Scars, scars, and more scars

[Joker91]

I'm not sure of the exact reason I'm posting this, I guess I felt the need to share, which I seem to do best with people I don't see every day. So, here goes:

Last year on February 4th I had a very bad car accident. Black ice caused me to flip my car and my seat broke, letting me loose. The upper half of my body went through the sunroof, and the car rolled on top of me, then proceeded to drag me down the highway. I broke two ribs, fractured my leg, de-gloved my face, and suffered a traumatic brain injury.

Life flight wouldn't come to get me because of bad weather, but luckily a few men stopped to lift the car off of me, one of them being an off-duty paramedic who had served in the Army. He called the local paramedics to get me transportation. Once they got me into the squad, my heart stopped and I was medically dead. But, he didn't give up just yet. He gave me a tracheotomy in the back of the squad and bagged the blood out of my lungs, bringing me back.

I woke up from a coma nine days later, after my family being told I probably wouldn't make it, and if I did, I'd be mentally retarded. As you can see, they were wrong, thankfully. I'm on my way to recovering and doing much better now.

I'm eternally grateful for having my life, and especially to the man who made this possible. However, my scars and swelling have me extremely depressed and I've lost all confidence. How do I cope? Do you think I can still have a successful relationship looking like this? I'm very confused and hopeless.

If you would like, here are some pictures of my face/neck from not long ago. I really hate the way I am now.

http://s775.photobucket.com/albums/yy39/Phillip91/February 4 2010/

 

Hell yeh you can have a relationship, girls always go for the confident type that always make them laugh, all you have to do is wait for your confidence to build again and you'll be back on your feet in no time.

 

[orang3d]

Obvcourse you will man!

Just stay positive and it will happen!

 

[Joker91]

The swelling has decreased drastically since those pictures, but it's still there. I think I mostly just needed somewhere to vent my frustration and depression without being berated. I guess I need to just accept the new me and move on. The problem is learning to do that..

 

All you need is time bud, I wouldn't expect someone to have a huge accident and then just forget about it.

 

[orang3d]

Being able to talk about it is a huge step. Just make sure you dont keep all your frustration inside you! Just keep talking to people

 

[Joker91]

Not to be cliche', but I already feel a lot better. Thank you.

 

[Pakistani]

Well my mum had scars on her stomach from operations. She used this product called "scar repairex" It worked like a treat and now you can barely see the scars.

However looks really don't matter as much as you think. If you have an attractive personality and are generally a good guy I dont see why u couldn't get a gf.

 

[onebigpackage]

Alot of girls look for "Husband material" if you regain your confidence they will see that a life changing event didn't effect your personality and confidence.They will respect you for it.

 

[Relevance]

The swelling has decreased drastically since those pictures, but it's still there. I think I mostly just needed somewhere to vent my frustration and depression without being berated. I guess I need to just accept the new me and move on. The problem is learning to do that..

It will continue to get better. As my stats teacher crudely pointed out, car accident survivors aren't lucky at all - they are merely fortunate given a rather unlucky situation.

My suggestion is to wait a few months, and apply some of the anti-scar creams (although I'm skeptical of their efficacy myself). I don't think these scars will ultimately go away - but as someone who had some bad burns (thankfully in less visible areas), I know a few years will make a big difference.

 

[Snow Patrol]

Keep your chin up bud, build up your self esteem because honestly most girls look for personality over good looks. If you're genuinely a good person with oozing with confidence you'll have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to getting a girl.

 

[Joker91]

I never expect the scars to go away fully, I'll have to learn to live with them. I'm mostly worried about how others view me, relationships, and more than anything, work. I know that these will likely interfere with job options.

 

[qpwoeiruty]

I never expect the scars to go away fully, I'll have to learn to live with them. I'm mostly worried about how others view me, relationships, and more than anything, work. I know that these will likely interfere with job options.

What others think at first thought is irrelevent. If your swelling has decreased, I doubt there will be any major problems with work and job options.

 

[IarianI]

If your swelling decreases, its actually getting on the better side for you , you know women think scars are sexy

not at your state on the pic but if the swelling stops im pretty sure you got a win there bro! head up!^^

 

[I Got Munnyz]

Lot of girls look for nice,funny,caring guy. They won't care for your face if you are all of that. Trust me bro and those scars are not that bad looking

 

[master414]

Man, no matter how bad the scar is, you can get it fix, technology is improving all the time - around the world.

And it's not about looks, you don't look like a really ugly man, you look fine. A lot of relationships isn't about looks, you can easily find an ugly person with a "beautiful" person, two "ugly" people together, or maybe two "beautiful" people together. It's up to YOU. True confidence has never let me down, you can do it.

 

[Joker91]

Thank you for the confidence boost, everyone. I do look MUCH better recently, as those pictures aren't exactly recent. Well, the swelling is nearly gone anyway.

 

[Call me Mike]

First off, god bless ya man. You've gotta be a lot stronger than I am to just survive, let alone get through the healing process this far. In my opinion, if you've gotten this far, you can get through the rest without a problem. Time heals all wounds.

Of course you can be in a relationship! If you were in a good relationship where you both cared for each other before, there is no doubt in my mind you can't repeat that now.

 

[Runescape Buyer]

Wow - what a story! The human body is an amazing thing and is able to really reduce the appearance of scars naturally over time. There are ways that you can help your body along by keeping hydrated. With regard to getting a relationship - Of course you can have a successful relationship, keep strong, keep confident and you will find the perfect girl for sure

 

[Perros]

Hey mate, great story. I want you to know that honestly, you look fine. From what you've said and how you've maintained composure and happiness, I would not hesitate for a single moment to call you my best friend. Don't worry about the scars, between technology, the natural ways of the human body, and your personality you should have NO problems finding a relationship, job, or anything else you want. Just put your mind towards it, and set your sights high, and boy, you'll get there. Let me know if you need anything, pm me or add me on msn: [email protected]