Unhappy with life.

[Castaway.]

Hi there. I don't really know what to do or who to ask, so I thought perhaps I could give it a go here.

Things haven't particularly worked out for me in the past or present time. I'm just really tired of continuously trying for nothing. I am currently unemployed, and the line of business that I know I could easily get a job at is not something I desire. I've done so before and I really dislike it. I've been looking for other jobs to see if there's something that i'd actually enjoy doing, or at least not dislike as much, but of course have had no luck.

I really don't want to start working in a place that I know beforehand i'm gonna hate, but I need some sort of income. Most of the jobs that I would actually want to pursuit need better qualifications than the ones I have, so i'm having a hard time with that. I'm studying and building up my education, but until I actually have it i've no idea what to do.

I'm also a relatively lonely person. I have some friends, I go out yes, but I don't really have any true 'friends'. I'm not a person that will usually go on talking about their personal problems with someone, but I would really like it if there was someone for me to do that with.

I've thought of looking for professional help, but I don't know what my family would think. For that matter, even to my family i'm closed about my problems. It's not a subject i'm particularly comfortable talking about with them.

I started to consume many drugs, came to a point where I considered suicide. Suddenly became a very negative person. I've started to take it easy with drugs, I really just need to run away from all this. I feel as if I simply need a life change.

I really don't know what to do, i'm very exhausted with my situation. I honestly doubt any of you will be able to help either, but worth a shot.

 

Hey castaway, if you want to vent to someone my Skype's always there; live:r0ary

Firstly, I presume you're late teens/early twenties? If so, then you're probably experiencing what most people, myself included are. I for one have zero clue what I'll end up doing because I keep swaying on what I want to do. It's totally normal and you'll find something in time.

If you're worried about cash then go to college and get a qualification in something like plumbing, electrician, joiner etc. (only takes 2 years-ish) and you can make a more-than-decent living as well as continuing to further your academics and find something for the future.

About professional help, it does what it says on the tin; helps. There's a far fetched quote I once came across but it gets the message across:

There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.

Don't not get help because of what your family will think, I'm sure they all want the best for your mental well-being and general health. Nobody even needs to know!

Good luck!

 

[Kiki908]

If you need help then the first place you will look is your family I'm sure they will be supportive if not them come to me I'll happily help you out and as for the job If your currently studying and it's part time get a low paid job I work in a takeaway and get paid lower than minimum wage and I go to college it isn'tuch money but it is still something + you won't be doin it forever when you get the qualifications from studying I hope I helped pm me if you need to talk

 

[l0llyp0pst3r]

I really feel you should talk to your family about your problems as ultimately no matter what they say or u might think, they will always love you. Also I feel that its good that your trying to build up your education as it will definitely help you in the future. My advice would be to stay away from drugs as to me its just gonna do you more harm. Spending time with friends and family will ultimately make your day better. I wish you all the best in finding the right path man and don't be so disappointed

 

[Ow 3 Hit]

Hey, it's very apparent you're lonely. What we seek in life is companionship, to feel accepted. I understand it's hard to find someone you can open up too, my advice is to go outside with a smile. Talk to random stranger, even if it's awkward they'll find it funny. You'll have something to think about, perhaps you'll find some new company.

Stop worrying about work, just go with the flow. An opportunities can happen at any moment, but the only time you can get one is by talking to strangers. Understand we're all fighting a silent battle, and it's okay to share yours. It's what cleanses you.

If you need someone to talk to, my Skype is Ow3Hit. I've talked many through this experience, it's a struggle buddy. But it's a lot easier to overcome it then you think.

Just know you're cared about, and if you choose to not contact me. Good luck, friend.

 

[Loyal 2 da game]

i get that money is tight for you, but if you ever manage to save up some cash, i think you'd benefit from doing some travelling, doing all the shit where you try to find yourself... who knows, maybe you'll meet someone along the way, or discover something you'd be interested in doing as a career, or whatever... might be worth a shot, homie

 

[Dragon Balls]

Here's my suggestion and I'm just going to be a straight shooter.

Get rid of the drugs, (I don't care if it's weed but it doesn't mean I do it). I have friends and an family member who is a drug addict. I hate them and they make the stupidest decision in the world. Seriously.

You don't like the job you can easily get into? I am also currently unemployed because I got laid off and I would do a lot of things to get a job right now. I have bills to pay and I need to feed myself and family. I suggest you find a job in that field you say you can easily get into and at least save some money. After you have money, you can easily get out of that shit-hole that your in and work on the stuff you want to do.

I don't really know you well so I can't say much but those are my suggestions. If you need more advice, feel free to ask. Good luck to you.

 

[tehdalo]

First of all, you should stop doing drugs altogether. (I know from experience it will just lead you deeper into depression and self-loathing)

You should try to find a job in something you like. Even if you think you'd hate it, you might be surprised. You could be happy doing something that you'd never think. Also, you could meet new people. Maybe try going to the gym and taking classes. That is always a good way to meet people (minus your financial situation). If you're in school, then just start trying to make friends with people. I for one used to be very self-concious, and I never really talked to anyone. Now I find that most people aren't going to judge you for no reason, so talking to people wouldn't hurt.

When it comes down to it, go to your family. Your parents will most likely always try to understand and help you. Trust me, they are always looking out for your well-being.

My last piece of advice is to find a hobby. I suggest trying to learn to play an instrument or start drawing or painting. If you can get enough money together, you can take lessons and meet people that way. I like to play the guitar. It helps when you are not feeling well to play music and learn new things. Just be patient.

Add my skype if you would like to talk sometime (it's in my signature)
Best of luck

 

[Castaway.]

Thanks to everyone for your replies. I didn't expect this many people to reply.

It's nice to know that there's people out there that at least seem to care about some complete random strangers problems. I might add a few of you to talk, i'm just afraid of being judged and whatnot.

I've slowly stopped consuming drugs and I have no other choice but to start looking for a new job, so time to hit the road and go to some interviews.

It saddens me a bit, I really don't want to do this but i'm running out of options. I'm hoping maybe when I actually see the places I might like them a bit and feel a little enthusiastic about it, but as of now at least i'm still somewhat unhappy.

I hide it a lot, I don't think anyone knows what really goes on with me or how I feel. My family even usually considers me to be 'stone hearted', since when shit goes down or problems happen I usually just keep it cool and it really seems as if I have no emotions towards the situations. But in reality, of course I do, I simply hide them, suck it up and move on.

However i've come to the point where i'm exhausted of doing this. I'm really just tired. I've lost the one person I felt comfortable talking with and I don't blame them for doing so. I feel lonely, but it's a feeling i'm used to.

I don't have much time to write more right now since I actually have to go to an interview, but i'll likely do so later. Thanks once again everyone that has tried showing some support towards me. It really does mean a lot to me.

 

[Castaway.]

So I went to that job interview and it actually went pretty good. I wasn't really afraid that it would go wrong, I don't really have much of a difficulty talking with people. It's really easy for me, yet somehow I don't manage to make that many new friendships. I guess I do make new 'friends', but that is exactly the problem. The fact that I can only seem to find 'friends' who're only there when you're doing good, then when you need them they all disappear.

Anyways, the guy who interviewed me said I pretty much have a guaranteed job there, I just need to take some papers that they need to like create my 'profile' in the company and then they can locate me in a specific account and get into training.

I don't really want to go, the idea of such a change excites me and worries me at the same time. It could be a nice change for me, new environment, new people, well pretty much new everything. But I don't really want to get back into a company of this kind, it's really mentally exhausting. I'm afraid I won't like it or won't be able to do it, and i'll end up quitting in a month or two and being back at square one and there's no time to waste. Time is running and everyday I have less money than the day before.

I'm unsure as to what should I do. There's a possibility for an easy way out, there would still be some work involved but its a rather unorthodox way of generating an income. It would be a morally incorrect thing to do, but it would be a way out. It is a possibility, just as the other job is, but I don't know what should I do.

I read this article (don't know where it was else I would link) that discussed the effects of stress on people. I think maybe that's what's wrong with me, perhaps i've been too stressed, overly worried about things that I should just go along with maybe. I tend to analyze everything very meticulously, somewhat of a perfectionist so I must know that everything will work the way I have planned for it to go.

Of course that's not the case and things don't particularly work the way I wanted them to, and maybe that is triggering more stress, worries and concerns that just keep going around my mind making me feel, well the way I do. I had to start working relatively young and stood up for the family, so maybe i've been building up on stress that hasn't been released in a while.

I feel like i've started to become so negative. I just don't see the bright in the bad anymore. I used to play music a lot, was a nice way for me to relax and release some stress, however I haven't been able to afford lessons in the longest time, so I haven't played for quite a while. I'd really like to get back in lessons, I simply forget about everything when I play.

Perhaps, traveling as someone mentioned would be a good idea. Might move to the beach and get a job there. Maybe I should just go with the more safe job, or go with the morally incorrect option.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. So many options but I don't know what to do. Which is the path that would take me to what I truly want? For that matter, what do I even want?

Well i'll continue writing later, I don't know if anyone is even reading this but at least it's some sort of log for me to see the way i've felt the last few days.

Thanks again to those that have tried to help.

 

[Serenade]

Thanks to everyone for your replies. I didn't expect this many people to reply.

It's nice to know that there's people out there that at least seem to care about some complete random strangers problems. I might add a few of you to talk, i'm just afraid of being judged and whatnot.

I've slowly stopped consuming drugs and I have no other choice but to start looking for a new job, so time to hit the road and go to some interviews.

It saddens me a bit, I really don't want to do this but i'm running out of options. I'm hoping maybe when I actually see the places I might like them a bit and feel a little enthusiastic about it, but as of now at least i'm still somewhat unhappy.

I hide it a lot, I don't think anyone knows what really goes on with me or how I feel. My family even usually considers me to be 'stone hearted', since when shit goes down or problems happen I usually just keep it cool and it really seems as if I have no emotions towards the situations. But in reality, of course I do, I simply hide them, suck it up and move on.

However i've come to the point where i'm exhausted of doing this. I'm really just tired. I've lost the one person I felt comfortable talking with and I don't blame them for doing so. I feel lonely, but it's a feeling i'm used to.

I don't have much time to write more right now since I actually have to go to an interview, but i'll likely do so later. Thanks once again everyone that has tried showing some support towards me. It really does mean a lot to me.

How have your interviews been going? And I really understand what you mean about needing a fresh start, I feel the same way, the only problem is that everything is this world starts with money. I can also relate to that exhaustion of living life trying to hide how you feel, it feels so unnatural to try to be someone different on the outside than you are on the inside...
It sounds like you're definitely taking some steps forward, and trust me, it does get better!

As many others have offered, if you want to talk; my skype: tuquickk

 

[Castaway.]

How have your interviews been going? And I really understand what you mean about needing a fresh start, I feel the same way, the only problem is that everything is this world starts with money. I can also relate to that exhaustion of living life trying to hide how you feel, it feels so unnatural to try to be someone different on the outside than you are on the inside...
It sounds like you're definitely taking some steps forward, and trust me, it does get better!

As many others have offered, if you want to talk; my skype: tuquickk

Yup, just as you say it would be nice indeed to have a fresh start but it will take some work to be able to do something like that. I personally had plans of moving to another country, but they seem a little foggy for now.

I've noticed how for some reason i've started to become so distant with every one I know. It's not something that I particularly want, it's just sorta happening. Even in class, I don't even talk to my class mates anymore. I go to night school, so it's not like it's regular class. But still, I think I should probably be a little more social but I just feel like I get nothing from doing so.

Recently felt very much betrayed by another person I considered close. It really sucks. Seems as if Murphy's law has come into effect with my life. Out of all the possibilities always the worse seem to become the outcome for me lately. I guess I really have to stop being such a negativist, there is some good in all this bad i'm just too worried thinking about the rest to bother looking at it. Man do vacations sound good, might hit a hotel for a few days. I guess I might as well enjoy my time while i'm unemployed.

It's weird, I feel so empty lately. It's just difficult to describe, i'm probably just losing my mind. I'll more than likely post again within the next couple of days. Thanks I guess to those who have been intrigued by my life and read this far through.

 

[Castaway.]

So I know it hasn't been long since my last post, and at least at the time of writing this, my last post hasn't even showed up yet, but something just recently happened and I thought it would be better if I wrote now with my emotions a little 'fresher' I guess.

At this point I feel like if it's game over. Out of everyone in the world, one person was left that I actually felt I could trust and was comfortable talking with. Now that person seems to be gone as well. I recently found out things that I would have been better off not knowing. Feel somewhat betrayed, very upset but mostly just sad. I'm sad because the one person that I felt I could still talk to is gone now, or so it seems. Perhaps that's just the way I see it now, but i'm just very saddened about the situation right now. I really cared a lot for this person, and it was just something I didn't expect to happen. Honestly just rather not even thinking much about it, just get more upset and more depressed.

I don't really know what's wrong with me. I seem to desire some social interaction, I would really enjoy being able to open up with someone about many things, however I don't seem to want to give anyone a chance or open up with anyone at all. I don't really go out as much anymore, don't hang out with my friends as I used to. Don't really talk to many people everyday, and when I have a chance to talk with new/different people (eg. class), I just seem to get away from the crowd and stay in a corner not talking with anyone until I can leave.

I feel very lonely, somewhat desperate for a change. Want to just cry out for help but i've no idea where or to who to cry help for. I think it's a little sad that i've recurred to the internet for some sort of 'emotional motivation', but I really just don't know what else to do. At least I get to type things off my chest and into these posts, if anyone finds them entertaining at all.

Well i'm having some problems organizing my thoughts right now, i'm probably just still slightly altered from the whole ordeal today. I'll simply wrap it up here and go to bed, more than likely will post again soon. Thanks again.