I hate my stepdad

[Unregistered]

I can't stand my stepdad, there has been so many times I've nearly hit him but held back because my Mum loves him.

He constantly complains about silly things like me leaving a glass in my room and if something breaks the finger is pointed at me (I admit if it was me which it hardly ever is)

Or that I'm on my phone too much, which is true I even agree but it is usually someone texting me while we are all watching tv but the phone is always on silent so I don't see how it is a problem.

He always tries to get involved with my school work, ahem sorry Mr failed all my Gcse's.
Also his son was failing everything until he left his life and now he has done well for himself (something to do with economics I believe)

The worst thing is I have little escape from him as I'm not allowed to chill in my room before dinner, and we have dinner late.
He also lost his job recently so he is around more often.

We never really have been close, we'll watch the odd football game together or such but that is about it. (Soccer)

We were close a couple of months ago, as he was taking me to Rugby so we had a common ground to talk on, (even though he never played Rugby he tried to learn the rules and such for when we went, which I admire massively) but then Rugby finished so we're back to square one where I hate him.

I can't take this any more as I'm already at my breaking point with life in general, I am constantly stressed out and I can't go live with my dad because of very complicated circumstances.

Please help
Thank you

 

Have you tried finding other things to connect with him? It seems like he is actually trying to step up and be the father role model in your life, he's just having a hard time showing it.
My dad is like this, he shows his love by showing it through "tough love" It's not the best way but at least he's trying, and I can learn to appreciate him for that.

Again, you can understand if he's getting mad at you for texting while you're watching TV together because he maybe wants to spend time with you, it's even more obvious that he's trying to help you with your school work because he cares, don't get mad at him, explain to him that you understand what he's doing but you need more boundaries.

 

Sounds like he's trying to be a good father to you. He is caring about your academics which shows he wants you to be successful in life. Academics are honestly the most important thing in your life currently and I can guarantee that. As far as you being blamed for things welcome to being a teenager my dad blames me but I don't hold it against him. As far as texting while watching tv. He probably wants to spend time with you. My dad does the same as your dad.

 

[Raising Hope]

I hate step dads not saying that my mom is constantly dating because she doesn't and there extremely rare occasion she'll try to introduce me to anyone I'll immediately shut her down. I just hate older men, they're all douche bags and if anyone tries to interfere with my life and the way I want to do things I'll freak out and say things that I probably shouldn't.

I'm not a bad son either I do everything that is needed of me and some, I just have major issues when it comes with "authority" or "respect" I hate it when people just assume they're older then me and sleeping with my mother that they deserve anything from me? Like who does he think he is? I'm not scared to speak my mind and I'll do whatever it takes to keep my family and my sanity together no 40 something year old douche bag is gonna take anything away from me.

Anyways I have issues, but my advice for your issues is just to talk, talk to your mother and talk to the douche and let everyone know your feelings. He really has no place to tell you what to do he is not your father and just because he makes your mom happy doesn't mean he has to make you happy. You're not his child and you do not have to love him but you do have to live with him so as long as you stay in school, do some chores he really has nothing to complain about and neither do you right?

 

[woodcut ox]

I have the same issue with my actual father. He's always on my shit about getting things done, and watching me like a prison guard as I do it. It's been to the point where I've swung on him. Letting things like that happen will not help at all. Sit him down with your mother & father, and talk about where he's getting to close for your comfort. It sounds like he has all your best interests at hand, not just doing things like this because he can.

 

[Unregistered]

This is the OP

I moved to my Dads house as we made up and I can't deal with my stepdad any longer.

I regret leaving my Mum but she hasn't even had the courtesy to ask me my side of the story.

I feel suicidal at the moment.

 

[Raising Hope]

Don't feel suicidal, just be happy you had a place to go to. There's a lot of shitty things on this planet but killing yourself for having a roof over your head, food to eat and a father who'd take you in isn't any of them. And what I mean by that is your life isn't as terrible as you think it is, just think about all the teenagers in foster care right now who are reaching adult hood soon, they'll be kicked to the curb with nothing and they'll keep trucking on and so can you with or without your mother.

I don't know how old you're but get a grip of reality now rather than in five or so years wishing you started today.

 

This is the OP

I moved to my Dads house as we made up and I can't deal with my stepdad any longer.

I regret leaving my Mum but she hasn't even had the courtesy to ask me my side of the story.

I feel suicidal at the moment.

Maybe your mum thinks you're old enough to make your own decision? I'm not sure how old you are or even more than 10% of your situation but in the nicest way possible it seems like you're over-reacting.
From everyone's point of you view you step-dad was actually trying to show care/love towards you, he was just having a tough time showing it.
Instead of relaying on everyone to baby you and ask if you're alright, you need to speak up, I don't mean to sound rude, but it seems like you're making the situation worse than it needs to be. *My point of view, I'm sorry if there are details I'm missing*

 

[Pulse]

D00d,

Your stepdad cares for you mate, he does all of that because he cares for you.
I had this problem sometime ago that my stepdad always reads my texts filled with bullshit. Enough was enough. I told him that it's what most of people in school does the same bullshit. I told him to stop reading my texts as it was my privacy. After some small talk he agreed.

What you should do is the same; just talk to him, mate. Even though he's your stepdad he is still family. Families need to understand each other and that's what ties your kin strong. Go talk with him about what your deal is with him

 

[TradeFortress]

I had a step-dad for around 6 or 7 years when I was growing up (1st-7th grade). I didn't like him from the start, or even like to stay at his house. I use to just go to my grandma's instead. We didn't have much in common and what we did have in common I didn't like doing with him because I just didn't like him. We went fishing and trapping and it was fun once I got out there, but I never really said much to him. If you don't want to try to form a relationship with him the best thing to do is just ignore him as much as possible, and stay away from him. You don't have to talk to him, just keep quiet when you're around him and if he tries to talk to you just give a short answer or just agree with him. If he's a prick or blames you for something just laugh it off or tell him how it is, don't let him bully you around like that.

I was going to PM you this but you're unregistered, so here's a link.

http://stepfamilycenter.com/the-6-donts-of-being-a-stepdad/ - there's a bunch of other articles with the same exact info

Tell your mom to read that and tell her to talk to him about it or have them both read it at the same time so you can go over it. Him being such a bitch all the time will affect you in the long run, but just try to ignore him as much as possible for now.

 

[Unregistered]

I can't stand my stepdad, there has been so many times I've nearly hit him but held back because my Mum loves him.

He constantly complains about silly things like me leaving a glass in my room and if something breaks the finger is pointed at me (I admit if it was me which it hardly ever is)

Or that I'm on my phone too much, which is true I even agree but it is usually someone texting me while we are all watching tv but the phone is always on silent so I don't see how it is a problem.

He always tries to get involved with my school work, ahem sorry Mr failed all my Gcse's.
Also his son was failing everything until he left his life and now he has done well for himself (something to do with economics I believe)

The worst thing is I have little escape from him as I'm not allowed to chill in my room before dinner, and we have dinner late.
He also lost his job recently so he is around more often.

We never really have been close, we'll watch the odd football game together or such but that is about it. (Soccer)

We were close a couple of months ago, as he was taking me to Rugby so we had a common ground to talk on, (even though he never played Rugby he tried to learn the rules and such for when we went, which I admire massively) but then Rugby finished so we're back to square one where I hate him.

I can't take this any more as I'm already at my breaking point with life in general, I am constantly stressed out and I can't go live with my dad because of very complicated circumstanceus.

Please help
Thank you

Personally I think he is just trying to be nice with you, I have a step-dad which isnt of the best, he actually helps me in a lot of things, but what made me think that I hate him was that I couldnt stand the fact that there was another man in my mother's life. (it took me a while to understand it, I used to deny this)

Regarding the school, I believe that if he pushes you to do better is because he wants you to succeed, like you mention; his son did bad, so he probably doesnt want that to happen to you

Its quite strange that a person likes his step-dad, as one tends to think that his step-dad is taking over the 'man' position that he, somehow, gained when his mom and dad's relation finished

 

[Schoolboy Q]

It looks like hes actually trying man, even though he may get you mad sometimes over things like cleaning your room it sounds like? and staying off your phone sometimes that's things a normal dad does... or a normal parent you are just taking any excuse you can to hate on him , but hey man if you dislike someone don't forcefully like them. If there are actual reasons in your mind that cause you to dislike him don't stop because he might not be a good person for you/

 

[lucspender]

parents always nag, just tell him politely and ask him to give you a lil space im sure he will understand