Sister got a DWI

kedonot1 · Feb 11, 2013

Well, I don't mean to blabber my business out there, but...
My sister who is 22, recently got arrested and a DWI, this Sunday at 8am in the morning. Shes total idiotic, and my parents think shes alcoholic now.

She's really smart, she's had high honor roll, and all her grades were 90+ her whole high-school year, and currently on her last year of Biomedical Sciences at a University (Which is a expensive university)...

Now, my parents can't bail her out because they don't have the money for it..As my dad is paying $33,000 a year for a Mortgage, and paying two village taxes (He has to pay two villages taxes, which is $10,000 a year (5k a piece) due to us living between two towns...)

Absolutely crazy.. I've hated my sister for the longest time, which is wrong..but she has ruined my life with her selfishness. She's really disgusting, and goes from one guy to another..and does stuff with them, and goes to the bar all the time.

She constantly asks my parents for money, when she has a job..and tells my parents that she doesn't make enough..However, she can afford to go to Canada, New York City, and Las Vegas with no problems. She constantly buys Wine, and goes clubbin' and to bars..

My dad is paying for her college loans, and she's probably gonna get kicked out. And again, she's on her last year...of college (4-years)!

My question is: How would you react if one of your brothers or sisters got arrested for a DWI? And can you relate, or any of your siblings relate to this behavior?

Lmao, sorry for telling a life denial thing right here, I don't really need 'support' just need some opinions.. I say she's very selfish and disgusting, and she doesn't relate to anything in my family, which we come from a middle-class family..and I'm completely embarrassed to have her as a sister.

Elena · Feb 11, 2013

Honestly, I would be upset if any of my family members got a DUI. My aunt my uncle, wouldn't matter and I think that maybe she is just going through a rough time and that you need to be there and support her she is your family.

kedonot1 · Feb 11, 2013

Elena said:
Honestly, I would be upset if any of my family members got a DUI. My aunt my uncle, wouldn't matter and I think that maybe she is just going through a rough time and that you need to be there and support her she is your family.

I agree, I kinda do feel bad for her. I can't imagine what she's going through right now, specially with the amount of perverts there. I really hope she'll grow up and learn, but it's gonna be really unfortunate if she gets kicked out of college.

djweasel · Feb 13, 2013

Well I've never gotten a DWI/DUI but know alot of people who did. She'll go to court, and they will release her after that. Bail shouldn't even be much if it was a first time. 10% of what the bail is....like $100 if it's $1000 bail.

I drove home the other night shitfaced, and I know it was stupid but you do dumb things when you're drunk.

My gf had a DUI a few years back, lost her license, and a bunch of fines and some jail time I think due to other warrants in Ohio.

Dimethyl · Feb 13, 2013

I can very much relate to you, but I also don't agree with how you see things. What she's done is no reason to hate her. I find it hard to understand how you can ever feel that way about your own sister unless she's done something extremely serious to you. Out of curiosity, how exactly did she ruin your life with her selfishness? Maybe you're leaving some stuff out, but I don't see how her drinking and clubbing could be affecting you all that much.

My sister is 26 and got her second DUI almost a year ago. Her court date is coming up and she'll have to do 30 days in jail along with losing her license for 2-3 years. She also used to sleep around a lot, which is of course always irritating when it's your sister. She does a lot of stuff that I disagree with, but she's also one of the most important people in my life and I would never turn my back on her. I've told her how I feel about things she does and I've gotten her to see things clearly many times before. You need to try to do the same. Even if you can't help by talking to her, you still shouldn't just give up on her. My sister does some dumb shit sometimes, but so do I. She still has it very together for the most part. She's in grad school, works very hard in both her job and school work, and is a very kind and likable person. It sounds like your sister has things together for the most part too, but just parties a bit too much. Not like that's uncommon though considering she is 22 years old. She most likely isn't going to be acting this bad for that much longer. People tend to usually settle down a bit more after they graduate. My sister used to be a serious alcoholic, but now has things pretty under control. She also quit sleeping with so many guys and partying so much the last couple years. Yes she did get another DUI, which was very stupid, but she doesn't deserve to be disowned for it. She's dealing with the consequences and will be for the next several years. You'd also be surprised how easy it can be to get a DUI. You don't have to be drunk either. My sister is tiny and while she can drink a very large amount for her size, her BAC also skyrockets more than anyone I've ever known, especially if she doesn't eat before drinking. It also takes her 2-3 times longer for it to get out of her system than it should. That doesn't excuse getting a DUI, but just means that people need to be aware of how their body handles alcohol. You should get your sister to get a breathalyzer, so she can check if she's over the legal limit before she drives. If she's smart, then she will want to use it. If this is her first run in with the law, then this might be a good wake up call for her. The whole experience for some people is enough not to want to do it again, especially the money. This will cost her around a couple grand in the end and nearly twice that if she gets a lawyer. A DUI isn't taken likely and will probably be 6-12 probation, depending on where you live, which will either straighten her up some or hurt her bad. If she's the kind of person who can't control herself when she's drunk and will drive either way, then there are also breathalyzers that hook up to your car. You blow into it and it locks up your car if reads anything. Some companies charge a fee each time the car locks up along with a monthly fee. If your parents are helping her pay anything for school, insurance, whatever, then get them to make her buy one or take her car. Cheaper than getting another DUI.

I don't know how old you are, but I don't think you see things as realistically as you should. You need to realize that your sister is at a dangerous age. Just because you don't do a lot of the same things she does doesn't mean it's not normal for a lot of people, especially at her age. Even if you don't drink and party now, doesn't mean you won't when you're older. A lot of people aren't exposed to drugs and alcohol until college and a lot of people get out of control because of that. People should be able to drink without doing stupid shit. If not, then they need to avoid it. Your family should stay by your sister and help her learn from her mistakes. Abandoning her is the absolute worst thing you can do right now. Yeah, sometimes turning your back on someone you care about is all you can do if they are at rock bottom, but not in this situation. There is still plenty of hope for her and she is right at finishing her last year of school. If she lost that along with her family, then she is just going to go downhill. She's also about to face a financial burden for this DUI. She's going to get probation, fines, classes, etc and if she can't deal with things with the money she makes now, then she certainly won't be able to when she's paying for all this. Missing a probation visit or a fine will only get a warrant issued for her arrest and she'll just end up going in and out of jail. This kind of shit follows you for a long time. If you mess up in any way while on probation, then it's just going to get harder and take longer to get rid of. When you can't pay your fines, then it's not hard to get a warrant and then you can't get a job. That is not a situation that you want your sister to be in if it can at all be avoided.

And someone really needs to bail her out of jail if at all possible. Keeping her inside for too long is not the thing to do, especially if it's going to get her kicked out of school. If this is her first offense, then her bail shouldn't be more than a few hundred dollars. If she has a job, then she can just pay it back later.

kedonot1 · Feb 14, 2013

djweasel said:
Well I've never gotten a DWI/DUI but know alot of people who did. She'll go to court, and they will release her after that. Bail shouldn't even be much if it was a first time. 10% of what the bail is....like $100 if it's $1000 bail.

I drove home the other night shitfaced, and I know it was stupid but you do dumb things when you're drunk.

My gf had a DUI a few years back, lost her license, and a bunch of fines and some jail time I think due to other warrants in Ohio.

Hey DJweasel! Thanks for this information, she was released..Her arm is sprained though because when the cop arrested her.

kedonot1 · Feb 14, 2013

Dimethyl said:
I can very much relate to you, but I also don't agree with how you see things. What she's done is no reason to hate her. I find it hard to understand how you can ever feel that way about your own sister unless she's done something extremely serious to you. Out of curiosity, how exactly did she ruin your life with her selfishness? Maybe you're leaving some stuff out, but I don't see how her drinking and clubbing could be affecting you all that much.

My sister is 26 and got her second DUI almost a year ago. Her court date is coming up and she'll have to do 30 days in jail along with losing her license for 2-3 years. She also used to sleep around a lot, which is of course always irritating when it's your sister. She does a lot of stuff that I disagree with, but she's also one of the most important people in my life and I would never turn my back on her. I've told her how I feel about things she does and I've gotten her to see things clearly many times before. You need to try to do the same. Even if you can't help by talking to her, you still shouldn't just give up on her. My sister does some dumb shit sometimes, but so do I. She still has it very together for the most part. She's in grad school, works very hard in both her job and school work, and is a very kind and likable person. It sounds like your sister has things together for the most part too, but just parties a bit too much. Not like that's uncommon though considering she is 22 years old. She most likely isn't going to be acting this bad for that much longer. People tend to usually settle down a bit more after they graduate. My sister used to be a serious alcoholic, but now has things pretty under control. She also quit sleeping with so many guys and partying so much the last couple years. Yes she did get another DUI, which was very stupid, but she doesn't deserve to be disowned for it. She's dealing with the consequences and will be for the next several years. You'd also be surprised how easy it can be to get a DUI. You don't have to be drunk either. My sister is tiny and while she can drink a very large amount for her size, her BAC also skyrockets more than anyone I've ever known, especially if she doesn't eat before drinking. It also takes her 2-3 times longer for it to get out of her system than it should. That doesn't excuse getting a DUI, but just means that people need to be aware of how their body handles alcohol. You should get your sister to get a breathalyzer, so she can check if she's over the legal limit before she drives. If she's smart, then she will want to use it. If this is her first run in with the law, then this might be a good wake up call for her. The whole experience for some people is enough not to want to do it again, especially the money. This will cost her around a couple grand in the end and nearly twice that if she gets a lawyer. A DUI isn't taken likely and will probably be 6-12 probation, depending on where you live, which will either straighten her up some or hurt her bad. If she's the kind of person who can't control herself when she's drunk and will drive either way, then there are also breathalyzers that hook up to your car. You blow into it and it locks up your car if reads anything. Some companies charge a fee each time the car locks up along with a monthly fee. If your parents are helping her pay anything for school, insurance, whatever, then get them to make her buy one or take her car. Cheaper than getting another DUI.

I don't know how old you are, but I don't think you see things as realistically as you should. You need to realize that your sister is at a dangerous age. Just because you don't do a lot of the same things she does doesn't mean it's not normal for a lot of people, especially at her age. Even if you don't drink and party now, doesn't mean you won't when you're older. A lot of people aren't exposed to drugs and alcohol until college and a lot of people get out of control because of that. People should be able to drink without doing stupid shit. If not, then they need to avoid it. Your family should stay by your sister and help her learn from her mistakes. Abandoning her is the absolute worst thing you can do right now. Yeah, sometimes turning your back on someone you care about is all you can do if they are at rock bottom, but not in this situation. There is still plenty of hope for her and she is right at finishing her last year of school. If she lost that along with her family, then she is just going to go downhill. She's also about to face a financial burden for this DUI. She's going to get probation, fines, classes, etc and if she can't deal with things with the money she makes now, then she certainly won't be able to when she's paying for all this. Missing a probation visit or a fine will only get a warrant issued for her arrest and she'll just end up going in and out of jail. This kind of shit follows you for a long time. If you mess up in any way while on probation, then it's just going to get harder and take longer to get rid of. When you can't pay your fines, then it's not hard to get a warrant and then you can't get a job. That is not a situation that you want your sister to be in if it can at all be avoided.

And someone really needs to bail her out of jail if at all possible. Keeping her inside for too long is not the thing to do, especially if it's going to get her kicked out of school. If this is her first offense, then her bail shouldn't be more than a few hundred dollars. If she has a job, then she can just pay it back later.

Wow, this means a lot! Thanks for writing this out, I actually changed how I thought about her now. I also learned a lot, and thank you so much for doing this! I'm gonna keep looking at this in the future, too. Thanks again