC, nothing changes..

I am the exact same person as I was when I was in school and college.
I'm in university with a job as well, so imagine how much work I have to do.
Even with all that work I still enjoy everything, I meet new interesting people and I still know all my old friends.
Your life stays exactly the same, all that happens is you have a new exciting experience. None of your friends magically vanish or anything.
I am assuming you have a mobile phone? There is a reason people have those.

You think of work as boring sitting on your ass doing the same thing over and over. You're wrong.
I work in a supermarket while I'm at uni so I scrape a little cash in for my beer You might think that's boring, but it's not, all I do is talk to my work mates and have a laugh, we pull pranks on each other and everyone laughs, even the old people get in on it sometimes.
Nobody finishes school, goes into work and then all of a sudden becomes a dick and starts being boring.

 

[fball56]

I'm a little older than you and know what your going through. The way I think about is to get a job and a career that I will want to go to work everyday. Also use the motivational of wanting to do nothing to get your work done and all the 'adult stuff' out of the way so you can do nothing and be a kid. I do everything I have to before doing what I want. Its something you have to accept and prioritize. You won't learn it in a day, week, or a month. It will probably take you months or years.
Also, keep things interesting. Try not to fall into a boring routine. Try new things and meet new people. It will take your mind off of the boring adult stuff

 

[Herman Li]

Don't worry about 'coming to age' or any of that bullshit.

Do what YOU want to do. I'm 18 in college and I don't give a shit about "being a mature adult." Fuck that. I'll be a cheesy kid who watches Spongebob til I die.

tl;dr Do what YOU want. Not what others expect of you.

 

[T V]

I felt that way for a while too, and often times I wish I had made better use of my time when I was younger. But I've also realized it doesn't make things any better to hold onto that sort of regret or wishful thinking. We can't turn back time and we can't change the past. The future comes when it will, so as they say, "we'll cross that bridge when we get there". Focus on what's happening now. You're 18 man, live it up while you can. Yes, you're now an "adult", but that doesn't mean it's all downhill from here.

I know you're a big music person, so something that always helps
alleviating the repetition of everyday life is concerts. I don't know what New Zealand's music scene is like, and although you mostly listen to Hip Hop, you should consider broadening your musical palette. You never know when you might find something new that you'll really enjoy. I feel that listening to various types of music sort of gives you the ability to adjust to things more easily.

Change is inevitable. Without it we won't advance. You gotta accept the fact that if you want to get ahead in life, you'll need to make changes. But also keep in mind that you do have control over where you want to go in life. If you're going to be doing one thing for the rest of your life, make sure it's something you'll enjoy. For for now though, enjoy the time you have as much as you can. Personally, I'm not too worried about what's going to happen in the future; whatever happens, happens. I'll just have to make the most of it.

Stay positive man!

 

[Dimethyl]

You're still young, so you have nothing to worry about. Definitely the best thing you can do is find a part time job. It's a good way to gain responsibility and prepare you for your future. Work is not nearly as bad you would think, especially if you're only working 20-25 hours a week, and it's always good to have some cash in your pocket. You'll also feel a lot more grown up once you go to school and move out of the house. Soon you will have your own place and be able to do anything you want, which is a great feeling.

 

[EisHERE]

JohnK, I actually feel like I'm having the same problem... Coming to grips with this reality we live in. It's so strange and the world is changing all so fast. I've been working a full time job the last few months/ a different one during the summer.. I really really don't want to grow up at all. But I still find myself growing up more and more without me even trying. Our thought processes are changing a lot. I used to be like fuckitall I'll fight anyone anywhere lets do it now. But now I avoid fighting for the most part, I think more about what would happen to the people around me if I did this or that... I don't think about myself as much anymore and I don't worry about money so much. I've always wanted to be working full time to have money but it's certainly not something I even want to do. I like to cruise around and just relax. Constantly stressed out these days, when it rains it poors for me, and it rains more than it shines. Don't worry about it all man, just let it come to you. Besides we're all dead the 21st of december anyhow so fuckit... If you ask me the signs are pretty clear.

 

[kmjt]

Why not go to college? Basically like highschool with a few more responsibilities.

 

[EisHERE]

exactly what kmjt said, just go to college I feel it's a part of life you should not miss out on.