Should I ask her out again?

[Unregistered coolperson]

Okay, so, last year around Xmas I asked this girl out that I was 100% sure liked me. She said no, but that we should chill more. We did, and by March, I asked her out again. Each time I had very good reason to believe she'd say yes, since I'm the only guy she ever talks to and she flirts with me all the time.

Anyway. Second time she said yes, went out on 6 dates, but nothing really happened. I confronted her and asked her if she actually did like me because the thing we had felt a bit one sided, and she said she did (this was through a text so that she wouldn't feel pressured through confrontation), but then 2 dates later (after the 6th) she said we shouldn't go out anymore because she didn't actually like me and she was just giving me a chance. She said she'd have felt bad if she said no a second time.

I know I've been severely friendzoned: we don't hang out much, but we chat everyday for at least 1.5 hours on FB/Skype/MSN. She tells me how she's lonely and stuff which is not something she used to tell me when we were going out (I'm the only guy who ever went out with her) so I'm starting to think that maybe she wants me to ask her out again. I'm thinking that maybe she wasn't ready when we did last year, or maybe it was the pressure of getting to like someone a lot to go to prom with. That's all over and done, so maybe she's looking to go out again...I don't know.

What do you guys think? If I ask her out again I risk destroying our little meaningless internet friendship that I actually kinda like...But if I don't ask her out again and she actually does like me, she'll move on to some other guy and I'll get heartbroken.

tl;dr how do I get out of the friendzone with a girl I used to date

 

[thatguy1234]

i dont think you should keep chasing her. If youre the first guy she's went with then it seems she's pretty green and doesnt know much about dating. Just relax around her and be yourself thats the most important thing, if its meant to be then she'll come to you.

Remember, most girls love attention and they have CRAZY emotions so dont take to heart everything that happens between you two. just be who you are and dont focus so much on getting together with her, treat her as just a friend and try not to follow through the conversation if she keeps bringing up being lonely and pitying herself, she most likely wants attention.

If i was in your situation i wouldnt ask her out again. Just be there for her, not smother her but be in the middle and just talk to her everyday.

Again she's new to the scene and probably doesnt know much about the rights and wrongs. But remember to be real and be yourself 100% of the time, dont bend to her will and be the man in the situation. Oh and lastly girls love to laugh and have fun, so if you can mix that in somewhere you'll do great.

 

[BeeVer]

Try going out with her as just friends and show her what a great guy you are.

 

[Annex]

Well long story short, Its fucking difficult as fuck to get out of the friend zone with someone you have already previously dated. Its not impossible, but its fairly hard especially if you caved into any boundaries you set (Ie don't call/text past a certain time unless its an emergency and she randomly calls to talk past then).

In order to convince her that you are worth something again you need to convince her that you don't care if you are ever together again. In order to do that you need to really not care. If she really likes you and she is convinced you don't care, the thought of losing you will be unbearable for her and she will give off fairly obvious signals she is interested in seeing you again. The catch here is though that you need to actually change otherwise it will probably be another 6 dates and done.

The things you should really avoid doing in a relationship with a woman are:
Caving in to boundaries (this will cause women to lose respect for you since they know they can walk all over you)
Becoming to clingy (Women instinctively look for their man to guide them and being clingy shows insecurity which is a weakness).
You should never feel like you need to be with this girl. Always be ready to walk away if you aren't getting what you want out of it.

Those are some basic general tips for you good luck.

 

[danielhead]

My advice, date someone else for awhile, you make think she is 100% perfect but there are many other people out there, then later you can come back and ask her out.

 

[lunchboxx321]

Okay, so, last year around Xmas I asked this girl out that I was 100% sure liked me. She said no, but that we should chill more. We did, and by March, I asked her out again. Each time I had very good reason to believe she'd say yes, since I'm the only guy she ever talks to and she flirts with me all the time.

Anyway. Second time she said yes, went out on 6 dates, but nothing really happened. I confronted her and asked her if she actually did like me because the thing we had felt a bit one sided, and she said she did (this was through a text so that she wouldn't feel pressured through confrontation), but then 2 dates later (after the 6th) she said we shouldn't go out anymore because she didn't actually like me and she was just giving me a chance. She said she'd have felt bad if she said no a second time.

I know I've been severely friendzoned: we don't hang out much, but we chat everyday for at least 1.5 hours on FB/Skype/MSN. She tells me how she's lonely and stuff which is not something she used to tell me when we were going out (I'm the only guy who ever went out with her) so I'm starting to think that maybe she wants me to ask her out again. I'm thinking that maybe she wasn't ready when we did last year, or maybe it was the pressure of getting to like someone a lot to go to prom with. That's all over and done, so maybe she's looking to go out again...I don't know.

What do you guys think? If I ask her out again I risk destroying our little meaningless internet friendship that I actually kinda like...But if I don't ask her out again and she actually does like me, she'll move on to some other guy and I'll get heartbroken.

tl;dr how do I get out of the friendzone with a girl I used to date

the friendzone is basically a bottomless hole...once ur in its almost impossible to get out...however if ur not afraid to ruin a friendship then not much harm can come from trying to ask her out again...

 

[N01s PeRfecT]

Ignore the last 4-5 posts.

The 'friend-zone' is an imaginary idea/term used to describe a girl that a guy doesn't have the balls to go for. If you see this girl as more than a friend, you're either always going to see her that way, or after being rejected enough times, you'll begin to not care about her and not be bothered at losing the friendship because of the history between you two.

If she's really that cool of a girl, then it's worth persuing her. You don't ever want to have that feeling of 'the-one-who-got-away'. From personal experience, I can promise you that it's easier to lose the "meaningless internet friendship" than it is to see someone that you like/care for/love with someone that isn't you.

I know that was a lot of long sentences, and jumbled up words, but if I can summarize everything into one sentence...

GO FOR IT.

EDIT: It wouldn't hurt to change your tactics though.

 

[Isellrunescapestuff]

Once your in friend zone.. always in friend zone