Is it sexual harassment?

PIT RAT · Jul 21, 2018

Amei said:
Try find a way to pass them a note with your number and a message asking if they want to meet up after work / the weekend. Better to do something like that where they don't have to think on the spot whilst also under the pressures of a working environment.

that'll work, I always thought that was a word thing to do.. But if you think it's ok I guess I'll go for it.

Pegasus · Jul 21, 2018

Not creepy at all! Some of us women just have a difficult time responding to compliments, but I am one hundred percent sure you made her day! Good on you!

Gen · Jul 21, 2018

Read their body language prior to complimenting. You’ll know if they’re uncomfortable or not. If they show signs of being uncomfortable, stop. Simple as that. Generic compliments such as “beautiful hair” wouldn’t be categorised as sexual harassment unless you’re still pushing for more after seeing signs of uneasiness.

PIT RAT · Jul 21, 2018

Gen said:
Read their body language prior to complimenting. You’ll know if they’re uncomfortable or not. If they show signs of being uncomfortable, stop. Simple as that. Generic compliments such as “beautiful hair” wouldn’t be categorised as sexual harassment unless you’re still pushing for more after seeing signs of uneasiness.

thanks. Will definitely take this into account.

Bryan · Jul 22, 2018

Ice Queen said:
Not creepy at all! Some of us women just have a difficult time responding to compliments, but I am one hundred percent sure you made her day! Good on you!

Hit me up sometime

we don't talk much anymore.

Cherub · Jul 22, 2018

Ice Queen said:
Not creepy at all! Some of us women just have a difficult time responding to compliments, but I am one hundred percent sure you made her day! Good on you!

Hit me up sometime

we don't talk much anymore.

PIT RAT · Jul 22, 2018

Ice Queen said:
Not creepy at all! Some of us women just have a difficult time responding to compliments, but I am one hundred percent sure you made her day! Good on you!

thanks that makes me feel good!

Lozz · Jul 22, 2018

PIT RAT said:
I complimented a women that worked at the Dunkin donuts near my house on how beautiful the color of her hair was. I mean it was, it was a beautiful shade of red. And she seemed to take it well as if she appreciated it and said thanks. Im wondering, is this sexual harassment? I hope not because I was just trying to be nice not creepy or anything. Preferably would like response's from women on this site.

"Your hair is a really nice shade of red, its really cool" is a better way to say it than "your hair is a beautiful colour" the second comes off full on and might be too much. Generally, with compliments, saying less is actually more.

Amei said:
Try find a way to pass them a note with your number and a message asking if they want to meet up after work / the weekend. Better to do something like that where they don't have to think on the spot whilst also under the pressures of a working environment.

Stop encouraging him to harrass women while they're working. When I worked in a bar I had countless numbers passed over the bar to me because they thought it was appropriate and I threw out every single one of them. People don't want to have to deal with being approached while they are working. Or after work, if its to do with their work place. Meeting somebody in their place of work isn't appropriate and isn't how to start a relationship with them. Its not a club.

Cherub · Jul 22, 2018

Lozz said:
Stop encouraging him to harrass women while they're working. When I worked in a bar I had countless numbers passed over the bar to me because they thought it was appropriate and I threw out every single one of them. People don't want to have to deal with being approached while they are working. Or after work, if its to do with their work place.

That's quite a biased view you've got there, i'm sure a lot of (wo)men enjoy and strive for the social aspect of working in a bar. (Hence why they don't opt to work somewhere else).

Lozz said:
Meeting somebody in their place of work isn't appropriate and isn't how to start a relationship with them. Its not a club.

I'd much rather meet someone through work rather than at a club.

Amei · Jul 22, 2018

Lozz said:
Stop encouraging him to harrass women while they're working. When I worked in a bar I had countless numbers passed over the bar to me because they thought it was appropriate and I threw out every single one of them. People don't want to have to deal with being approached while they are working. Or after work, if its to do with their work place. Meeting somebody in their place of work isn't appropriate and isn't how to start a relationship with them. Its not a club.

That's the whole idea of passing a note instead of trying to talk to them or catch them as they leave etc, if they're not interested they can just throw the note away. It's the most harmless way to go about it and I know people that are fine with it.

PIT RAT · Jul 22, 2018

Lozz said:
"Your hair is a really nice shade of red, its really cool" is a better way to say it than "your hair is a beautiful colour" the second comes off full on and might be too much. Generally, with compliments, saying less is actually more.

Stop encouraging him to harrass women while they're working. When I worked in a bar I had countless numbers passed over the bar to me because they thought it was appropriate and I threw out every single one of them. People don't want to have to deal with being approached while they are working. Or after work, if its to do with their work place. Meeting somebody in their place of work isn't appropriate and isn't how to start a relationship with them. Its not a club.

Amei said:
That's the whole idea of passing a note instead of trying to talk to them or catch them as they leave etc, if they're not interested they can just throw the note away. It's the most harmless way to go about it and I know people that are fine with it.

I didn't start this thread to work people up. I appreciate each and everyones opinion that is posted here I can understand that some one might not want to be aprached and I respect that. which is something I also know from working in kitchens for years talking with the waiters and such. I am glad that you brought that up which is some what why I posted this thread. She seems to take it well ie. Smiled and said thanks. I mean she seemed genuinely happy. But you can never really tell. Also I wasn't going to just do any note passing or anything unless I cought her leaving or something. Especially coffee shops get really busy so probably not a great idea mid shift.

Lozz · Jul 25, 2018

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Cherub said:
That's quite a biased view you've got there, i'm sure a lot of (wo)men enjoy and strive for the social aspect of working in a bar. (Hence why they don't opt to work somewhere else).

I'd much rather meet someone through work rather than at a club.

I loveeeeeeeed working in a bar, loved talking to everyone. Loved making friends, didn't want numbers passed to me non-stop though. Its part of the job to be chatty/social and pretend you like everybody you speak to, in reality you don't. Imo its annoying and inappropriate to make advances off somebodies physical appearance.

I ended up dating somebody who was a customer there btw, whenever I was having pints off-shift and not working we got talking. Met him again outside of work by chance through a mate. He didn't court me at my job lol

Meeting somebody through work isn't the same as meeting somebody who you've never spoken to or had a conversation with, passing you their number purely because they think ur fit.

Rooted · Aug 4, 2018

To be honest bud, it all depends on the wording and gesture that was used towards the female. Every one is different. I am very careful with the way i speak to woman, as things are always taken at a different angle with them.

Achilles12 · Oct 8, 2018

PIT RAT said:
I complimented a women that worked at the Dunkin donuts near my house on how beautiful the color of her hair was. I mean it was, it was a beautiful shade of red. And she seemed to take it well as if she appreciated it and said thanks. Im wondering, is this sexual harassment? I hope not because I was just trying to be nice not creepy or anything. Preferably would like response's from women on this site.

No that is a nice thing to say, *Sexual Harassment* is where u constant give them compliments and most times if you touch them such as *slap there ass* as that happens alot, Sexual Harassment is no joke, Saying someones hair is nice is not sexual harassment. Maken threads like this is why u will be working at dunkin donuts the rest of ure life.

Zynce · Oct 8, 2018

You can compliment my hair any day pal, don't overthink it it was a great compliment to give her, nothing wrong with it.

BUILD · Oct 14, 2018

I would have to say that due to no physical activity happen - and most places having a freedom of speech law, this is not sexual harassment. She may take it the wrong way but it's a nice genuine compliment and shouldn't be thought about to hard. If you're ever worried about these types of comments in the future, try and make them even lighter and say "nice" instead of "beautiful"