Accidents In The Bedroom

So, we've all experienced either a weird, awkward or a damn right fuck-up in the bedroom.

I'll go first.

I'm not circumcised, let's start there.

One day, I was having sex with my ex-girlfriend, we were doing missionary. All of a sudden I felt something really wet and pulled out ( the lights were off ). I looked down and saw blood everywhere. On her, me and the bed-sheets. I automatically assumed she was on her period or something.

Moments later I had the worst, and I mean the WORST stinging sensation I have ever experienced right at the tip of my penis. I had completely tore my frenulum ( banjo string ). In shock I jumped off and drove to the hospital as it was near by. Took me about 2-3 weeks to heal. I briefly remember that urinating caused some really unpleasant feelings.

The end.

 

Oddly enough I’ve had this very same thing happen to me atleast 3 times on 3 different spots on my penis. Most recently my girlfriend was playing with herself while I was on top, her finger slipped and cut my shaft. Nothing hurts more then a dick tear, took two weeks to heal

 

Ouch three times?! You may as well get circumcised haha.
They say that the fibres repair even stronger every tear too, you must be going hard son.

 

I snapped my banjo string when i was 15 , not pleasent i also went to hospital wrapped in a towel...

However , i once couldn't get a hard on after a heavy day and night drinking and with the lights off i flipped her over , pretended i was in nice and hard with my fingers. I continued for about 20 minutes before pretending to shoot my bolt. I got dressed and have never seen here again .

 

I got a leg cramp, tried to stretch my leg out while still mounted, and ended up kicked him in the face and giving him a massive bloody nose

 

yo or TP on the dot. gross lol

 

you ever fart while getting a bj? cause I have LOL

 

My worst so far, is when I was a child, I dreamt of swimming at sea, I decided to piss as no one would ever know, turns out I was lying on my own piss for a few hours already.

 

Hahaha, that's devastating! I sometimes get leg cramps too.

Hahaha, oh god no! I couldn't imagine doing that XD

That is disgusting! I haven't seen shit, but I've definitely smelt it

 

You sure seem to have some real weird stories lol... What's next, you've been sexually assaulted by a fish?

 

Hahahahahahaha, not quite

 

If you're in your avatar, I'd assault you with a fish.


In a... sexy way?

 

I went with my girlfriend too her sisters 12 hours away for the week I was 16 at the time and I only got drunk a few times before; well her sister ended up getting us both hammered and I pissed the bed. Thankfully she was understanding that I just R.kellied her after slamming a whole bottle of Jack daniels. Still happily together 7 years later!

 

Yeah, I'm always up for new experiences :*

 

Ouch man, did you ever re-visit the sphincter?

 

Same thing except it was her period and I nutted as I noticed lel

 

Absolute worst was hooking up at a party (before being drunk meant no ofc) with this woman, who was old enough to be my mother puked in my mouth, and tried to keep going but I pushed her off and left.. And a couple days later I ran into her and she said she was glad I left, she lost 1 young dick but gained a "middle-aged gangbang" (her words)

Funniest, I guess was an ex and I were in the living room on the floor (not exactly bedroom but whatever) and instead of a coffee table, we have this bench-thing with a leather top. When she got ontop, she rested her arm on the bench for leverage, and being soft-leather, it pushed in enough to spill a glass of iced tea right onto my face, ice and all.

 

Hahahahahahaha, that first one is hilarious. For some reason I imagine her being the size of a whale, is this true?

 

Nah, kinda skinny... Pretty much looked just like your stereo-typical, used-up party chick.