Your thoughts?

[Soccer is Life]

I'll start off by saying that my life is a good life by pretty much anyone's standards. I have a good home life, I have nice things (that I work for myself), I am in college, but even with all these nice things I've always negative and at times depressed. I'm 18 almost 19, and I've felt this way since about 15.

Nothing drastic has really happened to me to make me feel this way, like I said my life is good by anyone's standards. I just feel like I can't relate or connect with people, I think differently from everyone else, I have different views then a lot of people, I like to be alone most of the time doing things I like to do. I have friends but they don't know me like they think they know me.

I just have no idea what I want to do in my life, and so far, being an "adult" has sucked, and it doesn't appear to get any better. I don't want to get married or have kids, I have no interest in dating girls or anything like that because I can't connect with any of them. I'm considering joining the military but that is a big decision and I don't want to make the wrong one. I've thought of suicide, but not doing it because I'm depressed or sad, because most of the time I'm not, I just don't want to have to deal with all the bullshit that life throws at me, knowing its only going to increase as I grow older.

Any thoughts on this? Words of comfort? Advice?
Anything is greatly appreciated, thanks!

 

[Annex]

Well you are still very young and having gained feelings of depression from 15-19 is hardly uncommon as that is when puberty is really starting to set in. Marijuana hardly will help you because if you aren't in the right mood it will make you feel depressed. Being lost and confused is also a very common hallmark of being your age, its hard to know what you want to do for the rest of your life, so I recommend just taking a general year in post secondary and seeing what interests you.

Lastly connecting with girls is very common in connecting with friends, if you are always trying to chase the prettiest girl you can find you will have a hard time trying to connect with them when they aren't into anything more than gossip and trying to look pretty. You also might want to explore the possibility that you could be gay or bisexual.