I will explain it as shortly as I can. Well, all started when we met up, a friend of her just talked about me and she liked me so we started chatting and in the first 5 minutes we were laughing our asses off. L8 that day she decided to add me to facebook so we could start "knowing eachother". After that, we've been chatting for like months and months but the problem was and it IS that we have no money. I am 19 years old and she's 17 now. After 9 months of chatting and living "together" we were able to chat every single day and we started "something" called "long distance relationship" which means shit because you have nothing. I couldn't hug her, sometimes she was crying about why is so hard to not meet eachother up even a signle time, a single day. We were struggling so much. She had problems with other boys, some of them told her stupid things which made me mad and so irritating that the same day she told me that i was in rage and I wouldn't really mind to kill these kind of motherfuckers if I would have the chance to. I can't really tell you guys what happened but you can imagine it by yourselves. It's not just "simple words" it's more than that. I've been struggling along with my "depressions" without letting her know that I was bad since she would think that it's her fault. Some days she was like "I know that you are angry because of what happened to me". I started to tell her that it wasn't that and so on... We're so far. Even now, I was in Canada and she is in Russia, now I am in Spain but i'm just in holidays. My life is kinda shit, sometimes I imagine that someone is talking to her and she can't deffend herself. She usually says that it isn't her fault but whatsoever, I feel mad anyways because pretend like someone is just trying to "talk" to your girlfriend/wife. Wouldn't you just take his fucking head and kick his ass? Some of you are going to be like "oooh, thats normal" but the worse shit is that she's not strong. She's allways crying because we're far away. We did met up in june though, a fantastic week, priceless, i can't even describe it. But as for now, the same bullshit continues and i'm still struggling, thinking and just imagining what is she doing or who is going to talk to her. I don't know what to do, we're just arguing the whole days and I feel bad with myself and my life. Sometimes i don't even want to talk to nobody and I feel alone. I don't know what am I supposed to do, we do have plans though. I want to move to Russia this december so I can live with her but its still summer... I love her... I don't know why am I even posting this here but I have no friends to tell this since i'm not in Canada or Russia. My bro is in army so i can't even talk to him. Barely I can talk to him through phone but that's it. Sometimes I just wanna quit with all and just disappear .. I'm not kidding at all, sometimes I just want to go somewhere where nobody would know me just to be able to forget all and start a new life without nobody.. I feel lonely...One day we did end up "cutting"... I called her whore, bitch and so on.. Sometimes I think about that and I did a huge mistake, I shouldn't even think about that but whenever you feel bad you don't think about what you're supposed to say. But the next day we did miss eachother and we did "forget" that shit and continued with this. I don't know. I'm confused.














