Complete hypocritical bullshit. Steroids are helpful tools only under the complete right conditions which include proper medical training, proper supply, YEARS of training building up prior (10+ years), 100% locked on diet, and a reason to do them in the first place.
Doing steroids under any other condition (99% of the users who do them) is 100% harmful in both the short and long term.
Don't bash someone for focusing on fitness the natural way, as it is much more respectable than someone who uses anabolics.
I think you have guzzled more cum than usual lately leading into an increase in protein and aggressive behavior. My best piece of advice to you is to stop swallowing. I know how hard it must be for you to not think of it 24/, but you should be able to lead a healthy mental non-aggressive state without having to change your life habits if you just stop swallowing.