Scared of the new year

[uselesspoop]

Weird, i never thought i will ever experience this. But i guess im feeling it right now, im scared of the coming new year. Basically im not the least prepared for it. The new challenges i'm about to face, school, major examinations.

My holidays has about 9 days to go before school re-opens. And that really sucks. Next year, i will be turning 16. That means the O levels. Basically it will determine which Junior College/Poly i will go to, and highly affects whether i will get a place in the university or not. Everyone wants to do well in this examination, not me though.

I'm just not prepared mentally for it. The days i have to stay back in school for extra lessons... The pile of homework i'm going to be facing... The disciplinary shit i'm going to face... Bleh, i'm just sick of it. My parents are really wanting me to do well. Mom has cried once already because i told her i seriously didn't want to actually take it. Dad is better, but too we all know that certs are the ones that determine what job your going to get, what pay you will be receiving, how fast you get your shitty promotions, etc.

In short, higher cert = better job = faster promotions = higher pay = better standard of living... I know that it is reality, but i am unwilling to follow it. I really do not want to take the examination next year but i know the amount of shit i will be facing if i don't. Furthermore, what am i going to do if i do not take the exam. I don't have any goal in mind yet, i don't want to take the 'examination' path... I don't want to fucking study things i'm not going to be using at all. I rather be learning useful skills or about real-life skills that i will actually be using. Not how to find an equation of a circle, not how to...

Im guessing im not mature enough to actually realise the importance of these examinations and 'skills' which i currently see as useless. It is going to be hard to convince myself too. In the past, i basically studied to prove to my parents i could actually do it and also because of the competitiveness in my country and school. Everyone around me is working hard to get results, and i followed suit. ( Peer pressure )

Once again, as i do not have a goal to work towards to , what can i actually do? Im in a total dilemma. Right now i want to relax for another 2 - 3 months, and am not prepared to go back to school, like seriously.

I can't take stress very well too and i was mainly brought up pretty pampered. I am trying my best to work better with stress now and be more independent.

Another problem im facing is : always wanting to be the best. From young, i pretty much enjoyed to do things i only am good at. I do fear failure in things i care about, alot. Because of this, combined with my inability to work with stress well, i give up alot when i'm not the best/one of the best at a certain thing. I really detest myself for it.

I really need some advise on what to do. Gosh, it is only 9 days left...=(

 

[Hawkmoon]

Well I'm 17, I'm in the first year of Sixth Form. I've already been through this year once but I moved to a different country and my new school put me back a year due to the different courses I was taking. I guess I could say I'm from the same sort of family as you - I was brought up fairly pampered and now as a result of that I begrudge having to do things for myself. I am also afraid of failure, I'm afraid of what my life will be like if I don't get into a decent university, and I'm afraid of letting my parents down after everything they've done for me, even paying so I could go to a private school.

It sucks, it really does. When I started Year 11 (I lived in Spain so I did IGCSEs which are harder) I had absolutely no idea what lay ahead of me. I avoided work where possible, I did NO revision, but either due to luck or some sort of natural intellect, I got top grades in all my exams.

But now I'm in Sixth Form, doing A Levels, it's clear to me that the work you have to put into your GCSEs is like pulling up a few weeds in the flowerbed, compared to cutting down every tree in a vast rainforest that is A Level work. I'm so fortunate to be able to take my first year of Sixth Form again, because the first time around I did exactly what I did at GCSE, but this time ended up with BCD, which wouldn't even be given a second look on a university application where the criteria states AAB or AAA.

But the second time around I know what I have to do. I think, once you've been through the fear and the stress, you automatically fall into a hard work mentality. It is possible that GCSE work just doesn't stimulate you enough, or maybe you just don't enjoy it. I'm now taking English, History and Sociology at A Level, compared to triple sciences at GCSE.

In short, you'll get through it. The stress is more to prepare you for A Levels than for GCSEs. There's plenty of time ahead of you - just enjoy what remains of your holidays. That's why you have them

 

[antman510]

I can't make many conclusions on yourself from reading this one thread, however your skill of grammar and english structure are quite good; pretty much meaning that you are right, you don't really need to sit these exams. I haven't yet faced this 'End of School Crisis' yet so I can't comment on my 'experiences' however you can take a 'Pre-Uni' course, but honestly even though you seem smart enough to get through life without taking these tests; a bad result is better than no result at all. So if you really wan't to cruise through them and recieve a 'bad' result, which i'm sure will actually be better than you think then that is much better than recieving no result at all.