Why I deserve Pirate Rank

1. I am more piratey than Scotty.
2. I am 50% more pirate than 50% Luke
3. I know who 50% Luke is without the wikia
4. My pirate name is 75% Zavada
5. Refer to #2 to explain the above
6. Rum is better than any other alcohol
7. 'Rum' doesn't taste like drain cleaner
8. 'Rum' is made with toxic tree bark
9. 'Rum' is made with maggots, scrapey bark, bitternut, flower tea, and water.
10. The rarest pirate item is the Red Pirate Hat
11. Red Pirate hats are better than blue bandanas
12. Fancy Dan is better than any other pirate
13. Rabid Jack will never live up to 50 ships Mufassah's reputation
14. Rabid Jack isn't a zombie
15. Rabid Jack's chest is a cannonball
16. Mi-gor's name is from the Lovecraftian creature Mi-go
17. Mi-gor's name is from Doctor Frankenstein's assistant, Igor
18. Gene Wilder is actually Doctor Frankenstein
19. It's "frahnkensteen"
20. Piracy is legal in Runescape
21. Pirates are honest, hard-working, 'rum' laborers
22. Check your 'rum' privilege
23. Not all 'rum' is beautiful
24. 'Rum' doesn't have to fit your unrealistic beauty standards
25. 'Rum' melts your liver
26. You don't remember the path to Braindeath Isle because Pirate Pete bashes out your short term memory
27. I know the red team's name in Trouble Brewing
28. You don't know the red team's name in Trouble Brewing
29. You don't know what Trouble Brewing is
30. Red team's name in Trouble Brewing is The Guilded Smile
31. The red team's name should be The Gilded Smile
32. The Pittsburgh Pirates are my favorite sports ball team
33. The Pittsburgh Pirates are posers
34. The Pittsburgh Pirates don't even play competitive battleship
35. The Pittsburgh Pirates don't get drunk off rum before games
36. Number 35 may have you confused, given how they play
37. Pirates of the Caribbean is based off a theme park ride
38. Jack Sparrow didn't look like Johnny Depp
39. They changed the animatronic for Jack Sparrow to look like Johnny Depp
40. The other 960 elements of this list have been stolen back by the British! Come back at a later date for when I recover my booty!

 

I am at least 75% more pirate than Steve the Pirate.

This message was sponsored by ZAVADA THE PIRATE

 

???

 

I am at least 75% more pirate than ???.

This message was sponsored by ZAVADA THE PIRATE.

 

I am at least 75% more pirate than no.

This message was sponsored by ZAVADA THE PIRATE.

 

Absolutely not.

 

I am at least 75% more pirate than Absolutely not..

This message was sponsored by ZAVADA THE PIRATE.

 

That's going to be a no from me dawg.

 

I am at least 75% more pirate than dawg.

This message was sponsored by ZAVADA THE PIRATE.

 

is this a meme? i dont get it

 

^^^

 

Only people at least 75% pirate understand this meme.

This message was sponsored by ZAVADA THE PIRATE.

 

How is this thread not by @Scotty?

-rep and down voted

 

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll **** fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.

 

@Zavada Pirates don't even know how to copy pasta

Terrible role play indeed

 

yup these are the top quality LARPers they used to have in my day.