Muffinator
Active Member
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2007
- Sythe Gold
- 0
- Messages
- 142
Based on the quality of 7th-generation videogames, I would have to presume that most of their company meetings go something like this:
To start, the game obviously needs great graphics. All the polygons need to be as smooth as spheres, the pixels need to be as small as possible, and the environments need to be bland and uninteresting.
Speaking of environments, all of the levels need to be large and expansive, regardless of what this does to load times. Let's also fill all the levels with as much superfluous shit as possible: If it looks pretty and does nothing, put it in.
Once the levels are done, we need to make all of the weapons/attacks/powerups balanced, and by balanced I mean that all of them need to suck except for the one uber-weapon that gives an automatic victory to whoever grabs it first. Also, the uber-weapon needs to somehow suck as well.
Next, the single-player campaign needs to be artificially extended. Primarily, we need to make it so hard that every segment has to be repeated 40 times; it makes the game 40 times longer. Let's also place the checkpoints before each of these segments behind long stretches of mindless traveling, or unskippable cutscenes, or better yet, both.
When the game is nearing completion, we need to make it customizable in many ways- but make sure not to put any effort into any particular option: We don't want it to be too customizable.
Oh, and if we have enough time, let's make it fun too.

