Rushes of Depression?

I've been having this issue, I'm not emotional or anything, I'm actually one of those people that no matter what happens, I can always smile a second later and find the bright side in EVERYTHING and never show my anger of something else in public. My teachers including have asked me how I'm always happy everyday and never have an attitude. Anyways, with that, I have a question for someone with experience as to why I'm experiencing these "rush of depressions" as you may call it. Several times throughout the day I get this feeling of hopelessness or not amounting to anything in the future, etc. But, at the same time, I'm happy a moment later cause I find a bright side or a string of confidence that there is hope. I wouldn't label myself as bipolar cause I never lash out on anyone out of the blue and act happy the next moment, just what I feel deep inside. I'm 17, if that matters. It has been happening A LOT recently, possibly about several times every day.

Please, don't post any bullshit like "you're so young, you have a lot of time" this and that. It doesn't help anything, it just throws false hope to look forward to in the future.

 

"Even the people who never frown eventually break down".

How long have you been experiencing this? The way you describe it, it sounds like you feel miserable and hopeless one second and happy again the next, is that correct? Have you had any suicidal ideations? Are these rushes triggered or random?

Just trying to get a little more information before I try and give any advice.

 

Right, what Promethilim said. How do you view yourself (low self-esteem)? What's triggering these depression? School marks?

 

I've had suicidal thoughts but, I don't take them seriously because I'm not that type of person. I never harm myself, etc etc. I don't smoke weed or any of that stuff. As for school, I'm not the best student and I'm not the worst, I'm average. I can get into a University if I want to or if I just put a tiny little bit more focus I can.

 

What you described is probably a hormonal thing as you go through puberty. I recall having rushes like that, but you seem to already be fit to deal with them so I think you will be fine. Most people experience them in highschool, so I would just keep track of the episodes and as long as they aren't like every few hours for months I think its just a coming of age thing.