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So, girlfriend's getting a straight male roommate

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Blupig

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It's normal to be worried that something might develop between the two of them right? My girlfriend works a lot right now to pay her expensive rent so our relationship has been pretty flat lately because of that, and I'm just afraid that that vulnerability will crumble since she'll be around this other guy all the time.

Should I bring up my concerns? Am I wrong to be concerned?

Thanks for the help
 
Just go meet her roomate and act like a alpha male. I suggest grunting and if possible banging on things. He will understand and naturally copy what you are doing to a lesser extent to show his submission. If the female is present then you must act even more aggressive towards him so he will learn his role in your pack.
 
What kind of room mate situation is it? Does she have the option to pick her room mate? If not why doesn't she just live with her girlfriends?
 
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Whatsgood44 said:
Just go meet her roomate and act like a alpha male. I suggest grunting and if possible banging on things. He will understand and naturally copy what you are doing to a lesser extent to show his submission. If the female is present then you must act even more aggressive towards him so he will learn his role in your pack.
Click to expand...

haha. started laughing as I read this. the funny thing is, it might work....
 
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Hows the other guy, in terms of looks, personality etc? Just be the alpha and show the beta his place brah.
 
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it does seem odd that she would pick him to be her roommate, i say maybe confronting her about it, by all means you should be concerned she's your girlfriend
 
Honestly I wouldn't be able to live with that situation..

Thinking about my girl sharing a room with some male roommate..I'd have serious issues with that.

I don't think that its weird for you to be concerned, I'd be very concerned. I'd let her know how you feel about it for sure.
 
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kmjt said:
What kind of room mate situation is it? Does she have the option to pick her room mate? If not why doesn't she just live with her girlfriends?
Click to expand...

I haven't met him yet, but apparently him and I are the only two people she'd be able to stand. It's not for sure yet, but the two of them work together and are each looking for places with the possibility of accommodating the other.

I'd live with her if I could, but unfortunately can't afford it with school payments and everything.

As for the layout of the apartment, so far it's looking like something 2 bedroom with a common living area.

I'm especially worried because I don't know him, and I don't know what they're like together at work (don't know if they flirt or if they're just work buddies). Another issue is safety, if the rooms don't have locks in the apartment what stopping him from coming home one night and raping her? Mind you if that happened, I'd cut off his nuts and feed them to him (you wish I was joking).

I think I'll express my preference to her finding a female roommate, but if that can't happen then I'll put the kid in his beta place. Trouble is I can't always be around for that and things could easily escalate if I'm not around.
 
If they already know each other and are moving in together I would disapprove. They obviously like each other already (even if it is at a friendship level) so what is there to stop it from taking off from there?
 
Aww man, I really wish I could advise something properly here, could you and her not solve your way around living together in any type of way? even if it was just for a few months, I've lived with my girlfriend for 9 months so from my experience, the thought of her being around some other guy, especially with some guy she would work with I'd not only end up clingy and paranoid, but I'd probably push her away. How long have you been with her? Try and speak to her and hint that you don't want her being room mates with him, If she understood if it was her view with you and a female, then she wouldn't do it.

But the fact of the thread must mean that you're obviously worried about this. Even if you don't see a reason or don't want to be, you still will be, and if she did, and worse came to the worse, then you'd be better off anyway, you'd only need someone who's faithful and trust is key in a relationship. (I'm not in any way saying she would, just that if it ever came to it, then you know where you stood)
 
I'd be worried as well. Tbh that alpha thing sounds like a good idea.
I share a house with a buddy of mine and his girlfriend, and while he was at work every night, she'd be flirting with me saying how she wants to leave him and shit and asking me to help her out, but then the next day I'll hear them having sex and shit. Girls are fucked up man, just be careful.
 
It is your girl. It is 100% fine to be concerned, like all the others said, be the alpha and show that guy something.
 
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if i were you i'd be feeling the same thing, but anything like this you should ALWAYS talk to her, let her know what is bothering you...and it's not the fact that "you don't trust her" it's just a concern you have, and it's something that can be talked out/about very easily, and sorted, and everything should go well.

But if you don't tell her and keep your feelings about it she may notice and cause problems between you both. Hope things work out for you dude.
 
I would simply lay out your concerns if my ex bf would have done that I would have laid out my concerns. Just make sure you keep concerns and jealous separate. Because jealous will only push people away.
 
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RecklessMatt said:
Aww man, I really wish I could advise something properly here, could you and her not solve your way around living together in any type of way? even if it was just for a few months, I've lived with my girlfriend for 9 months so from my experience, the thought of her being around some other guy, especially with some guy she would work with I'd not only end up clingy and paranoid, but I'd probably push her away. How long have you been with her? Try and speak to her and hint that you don't want her being room mates with him, If she understood if it was her view with you and a female, then she wouldn't do it.

But the fact of the thread must mean that you're obviously worried about this. Even if you don't see a reason or don't want to be, you still will be, and if she did, and worse came to the worse, then you'd be better off anyway, you'd only need someone who's faithful and trust is key in a relationship. (I'm not in any way saying she would, just that if it ever came to it, then you know where you stood)
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Yeah unfortunately unless I win the lottery I've got to stay at my mum's place. I've been with her for almost 8 months now.

I think you guys are right, I should probably just talk to her about it and see if she can't find a place to live alone or with a female roommate.

Elena said:
I would simply lay out your concerns if my ex bf would have done that I would have laid out my concerns. Just make sure you keep concerns and jealous separate. Because jealous will only push people away.
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Yeah I completely agree, I'm not really jealous though. Even if I could afford it I'm not entirely sure I'd want to move in with her, because that's a huge step and last thing I want would be for her to drive me crazy and then I lose both a place and a relationship. I'm more or less worried that the weak patch her and I are going through right now could give way to her developing feelings for this guy.

If it happens and they do end up rooming together, it's going to be really hard to maintain my status since they will see each other more than I'll see her... :\

Thanks for all the replies btw everyone :)
 
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Well if she's more faithful and committed in a relationship with you, then surely she wouldn't start having feelings for someone else she stays with... right?

Do you know the person she's planning to stay with? Do you know anything about him?

I say talk to her and tell her what you're concerned about. It'll obviously show you care about her to bring the subject up.
 
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I wouldn't recommend you asking her to find another roommate. If she's faithful, attracted to you, then there shouldn't be an issue. Asking her to find a female roommate may sound abrasive and make you look insecure.

I mean, put bluntly, if you're worried about her cheating on you with that guy roommate - meaning, if she's going to cheat on you, regardless of who she stays with or anything, she will still cheat... if you get what I'm saying.
 
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SellerMan said:
I mean, put bluntly, if you're worried about her cheating on you with that guy roommate - meaning, if she's going to cheat on you, regardless of who she stays with or anything, she will still cheat... if you get what I'm saying.
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Exactly, If I where you I would probably let this go on, after i meet him though. You can almost always tell when people are weird/awkward/not normal and have that possibility of being a rapist as you stated above. It's perfectly normal to react to something like this as you are. But if she would cheat (not saying she will) it doesn't matter if it's with a homeless man or Donald Trump. The thing that matters is she's willing to cheat, and it would probably end up happening later, rather then sooner if you don't give her trust now. If you still feel upset/insecure i suggest making plans with her to do something and or visit her a little more often. Hope i help. :noworry:
 
Tell her that you don't like the situation and you don't want him to live with her. In my opinion you need to be very straight forward with this kind of shit or otherwise you'll end up spending your nights thinking about them instead of enjoying it.

If she says that she understands and they won't become roommates, well then you're done. If she however says she doesn't agree or even starts starting a discussion she's probably thinking of cheating on you or just leaving you.
 
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