Need Help

[Novaray]

So I met this girl in college and we immediately built a really good friendship. Have a ton of the same interests, both pursuing the same major, do homework and study together all the time, and ate together. She doesn't really hang out with anyone other than another girl who I'm friends with also and I don't either except for a few guys I'm friends with. This meant we spent a lot of time together, just us two. I'd help her with her schoolwork, go to the store with her, make sure she was alright when she was sick, go to the music rooms at 2 AM so she wouldn't have to practice alone, etc. We've also had really deep talks together. I really like her (she's definitely one of the better looking girls at my school, I've never told her this) and she's a really nice person (I've told her this). I'm a goofy person and she thinks I'm really funny, albeit not the most attractive. One of the only things that differ between us is the fact that she likes to drink on the weekends and go out partying and I don't drink at all. She sometimes tells me to go to the parties and make sure she and her friend don't drink too much or do too much stupid things and I do so. However, The fact that I don't drink or party might be affecting her views on me, I'm not sure. Recently, however, she's stopped talking to me or texting me when she used to do so all the time. I've tried to text her to try to initiate conversation but she hasn't been texting back and I'm not really sure what to do. I don't have any explanation for why she's ignoring me. I asked her friend if she was mad at me and she said "no, just let her be for a little bit" but recently her friend has stopped responding to my texts as well.

Just wondering if you guys have any advice for me

 

[Ownaj]

Damm man, My friend is kind of going through the same problem as you. Sounds to me like you truly like her. Looks like a good match, somewhat goofy/funny person with perhaps a serious person, both bringing out the best of each other.

My perspective on her is that she is "Dropping you" is because you didn't "conform" to a social way of life she was involved in and didn't really participate in her interests (partying) You probably just stood there, maybe danced a little bit but you looked like you wanted to leave most of the time. You sound like a quiet, calm, soft and "appropriate" type guy, not obnoxious or anything. See, you make her feel good and all, but this woman has fire in her, especially if she was an attractive girl and she knew it.

She needed to have some fun, perhaps some adrenaline so she found a "jock" or some guy that would make her have fun, met him at a party, went out with him a couple times and yeah its going from there. Shes looking back at you and has finally come to a realization of how much of an introvert she was because she had like five friends , 3 of which were guys (this includes you) and now and shes partying as much as she can or a lot just to meet people and change her old way of life. This is just my perspective and is not necessarily true.

Has she had any other boyfriends / relationships before you? Did she want you to make a move or did you? Being stuck 1 on 1 in a music room together at 2AM seems like you guys were pretty close.
You need to approach her, if shes in your classes, talk to her after class. If she avoids you, don't let her. Just ask her whats the matter? You were so close, e.t.c If you want her to party with you more or something, just try to get an answer from her.

Just don't get into that plummeting emotion and mindset of "your girl" being with "another guy". It will ruin the relationship. If you really like her try praying or asking someone you know ( older people usually know a lot about this subject ). Keep asking her friends, but if you can, talk to her! Ask he what the matter is!

Sorry if my perspective is completely wrong. Sorry if this sounds stupid but, hey, just putting what I think out there! All the best!

 

[The debater]

Damm man, My friend is kind of going through the same problem as you. Sounds to me like you truly like her. Looks like a good match, somewhat goofy/funny person with perhaps a serious person, both bringing out the best of each other.

My perspective on her is that she is "Dropping you" is because you didn't "conform" to a social way of life she was involved in and didn't really participate in her interests (partying) You probably just stood there, maybe danced a little bit but you looked like you wanted to leave most of the time. You sound like a quiet, calm, soft and "appropriate" type guy, not obnoxious or anything. See, you make her feel good and all, but this woman has fire in her, especially if she was an attractive girl and she knew it.

She needed to have some fun, perhaps some adrenaline so she found a "jock" or some guy that would make her have fun, met him at a party, went out with him a couple times and yeah its going from there. Shes looking back at you and has finally come to a realization of how much of an introvert she was because she had like five friends , 3 of which were guys (this includes you) and now and shes partying as much as she can or a lot just to meet people and change her old way of life. This is just my perspective and is not necessarily true.

Has she had any other boyfriends / relationships before you? Did she want you to make a move or did you? Being stuck 1 on 1 in a music room together at 2AM seems like you guys were pretty close.
You need to approach her, if shes in your classes, talk to her after class. If she avoids you, don't let her. Just ask her whats the matter? You were so close, e.t.c If you want her to party with you more or something, just try to get an answer from her.

Just don't get into that plummeting emotion and mindset of "your girl" being with "another guy". It will ruin the relationship. If you really like her try praying or asking someone you know ( older people usually know a lot about this subject ). Keep asking her friends, but if you can, talk to her! Ask he what the matter is!

Sorry if my perspective is completely wrong. Sorry if this sounds stupid but, hey, just putting what I think out there! All the best!

This is exactly what i was thinking, you hit the problem with a bat, hat's off to you.

^Listen to him.

 

I'd write a big long paragraph like the user above, but honestly.. I don't need to.

She liked you. But now you have been friend zoned.

By the sounds of things she fancied you and you her, but you took too long to initiate anything, so she lost interest in you.
(PS you're a nice guy, if a girl rang me at 2AM to come and rehearse with her I'd laugh and tell her to stfu and go back to sleep)

 

[Apith]

Please clarify.

She doesn't really hang out with anyone other than another girl who I'm friends with also

Is it still like this? Has it changed?

One of the only things that differ between us is the fact that she likes to drink on the weekends and go out partying and I don't drink at all.

Has she recently been doing this? Or has she been doing this for some time?

How long have you known her for?

As much as I want to give an answer, you missed out key points and I wouldn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.

Ownaj could be right depending on your answer.

 

[Novaray]

Please clarify.



Is it still like this? Has it changed?



Has she recently been doing this? Or has she been doing this for some time?

How long have you known her for?

As much as I want to give an answer, you missed out key points and I wouldn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.

Ownaj could be right depending on your answer.

For the first question, yes it's still like that. She only really hangs out with just that girl

About the drinking and partying, she's been doing this ever since college started and did it a bit in high school as well. She told me that in high school, her friends were more of the "party animals" while she was more of the babysitter at the parties.

I've known her since the first week of college, so about 3 months now and she was one of the first people I met at college.


@Ownaj
Thanks a lot for the help!
She's never had a boyfriend before though she was good friends with a few guys in high school. And I feel like I wanted to make the move more than she did but she told me quite often that she liked me.


@Shoop
Thanks for the help too, yeah it may very well be that I waited too long

 

[Apith]

For the first question, yes it's still like that. She only really hangs out with just that girl

About the drinking and partying, she's been doing this ever since college started and did it a bit in high school as well. She told me that in high school, her friends were more of the "party animals" while she was more of the babysitter at the parties.

I've known her since the first week of college, so about 3 months now and she was one of the first people I met at college.

Interesting.

Nothing's changed. Then again, you only knew her for 3 months. That's pretty quick to be doing what you did with her, especially when you were just friends for that long.

I wouldn't say you're friendzoned just yet, my guess is you could have done something one of them didn't like, and you didn't notice, or they found out something about you.

If I were in your shoes, I'd text or even ask her in person "What happened?". That could get them curious to what you're talking about, or if you're talking about something else. It's a girl, nor do I know her, so I have absolutely no clue what could be going through her mind. It's just not right for someone to randomly push you out of their life for pretty much no reason, especially after what you both have done. Unless she caught on that you had feelings for her.

 

[IxI Duality IxI]

Girls are a freaking paradox. One day they're with you, then the next day there gone and don't even pick up/reply to phone messages as if you didn't exist! I would go with Apith on this one. Try calling her or meeting up with her after class and find out what the dealio is. Best of luck friend.

 

Girls are a freaking paradox. One day they're with you, then the next day there gone and don't even pick up/reply to phone messages as if you didn't exist!

100% this.

Don't be the one doing the chasing, honestly. She sounds like she might like you, but if you're going to want to talk about it and what she's doing at the weekend or whatever she's going to get annoyed.

Just as you probably want to be accepted for not drinking, she should be accepted for drinking. Personally, I don't drink on a large scale but I go to parties and stay sober and still manage to have fun. If she's asked you to go then she must be torn between spending time just with you and partying. She's tying to find the happy medium, you should go along and you might enjoy it. Spending time with you on your own is one thing, but spending time together with other people is important to.

 

[Herman Li]

Yeah it's hard to say on this one. You're taking way too long to make a move in my opinion yet she's only with those few people you say.