I can personally say I've been through more shit than you, never have I once contemplated suicide, I have almost gone the wrong road in life to a bad future, but never suicide. What you're telling us is that you're weak mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. I suggest living life and mature up a bit, show everyone that you're a strong person, and that you can succeed even though you have many obstacles in your life. I'm sorry I came out a bit strong with my post, but everyone needs their wake up call sometime in their life, I'm just trying to help you out. If you're mature and smart, you will take my advice and continue living your life.