Want to say something, but can't.

Get ready to read.

A few years ago, when i was 16 and in the Army, my sister who then was very popular and had decent boyfriends..
She then met a lad as she turned 18. This lad at the time, was caring and was seemingly interested in her.
Not to be inbred but i'd consider my sister a good looking girl, well was.
As i left the army, due to injury (that's another story) I met him, he was 19 or 20 at the time and seemed alright, but i didn't think they'd last.

Anyway I'm now 20, this lad has gone from having a job,car and money to throw away, to a jobless, carless sponger.
About 3 years ago my sister fell pregnant with his baby, it was aborted.
Then a year later she fell pregnant again. This time keeping my nephew.
I myself am a very good judge of character, if i'm interested in doing so.
But she found out she was pregnant the november before last and we didn't find out until the january.
But what pisses me off is that he quit his job in the december, after knowing she was pregnant.

I myself have a very good job, some might say i'm lucky? but i'd say i was determined.
I make a very decent ammount of money if i work for it. Including working away and even abroad, unsocial hours etc.

But anyway, back to the point. They got a house about a week before my nephew was born (rented), and it all looked good
Even though they were claiming benefits etc. But it only lasted about 6 months then she moved back in with us.
I never mentioned it as the last thing she would of wanted to hear is that she is failing, because she already knows this.
She's been back at home for about 8-9 months now and he still hasn't bothered to get a job.
And i have to put up with HIS baby screaming in the night when i have to be up for work early.
And i can't say anything about it because my sister is the favourite and she's just a brat that would be the only way of describing her,
and if i do say anything it would result in a massive confrontation where it would be my mam and sister against me,
and my dad just wouldn't get involved. The weird thing is, My mam and dad totally agree with me,
but they don't want to say anything neither incase there grandson is taken away from them and she would do it in spite.

About 20-30 weeks ago i crashed my car, and i wanted to pay for it to get fixed. I was sorting my own lifts to work, getting the bus.
It was a right fuck on, but she who doesn't work or do anything.. Was insured on my mams car, and totally took advantage of it and my mam may as well of not had a car.
Which totally pissed me off because i had to go and get a bus to goto WORK, and she was laid in bed on my mams insurance which she isn't paying for.
ARGH this still aggrivates me. Anyway, my car was starting to take the piss on being repaired (it's still getting fixed now btw from march..)
and my job started sending me around the country, which i was then having to get trains for. So i thought fuck it..
I'll but a cheap car til mine is fixed. So i bought a cheap car and it was alright, it got me around the country where i needed to be and made a lot of money..
I then decided to get a better car, so i went for the BMW E46 Convertible.
I thought i'd be nice and give the cheap car to my sister, which i had only paid £600 for about 3 weeks before.
She seemed to appreciate it, but then the next day she said i could have it back, because she didn't want to pay her own insurance!..
so i said, w/e but then my mam offered to pay the insurance for her, which is £120 a month..? and her boyfriend and her and insured to drive it..
then 2 days after that they part-ex'd my car for a different one, tbh i'm glad they did because it was a little hard for her to drive.

Now he has the car, all the time.. it's not hers it's his.. I GAVE her that car. not him..
But i can't say anything because it's just generally not worth getting involved as i'd only be trying to help her and she'd turn on me.
And it's her fault anyway for being such a pushover, and letting him treat her like shit.

This car now has it's engine light on and oil light, so i replaced the spark plugs and flushed the engine for them at the weekend,
and now it's back on again, he's totally fucked the car by ragging it about, he's tried spray painting different areas to make it look better,
and it doesn't.. Fuck sake, it's not even his car!

Now they're meant to be getting a house again, on benefits. And my mam has given them there full 2 peice suite, a 42" HD telly, washer/dryer.
I'm not a jealous person but i once borrowed £100 from my dad to cover something for a few days and he demanded it back on my payday,
which he then used to pay there insurance. It pissed me off, i really don't know what i'm feeling or how to explain it properly,
this probably makes no sense to anyone but it's the only way i felt i could vent my anger/frustration! thanks for reading if you managed to and i'd love to hear what anyone thinks.

 

It seems to me that your parents favor your sister over you. I see you live at home and make enough money to support yourself, so why not move out? It looks as though your parents can hold their own and your sister seems happy there. I'm sure you can find a good apartment for a good price near your job, which would really cut your travel time and car-use.

You should add some cliffs to save your thread from being spammed with tl;drs.

 

I agree with the moving out bit that ilikepie said. Also, why would you bother doing anything with the old car if you knew her boyfriend would be the only one to use it?

 

Hope that's a bit better, ilikepie1. I don't want to commit myself to an apartment yet, as i'm not out of my apprenticeship for another half year. Once i'm out of my apprenticeship i'm out of this house for good.

Thanks for your reply you make a valid point.

EDIT: I didn't know she'd back down and let him have the car. She has a license and i didn't think that she would put him on the insurance. But she did.

 

Moving out staying away from your family. I know it seems harsh but you gotta do it. You family is giving you too much headaches it seems. Once your out of your apprenticeship would be the best time since you will be focusing on the new job.

 

Look at it from the good side. You proof'd that you can take care of yourself and it seems like your sister need to learn a few things. Maybe you can go talk with your parents and say that they need to stop giving you sister "money" and that she has to take care of herself.

 

To be honest there isn't much you can do. If she really likes this guy maybe it's best that they don't break up. Try to talk some sense into the guy with your sister, and tell him that if he needs to take on the responsibility of having a baby. Other than then that there isn't really much you can do, as you have already tried to help them out once. As for your parents, your sister is probably going through a tough time now, and needs the money/appliances more than you do. If it gets to be to much drama for you then I suggest you move out, and try to find an apartment for yourself. I wish you the best of luck with your situation! Hope this helps.

 

I'm pretty sure that you have to be at least 17 to enlist in the army.

EDIT: That's ridiculous that you only have to be 15 to enlist in the army.

 

Well, it sounds like your family does favor your sister, but only because they believe she can't take care of herself. I imagine they're hard on you because they expect you to be capable, whereas they know she's a failure.

The television part threw me off a bit, but yeah.

Honestly, move out. Or find a friend to live with. Tell your parents your feelings, don't tell your sister. Tell them you're not going to inconvenience yourself for his and her pleasure. If they don't like that, you're going to leave.

 

You seem like you can do well off without your family so you may want to think about making a life for yourself. However if you are too close to your family you will just have to deal with the drama.

 

she sounds like daddy's girl to me.
she's not heading in the right direction. you're right that their relationship will not last long. once you severe ties with her, and they're on their own and he has to get a job, that's when he will show his true colors to her. she will then realize how big of a mistake she made. you're doing the right thing buddy. do the good deed, and don't expect anything. you seem like you're independent and don't rely on others. keep it that way. that's what will help you keep your head up in future. and trust me it will be a big deal.

 

Ive had the same problem when I was your age. I was in the USA Army and when I came back it seemed like they'd forgotten who I was. So then when my time was over I moved to a different country. I now live I'm England. I have t spoke to my parents since I was 20. I'm 22 now.

 

that sucks bro. my sister is growing up and i wish i was her parent so i could keep her in line

 

Thanks for all your posts back.

It seems like the best thing i can do is get my own apartment, but until i come out of my apprenticeship I guess i'll just have to grin and bear it.

It's just a shame to grow up with my sister and we were close, now it seems I barely know her at all. She thinks she's gods gift to the family, and that she is "class" whereas I feel like saying to her, you're a failure. So stop pretending you're doing well and sort your life out!

But in this situation i feel i'm better off saying nothing and getting myself as far away as possible. Thanks again for your replies, I appreciate it.

You can begin your training at 16, but can't be sent to fight until 18.

 

Just be thankful you're in a better situation than they are (financially).
If I were you I'd probably just disassociate from them. Anyway, I understand why you'd feel angry. I hope things work out for them but without jobs, I really doubt it. Just do what's best for you, even if it is selfish.

 

Indeed. As long as you have a highschool diploma, you can get in. No matter what age. But you won't be shipped anywhere outside the US, until your 17 or 18.