What would you do?

Picture this. You're at the airport. Big Bubba is staring you down in his airport officer uniform. He's at the scanner. You're in line, and he's scanning other people, but he's looking at you. He wants you. He's looking forward to it.

Meanwhile you have a tin of cat food that you wanted to snack on on the plane. You can't bring meats through. Your sweet sweet Fancy Feast™ is Beef Flavour Feast in Gravy. Big Bubba smells it. He wants to throw you in to jail, but not before getting some of your beef.

You need to protect the Feast. You need to protect the beef.

Do you:
A. Stick cat food tin length-wise into your butt hole
B. Stick cat food tin width-wise into your butt hole
C. Convince Big Bubba that he can store his Bubba Sausage™ in your butt hole
D. Trade Big Bubba: Your virginity for safe passage.
E. You think you're better than Big Bubba and will try your luck at the scanner, even though his bowling ball eyes are giving you the ol' once over. He's mentally stripping you down already. Forget about random screenings. He's on you like a fly on shit.
F. Eat the whole can of Fancy Feast™, can included, and hope your esophagus won't get lacerated by either Big Bubba's fat Bubba Sausage™ or the aluminium can.

Here's what's at stake:

 

option D i love a good ass fucking and having my asshole torn apart

 

F

 

wow brother this is a PG-13 thread

 

sorry I cant wait for his giant 15 inch long 4 inch wide toy train set to rail me in my poopoo hole

 

D, easy next question

 

What a horrible day to be literate

 

Gunna be honest with ya bro. Not sure what any of that meant.

 

Hahaha

 

rape them

 

here I was thinking that you could read this whole time
guess not

 

C. Always C