- Joined
- Jul 30, 2009
- Sythe Gold
- 0
- Messages
- 335
Hey guys, I have recently been bored, so I decided to make a whole thread about Famous/Funny Quotes said. I will be asking for you guys to tell me some funny or famous quotes to add to the list! I have a few myself, but I will always be adding, and I am planning to make this the biggest thread ever! Here are the quotes:
"Virginity is like a balloon - one prick and it's gone."
"Sex is like a math equation. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide 1 into 0 and hope you don't multiply."
"To be or not to be"
"I would say I'm from the hood but I can't fake starving."
"I thought I was ugly. But then I met you."
"How YOU doin?"
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit."
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
"An eye for an eye would leave the whole world blind."
"To do, is to dare."
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled, it is a fire to be ignited."
"Live life to its fullest, no one gets out alive."
"It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy."
"My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'."
"When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better."
"What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap."
"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though."
"My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects."
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
"A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing."
"The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked together in the same cage."
"Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."
"My best birth control now is to leave the lights on."
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
"Oh Lord give me chastity, but do not give it yet."
"The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutang trying to play the violin."
"My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
"Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure."
"I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women."
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."
"I eat pussy like a fat kid eats cake."
"The meaning if life is to give life meaning."
"Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected."
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."
"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional."
"Treat other like you would want to be treated."
"I'll be back."
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me."
"Tomorrow is another day."
"You are what you imagine yourself to be, nothing else."
"Virginity is like a balloon - one prick and it's gone."
"Sex is like a math equation. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide 1 into 0 and hope you don't multiply."
"To be or not to be"
"I would say I'm from the hood but I can't fake starving."
"I thought I was ugly. But then I met you."
"How YOU doin?"
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit."
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
"An eye for an eye would leave the whole world blind."
"To do, is to dare."
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled, it is a fire to be ignited."
"Live life to its fullest, no one gets out alive."
"It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy."
"My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'."
"When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better."
"What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap."
"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though."
"My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects."
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
"A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing."
"The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked together in the same cage."
"Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."
"My best birth control now is to leave the lights on."
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
"Oh Lord give me chastity, but do not give it yet."
"The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutang trying to play the violin."
"My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
"Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure."
"I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women."
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds."
"I eat pussy like a fat kid eats cake."
"The meaning if life is to give life meaning."
"Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected."
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."
"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional."
"Treat other like you would want to be treated."
"I'll be back."
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me."
"Tomorrow is another day."
"You are what you imagine yourself to be, nothing else."
