Question.

[Sypherz]

I've been out of a relationship for 10 months. Long story short, we had a bad breakup. I've tried to talk to her twice since we "stopped talking", both being huge emotional failures. (the last 3 months ago). The second ended with her blocking me on fb & her phone, I believe. Although I feel that that is a bit harsh..

Anyways, I'm going to see her in 3 weeks because of a mutual friends birthday party. I'm completely over all of this.. but I've been kind of missing her lately. I already know I'm going to go there trying to look my best, etc. etc. just for that reason. Is it worth trying to make things up with her now that i'm in a more stable mindset? I'm.. not sure if I can bring my self up to it. But.. i've been thinking lately.

 

[Sypherz]

erm.. it was more of a "stop trying to talk to me" thing. And she's a pretty stubborn person.

 

[Annex]

Some advice for you, generally when a girl outright blocks you out then it means she has lost any respect for you she had and knows she can get away with treating you like shit. I probably wouldn't try to get back together with her because it will confirm what she thought. Just go there have a good time and put on the impression that you are happy, avoid talking to her about your relationship unless she initiates it.

Going out there and talking to her first thing about it will confirm why you are broken up most likely.

 

[<3☻]

Some advice for you, generally when a girl outright blocks you out then it means she has lost any respect for you she had and knows she can get away with treating you like shit. I probably wouldn't try to get back together with her because it will confirm what she thought. Just go there have a good time and put on the impression that you are happy, avoid talking to her about your relationship unless she initiates it.

Going out there and talking to her first thing about it will confirm why you are broken up most likely.

Well spoken, I disagree with Laptop.
On to a next one.

 

[Sypherz]

Some advice for you, generally when a girl outright blocks you out then it means she has lost any respect for you she had and knows she can get away with treating you like shit. I probably wouldn't try to get back together with her because it will confirm what she thought. Just go there have a good time and put on the impression that you are happy, avoid talking to her about your relationship unless she initiates it.

Going out there and talking to her first thing about it will confirm why you are broken up most likely.

Thankyou. You couldn't have put that better.
I actually have never thought of it like that.

 

[Fresh Cigar]

Some advice for you, generally when a girl outright blocks you out then it means she has lost any respect for you she had and knows she can get away with treating you like shit. I probably wouldn't try to get back together with her because it will confirm what she thought. Just go there have a good time and put on the impression that you are happy, avoid talking to her about your relationship unless she initiates it.

Going out there and talking to her first thing about it will confirm why you are broken up most likely.

Correct, you say it's been 10 months, I think that's well over enough to get over her.

Just find someone else and move on, life is short so you gotta make it good

And I also disagree with Laptop.

 

[Sypherz]

^I am well, well over her. I think that the reason I still want to spark a friendship with her is a mixture of stubbornness and, well, just the fact that she was important to me.

I'll control myself though.

 

[Partlycloudy]

^I am well, well over her. I think that the reason I still want to spark a friendship with her is a mixture of stubbornness and, well, just the fact that she was important to me.

I'll control myself though.

To me ( And I'm saying this because I do the exact same thing) it sounds like you're just feeling a bit lonely. I know whenever I'm lonely I start to think about exs and then I remember only the good times and I want to go back. But then I come to the realization (Sometimes the hard way) that I don't want them back but that I just want someone.

Take some time and think about both the good and bad aspects of that relationship and I think you'll find you don't want her back, but instead you just want someone.

As for seeing her again, bring a friend or two to this birthday party if you can and just hang out with them and they should keep you pretty distracted. Strength in numbers and all that.

And if you really are 100% over her, I still think this advice could still be applied to friendships as well.

 

[Zerkerfist]

Seeing your ex in a social setting after a bad breakup can be quite hard. I know that feeling, where your gut feels like it's churning inside of you. :sick:

I agree with Annex when he said that you should avoid confronting her about your relationship, or your past history. Don't be cold towards her but don't give her all your attention either. Just go and try to be yourself and keep your nerves down, smile, have fun, and enjoy yourself. If the party is going pleasantly and you are both in good moods, perhaps you two will get a chance to talk and catch up. I would avoid talking about your relationship though at all costs - unless she brings it up first and wants to talk about it.

Also - I partially disagree with what Annex said about the reasoning behind her cutting off all contact with you. It is not necessarily because she has lost all respect for you, but sometimes girls do that because it makes it much easier to get through a break up if they can completely cut off ties with that you, or if they can direct another emotion at you, such as anger, to mask their own sadness. Depending on the circumstances of the break up, break ups usually involve two broken hearts, not just yours.

If you guys manage to get along at this party and things aren't too awkward, then who knows what might happen. You might find she misses you a little bit too (more than she has let on at least) ^_^ Good luck brother!