I still love my ex

6ix God · Nov 2, 2017

Hardest thing to do is moving on. Good luck man.

Its Okay To Be White · Nov 10, 2017

Runepasts said: ↑

I just created this account as I need help for this chapter of my life. BEWARE IT IS VERY LONG but i will give complete detail.

I basically began dating this girl (lets call her Fan), So i began dating Fan without taking the relationship serious at all tbh. I was even honest that I did not want to fall in love with her at all as I was about to graduate High School. I fucked up because I was speaking to my ex in the beginning of our relationship because she was very suicidal and just had a very fucked life. I admit I tried various times to tell her to please leave me alone, but she would just annoy me as she had no friends and nobody else to speak to.. I will say this right now that I NEVER cheated on FAN or even thought about it. The relationship was great besides the ex part, and soon my ex was tryng to break up us up because she still loved me. SHE WAS A PYSCHO and fan saw that. I slowly began falling in love with fan and she began falling in love with me as well. Fan was a very friendly person and would be nice on social media, but i would hate how when guys flirted with her she would just "lol" at it. She even told me once "nothing will happen, theyre miles away." I knew these guys liked her and I told her but she said no and it was all in my head etc. We broke up almost for good a night when i had to pick up my friend rosa (Rosa wasnt a close friend but she would always order me ubers when i was drunk, so i wanted to return the favor) but when i got there Rosa asked if i can take my ex. I didnt wish to but she said my ex can get raped and blah blah (these girls were older already in college) and long story short they ended up sleeping over my place and i bragged about fan so much that my ex sent her a text from my phone saying "we love you"... I was trying to prove it to her that othing happened and did my best. I even promised her that i was so serious that I would throw away my university for her (which i did). I spent like 3 weeks trying to get her back and we finally got back together! everything was amazing and i was waiting for the summer to spend it with her. Things took a turn when i found out she was snapchatting a guy named Chris and i saw they were sexting and stuff she told me they were joking and none of it was serious (i know i was stupid) but w/e i trusted her and we got back. The summer was good but i began playing dota again and i slowly stopped being affectionate and i was grounded, so we would be at my house for most of the summer. Guys would flirt with her and disrespect me and she would allow it (she would tell me it was nothing) and guys would basically make fun of me. I was in love with her so much, i wanted a future and got into a university in her state. I went to the university and things began falling apart and i chose to return to my home state for our future because i was getting a good scholarship.

Now this is where shit began taking the turn for the worst...
Her first day at her college i was having wisdom teeth pain and she ignored my calls and then said "i know youre uncomfy with this but can i go to a party tonight?" I was mad and broke up with her because i just wanted her to be on facetime and make me feel better... I said i was mad for no reason the next day and wanted to get back with her and she didnt want to. She was lying she loved me and would only be mine and i had noticed she made a friend named wes. Wes would text me from her phone and shit and i thought they were just friends... Turns out we got back after a week and the night before she "cuddled" with wes and felt bad and dirty.. I was sad but somehow she convinced me and we got back together (i was so destroyed) She would go to her guys' friend dorm and i grew worried and didnt trust her. I was so childish and began having a lot of friends that were girls but we kind of restrcited it from each other and shit..... I began spending a lot of money on her and paying for flights to see her.. I was a secret and nobody besides her roommates really knew we were together. She would talk abojut guys infront of me on facetime to her roommate, i was so sad. She would use me... She led me to basically being in debt spending on average 1.2k everytime i flew out to her, buying her gifts, and what not. We ultimately broke up because she chose her guy friend over me 3 times in one week.. I still count the days weve been broken up for, check her social media, and cry almsot every night. I deactiavted all my social media and dont speak to her. Im still so hurt, Idk what to do. I want to be okay. I joined a frat BUT IM STILL SAD. I met a new set of friends that are older and very wealthy and find myself going out to party, banging groupies, doing cocaine, drinking, going to exclusive parties, BUT IM STILL SAD. Idk wtf to do and this lifestyle is honestly killing me so much. Idk wtf to do (i left out parts because i dont want to type it all) but i added shit. I gave this girl all of me and always put her before me. Why would she do this to me... I just want to forget
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Honestly you know wishin 6 months what kind of person they are....

Make the judgement call, end it

Cherub · Nov 18, 2017

Honestly, you were shot at and the bullet just grazed you,
this is not someone you want to be with.

On a tangent, don't force yourself to be someone you are not in order to get over her (cocaine / parties etc).

Further, although this past relationship may have scarred you, i would advise you to make a judgement call and either trust someone or not. Without trust how can you have a serious relationship, how can you love someone?
Excuse me for this, but i think you do need to take a step back and learn from this experience, as it seems you were both very immature and naive throughout, from what you've written.

Nonetheless, i hope you heal well and stronger.

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I still love my ex

6ix God Member

Its Okay To Be White Newcomer

My Discord: cherubuk

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I still love my ex

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6ix God Member

Its Okay To Be White Newcomer

My Discord: cherubuk