My brother is contemplating suicide

[Stickly]

My brother was recently dumped which tipped him over the line. He's 19 and just quit his job. I had to take away pills from him already. He's told me he wants to kill himself, but he just can't do it. I have yet to tell my parents about it as he doesn't really seem serious, but I've been on the verge of it.

Any ideas on what to do, or what to tell him at least?

 

[iguanas21]

My brother was recently dumped which tipped him over the line. He's 19 and just quit his job. I had to take away pills from him already. He's told me he wants to kill himself, but he just can't do it. I have yet to tell my parents about it as he doesn't really seem serious, but I've been on the verge of it.

Any ideas on what to do, or what to tell him at least?

I don't know if you use reddit, but these pages are from the SuicideWatch subreddit, I think they're a good read for someone in your position.

http://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources...rned_but_dont_know_what_to_say_here_are_some/

http://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/1c7nqf/worried_about_someone_who_may_be_suicidal_heres/

 

Firstly; all mentions of suicide are serious. All too often people say "he/she doesn't mean it" then eat their words when the person in question does get tipped over the edge. Whether your brother will hate you for it or not - you need to tell your parents or persuade him to see some sort of suicide prevention worker or counsellor. No, talking won't help everyone, but you need to get as much help and support to him as possible.

Sometimes just talking about what's bothering someone most can really make the problem seem much less than it is. Sometimes when I explain to someone I think to myself "what the hell was I stressing over?". Talk to him, get him to open up, assure him it isn't as bad as he's over-thinking it to be.

Address each problem he brings up. So, for example, if someone opened up to me and I bulletpointed the problems: girlfriend left, no job, no money, alcohol problem; then I'd address how each of these can be helped. I.e. Take them to the job center or find some appropriate jobs for them to apply for, help them make a CV up, get them out socialising and so on and so forth. You get the idea. Break his problems down in to manageable chunks. A huge list of things in your head can demotivate you and depress you because it seems more than it is, stressing over stressing.

Most importantly he'll need his friends and family's support as much and as often as possible. Let them know he's in a bad way and needs them there for him, get him out socialising and doing sports and activities - a healthy social and physical life makes a healthy mind.

 

[l0llyp0pst3r]

The fact that he even mentions suicide means it already quite serious. I suggest spending more time with him to fill the void in his life and tell ur parents as well as they probably can handle the situation better. If it gets worse I suggest counselling. Gl with everything and hope your bro bounces bak into life

 

[Membership]

If you think your parents will be able to handle the situation correctly just tell them about it, if not then its on you to prevent it from happening. NEVER doubt of the seriousness of his words, when you least expect it is when it can happen. Be there for him and give him all support possible, help him improve his life in every way you possibly can, and never let him stay down, say funny shit even if it isn't funny, the fact that he sees you trying hard to cheer him up alone may make him rethink how people love and care about him

 

[Sickdog177]

Very tough situation to be in.

Suicide in any situation is a very serious problem to encounter. Your brother honestly seems to be going through a stage. I mean unless you can analyze the situation and him himself, and find out if there is more to this then there seems.

I went through this myself. I've contemplated on many occasions of killing myself, mainly not because I ACTUALLY wanted to kill myself. But because of things around me. Once I had support, and got back on my feet, I never looked back. It's very hard to determine whether or not a person is really serious when it comes to "I want to kill myself". I mean, when I tried, I couldn't do it. Nobody without serious mental illness can actually go through with doing it.

The best thing I would be doing is first and foremost. Tell your Parents. Your family needs to know, once that is done, your family will know, understand and start the process of helping your Brother. If your Brother is suffering from depression or anything along the lines of it. He needs to see a profressional, whether it be a psychiatrist, or counseller.

Your Brother needs to understand that, his life isn't over. Times get hard, nobody is going to go through life without having hard times hit them. That's what makes life.. Life. It helps shape us, and evolve us. He needs to understand he HAS family that LOVES and CARES about him! Whether he wants to sit there and believe it or not. He needs to understand that killing himself isn't going to save him, nor will it "extract" the pain.

Killing himself would only resort to him losing his life he had to live, and it would mean your Mother and Father have just lost a Son they loved and cared about. And imagine if he did kill himself and you never told your Parents?

They could've saved him. You need to tell em' mate. Support, love, and care for your Brother. He'll look back when you's did that and thanks you's once his back to living a great life. That's what familys for.

Goodluck man.

 

[Hailey]

Any update on this? Honestly if I were you I would tell my parents. Wouldn't it be worse if something really did happen. Or sit down and have a heart to heart with him. Try to get him to think level headed.

 

[FloydZeppelin]

Watch him, but don't lose sleep over it.. I had to go through the same shit, more times than not it was all bluffs for attention. Telling your parents might do worse, but I'm not going to tell you what to do about that. Parents counseling a 19 year old who just lost what he thinks is his "life" never works. He'll get over his heartbreak in time if he chooses to wait. On another note, you need to remember that no matter what happens, it's not your fault nor was it your duty to magically change a depressed person's mind. That's what I had to end up telling myself.

 

[Sempiternally]

watch him as much as you can, please make sure you can watch what he does closely, everything is related to something.
Every action is followed by some emotion or thought.

Goodluck.

 

[Infadel]

In my opinion, assuming this is still going on, you should do what you can as a brother to help him out of this because suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and no one should resort to that!

Tell you're parents if you need to, be there for him, talk to him and more importantly listen because if anything were to happen to him, you will be the one that would be truly hurt because you would feel that even as a brother you couldn't do much for him and that feeling would really really suck trust me.

Anyways I hope you update us with the issue and I wish you and your brother all the best. Stay safe and take care of him please

 

[tehRonskie]

What happened? Is everything fine? Keep us posted brother on what's happening

 

[Ruby]

go and try to have a good time with him.
Introduce him to a new girl, perhaps.

 

[Stickly]

Update: He is still down, but he's not suicidal as far as I know. He's joined the air force, and is still girlfriend-less. Not a lot of places to go out and meet new people in AK.

 

[DarkKiller77]

Maybe things will become better. Try to get him out of the blue mood and chat with him sincerely to enter his inner world.

 

[DarkKiller77]

go and try to have a good time with him.
Introduce him to a new girl, perhaps.

Pretty good advice.

 

[Rsjunkie]

Tell your parents so that they are involved and they would know better what to do.
Spend more time with him, go out and have a few drinks with girls. Show him a good time and that suicide is not worth it.
If he still has the idea of committing suicide, then you should seek professional help.

 

[cutecandy]

Watch him as much as you can.
Introduce him a new girl, or take him to the doctor.