My First ever song pelase rate.

[Aye Pod]

What is my dream?
What is it that I want?
I want to make music
A type of music,


A type of music
Witch is a way to express how I feel
by writing it on paper
or typing it on a computer


I would turn it into a song
with lyrics of my life
mixed in with a beat
and produced with a label
then put on a shelf
for others to purchase
and listen to at home


What is my dream?
What is it that I want?
I want to make music
A type of music,

A type of music that
Some people call rap
Some may call it hip hop
But I call it life,
In my words
For your listening pleasure

What is my dream?
What is it that I want?
I want to make music
A type of music,

So that’s my dream,
that’s what I want.
Call me old fashioned
But that’s how it is.
And it’s not going to change
no matter whatever you say

What is my dream?
What is it that I want?
I want to make music

I just want to make music.











soo... that's my song. please rate it, tell me whats wrong, what i can change. thanks guys!

 

[baconpl0x]

no offense but this sounds more like a poem

 

[Redswellow]

your my hero

 

[Rune Shadow]

Nice lyrics but too many spelling mistakes...

 

[guitarman12]

yeah dude it kinda sounds like a poem...

 

[lacuna]

yea, that alright, but im sure if you kept it up, you'de get alot better =D lol

 

[joe hazley]

lol 1/7

 

[caseyscoolerthanu]

Don't sound like it would flow too well, sounds like it would go to somthing RandB like

2/7

 

[SCR3AM]

alright lyrics i guess, 6/10

 

[Albania]

I cried :')....DREAMS...

 

[Aye Pod]

lol.. it IS a poem. But I made it in almost no time at all to be honest. Not complete, any suggestions?

 

[Sorry Im F2P]

not enuf bars to make it a song / track w/e u wanna call it really.


for a poem seems ok, look thru and find like differents words to use in replacement.

when writing i always find long words that rhyme sound more impressive but not all do. personal opinion

 

[MC_Kraze]

this doesnt sound like a acually song but ye. kinda short

 

[raange pur3]

it doesnt rhyme?

 

[Hello my name is]

this was more of a poem, the style was written in poem format... but good piece

 

[jeckyll jeckyll hyde]

I you put a decent beat with it i'm sure it will be good, Gl with the music biz lol.

 

[JIM TIM JOHN]

We can't really tell because it doesn't rhyme... And if it doesn't rhyme we need a beat.

 

[Aye Pod]

this was more of a poem, the style was written in poem format... but good piece

yeah that was pretty much the whole idea

 

[Zypur]

Here's what I get from it:

and produced with a label
then put on a shelf
for others to purchase
and listen to at home

You want to sell out, and make lots of money.

What is my dream?
What is it that I want?
I want to make music

I just want to make music.

You want to make music regardless of fame and fortune.



Mixed messages. D:

 

[Classic Runescaper]

your my hero

hot damn he's banned this fucker scammed me w00t w00t i rate 4 stars its a good song