Women are Confusing

[NikeShoes]

So, for the second time in my life, I've had the experience of sexting with a girl who doesn't actually find me sexually attractive; that is, they both claimed they aren't sexually attracted to me. In both cases, the girl has been a very close friend of mine. In neither case did the texting involve nudes or anything like that. The texts were just about sexual experiences, fantasies, fetishes, etc. etc.

The first time this happened, it was with a girl who was really flirty, and there was a lot of touching involved. But she never showed any desire to kiss or engage in sexual activities. The second time this has happened, it was with a girl who lets me cuddle up against her but refuses to actually "cuddle back". Example: I can rest my head on her shoulder, but she won't tilt her head to rest it on mine in response.

Do you guys/girls really think someone can engage in sexting without feeling sexually attracted to the person? I, quite frankly, don't believe so.

I don't know. Maybe it's just a whole new level of the friend zone... Which hey, if that's the case, so be it. I respect their feelings and desires. But it is really quite frustrating for me...

 

Do you guys/girls really think someone can engage in sexting without feeling sexually attracted to the person? I, quite frankly, don't believe so.

Yes. Because the words can be coming from someone you aren't attracted to, but you could be picturing it as someone else.

 

[NikeShoes]

Yes. Because the words can be coming from someone you aren't attracted to, but you could be picturing it as someone else.

That's a good point.

EDIT: A really good point actually. That never occurred to me. Thank you. And I think that's a really plausible explanation since it isn't abnormal for friends to confide such personal desires to each other. And texting is a less intimate medium that allows people to let their imaginations wander without having to worry about the person they're communicating with, unlike a face-to-face conversation. Add in the level of trust you have with a close friend, and it's easy to ignore the consequences that can result.

 

Being left in the friend zone is always a difficult thing to handle. I would suggest just continuing with things with these women you're speaking with and continue on. I'd say it's completely normal to feel sexually attracted to these women especially considering the circumstances.

As you continue on you'll find yourself learning better ways to avoid the friend zone. I'm not sure exactly what you're asking though so it's difficult to come up with a helpful response.

 

Don't tell me you've never watched porn and thought of someone you know rather than a random whore Same thing really. Just because you get off over it doesn't mean you'd do those things with that person IRL.

It happens to all of us, friendzone's a bitch

 

[NikeShoes]

Yeah, that's what I'm pondering now. It's just really different. With the porn, the girl doesn't have to deal with the consequences of mixed signals. Doing the same with a close friend is just inconsiderate and borderline cruel though. Nonetheless, I imagine such occurrences are quite common especially with young adults who have yet to realize what the consequences might be. Now I'm trying to remember if I've ever done something like this to someone else...

 

[Josh0is0here]

Yes. Because the words can be coming from someone you aren't attracted to, but you could be picturing it as someone else.

Times 10000000000 I have sexted numerous girl that I wasn't attracted too. It's just random fun to see what you can learn/get away with.

 

[Loyal 2 da game]

i wouldn't even call that sexting, talking about sexual fetishes, experiences, it's just that kinda late night convos you get into every once inna while. shitty that it sent you mixed signals. sexting in my opinion is more like when you sending texts saying shit like "yo as long as i have a face, girl u got a place to sit ". tbh i could totally believe that the girl u described was into, the one who was super touchy. trust me, some girls don't make it overly obvious that they wanna make out or w/e, sometimes they're just trying to see whether you're man to enough to get what you want (dont rape her tho, this is crucial) or if they should put you in the friendzone. i mean shit worst case scenario you make a move and go in for the kiss and she pulls back and it's a lil awkward but you can at least say u tried...

 

[MadTwatter]

How to stay out of the friendzone?

Make her laugh, don't be a tool, be mysterious, and don't let her meet Grandpa & Grandma. Lol.

 

i wouldn't even call that sexting, talking about sexual fetishes, experiences, it's just that kinda late night convos you get into every once inna while. shitty that it sent you mixed signals. sexting in my opinion is more like when you sending texts saying shit like "yo as long as i have a face, girl u got a place to sit

Exactly, I don't really consider what you describe sexting. A girl might be interested in just talking about that kind of stuff without being into you. Keep looking, girls aren't hard to find there are a lot of them

 

[Akrotaz]

Times 10000000000 I have sexted numerous girl that I wasn't attracted too. It's just random fun to see what you can learn/get away with.

This. I'm a very curious person and I really, really enjoy seeing what people are into and what drives them sexually. If I were to be friendzoned, then that would be better for me because women can be rough, but honestly I love getting to know women on a personal level lol. It's great.

 

[Fulla]

I have never "sexted" in my life, nor do I plan on it.


The reason for this is wouldn't you rather talk to someone about the things you are talking about? Why would you want to talk to a girl about her wet pussy when you can't do anything about it. Just grow a pair of balls and when you're with her start making moves.

It's the equivalent to people talking shit behind a keyboard, the only people who do that are people who can't talk shit IRL.

Just be yourself and I'm sure everything will fall into place; and if it doesn't then she doesn't actually like you, she's just using you.

 

[NikeShoes]

I have never "sexted" in my life, nor do I plan on it.


The reason for this is wouldn't you rather talk to someone about the things you are talking about? Why would you want to talk to a girl about her wet pussy when you can't do anything about it. Just grow a pair of balls and when you're with her start making moves.

It's the equivalent to people talking shit behind a keyboard, the only people who do that are people who can't talk shit IRL.

Just be yourself and I'm sure everything will fall into place; and if it doesn't then she doesn't actually like you, she's just using you.

Don't be so ignorant. I specifically stated she's one of my closest friends, and I also specifically stated enough context to make it clear that I have made moves. I know she isn't interested in me now. That's why I found it so strange that she talks to me about more intimate stuff like this.

And in response to posts above, I don't find explicit sexting interesting, respectable, or worthwhile. Sexting is nice when it forces the other person to use their imagination. Talk about experiences but beat around the bush a little, ask people to guess what you like, stuff like that. Saying "Oh hot damn I wanna finger your wet pussy" is, in my opinion, a complete turn off. It should be playful and seductive.

Also, both these girls are ones I've known for years. This isn't like I'm just meeting a new girl and getting confused about if she likes me or not. In both cases, I've been friends with them for a long time, and I ended up getting really close with both of them too. Naturally, one starts to wonder if these sorts of friendships should progress into something more. In these two cases, they weren't interested. I just found the "mixed signals" strange. But I think roary, josh, loyal, and akro summed everything up quite well. It never occurred to me that someone could "sext" without being interested in the person. But it makes sense.

 

[Naxious]

Just gotta know her personally bro, wouldn't describe this setting but don't think too much bout it

 

[ConnorP]

Don't worry man one day one day a girl will love you

 

[NikeShoes]

Hey guys,

Things have been escalating these last two weeks, and I think there is a pretty good chance that we'll be in a full out relationship very soon. Honestly, I think she just needed time to come to terms with how she was feeling. Which is all good. The best things in life are worth waiting for.

 

[The Overfed]

Looks like you were working some magic

 

[iTrain4Gold]

Just remember behind every great man is a Great woman

 

[Cryptixx]

Just remember behind every great man is a Great woman

And behind her, is his wife.


Good luck, you two!

 

[Viscerated]

Fucking stupid cant stand when chicks play that shit. Dont to for it