http://omegle.com/

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: ello
Stranger: how are you oldie?
You: stranger
You: i dont talk to strangers.
Stranger: oh sorry for bothering you
Stranger: I'll be going then
You: get me off this
You: website!
You: sick website!
Stranger: farewell
You: this is crazy!
Stranger: it is
You: im going to die!
You: from being killed!
by a stranger!
Stranger: haha
You: stop forcing me to talk to you!
Stranger: sorry
You: no i will not tell you my address!
rapist!
Stranger: I can't shut my damn mouth
You: stop!
You: rapist!
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: retard
You: racist rapist!
You: the game!
You: the game owns your life!
Stranger: sure, whatever
Stranger: I don't give a shit
You: my dog!
You: cursing racist rapist!
Stranger: I'm going to go take a dump
Stranger: see ya
You: wait
You: can i have pic when ur done
You: of it in the toilet
Stranger: haha
Stranger: sure
You: kk
You: email me at
You: [email protected]
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: that's not an email
Stranger: liar
You: yes it is
You: just email it
You: and i'll reply with my review
You: on your poop
Stranger: no thanks
You: please
You: please i need it!
You: i have aids i need it!
You: so i dont die!
Stranger: why are you so obsessed with shit?
Stranger: you have some issues
You: no!
You: no!
You: noooo!
You: no it cant be!
Stranger: well I'm going to go
Stranger: nice talking to you
You: no!
You: send it!
Stranger: bye bye
You: or you haunted!
You: by ghost!
You: ghost of poopy!
Stranger: haha
Stranger: bye
You: im 2 years old
You: plz dont touch me when i sleeping
Stranger: omg
Stranger: fuck you
Stranger: goodbye
Your conversational partner has disconnected

 

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Greetings Omegle User!

In compliance with Federal laws, we are required to inform you that the person you are talking with is a registered sex offender in his/her neighborhood.

Please use caution when talking to this person.

Thank you and we hope you enjoy Omegle!
You: lolerz
Stranger: dont listen to that...
Stranger: whats up?
You: nothing lol
Stranger: thats cool. where are you from?
You: Illinois, in florida right now
Stranger: Vacation?
You: yeh, by myself too.
You: only 15.
Stranger: You trying to bait me? lol jk
You: no lol... im a guy anyways...
You: even if you were a female sex offender that'd be kinda hot...
Stranger: Well...Im a guy sex offender but I dont molest a girl....
You: so you're gay?
Stranger: Indeed. and I like em young.
You: nice,
You: how old are you exactly
Stranger: 42
You: oh



the fucking sex offender thing fucking made me rofl

 

You: Bless the dead man in my stomach.
Stranger: ?
You: ?
Stranger: asl?
You: 46, Male, Behind you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Stranger: hi
Stranger: m or f?
You: Hello!

In compliance with Federal laws, we are required to inform you that the person you are talking with is a registered sex offender in his/her neighborhood.

Please use caution when talking to this person.

Thank you and we hope you enjoy Omegle!
You: heh jus ignore tht
Stranger: ok cool
Stranger: i like sex offenders
You: im not a sex offendr
You: idk y its sayin tht
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

I'm addicted.

You: Dog licks own genitals only to find they are actually an evil, Native American shaman who has made a disgusting mistake.
Stranger: youre weard
You: No, you're just mentally ill.
Stranger: why im i mentaly ill
You: Why am I weird?
Stranger: becouse of the dogs licks own genitals
Stranger: story
Stranger: thats weard
You: It's spelled Weird, btw.
Stranger: im dutch
You: Who the fuck are you called a bitch ?
Stranger: my name?
Stranger: iris
Stranger: nice to meet you
Stranger: im from the netherlands
You: Uhm ..
You: Dog licks own genitals only to find they are actually an evil, Native American shaman who has made a disgusting mistake.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Stranger: hi
You: hello
You: can i ask you something?
Stranger: yeah
You: tell me what do you see, whan you're looking at me? WOHAHHHH! on a mission to be, what i'm destined to be, whooooahhHH.
Stranger: is that a song?
You: no serious question..
Stranger: i dont even know you
Stranger: or how you look like
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



TR

 

Heres this one again.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
You: game
Stranger: fucker
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You: In compliance with Federal laws, we are required to inform you that the person you are talking with is a registered sex offender in his/her neighborhood.

Please use caution when talking to this person.

Thank you and we hope you enjoy Omegle!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You: Do you have xbl?
Stranger: no...
Stranger: i don't like game
You: Why? Too poor?
You: Is your dad a catholic priest? Got arrested for molesting a little boy?
Stranger: nonono
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: i don't like game at all
Stranger: all thing i got about game is only a psp
You: You're .. ASAIN!
Stranger: how can u know that?
You: I just know.
Stranger: american also can own a psp
You: I'm God. And you're asain.
You: Am I wrong ?
Stranger: yes. u r right
You: See? God cannot be wrong.
Stranger: i think so. your name is GOD?
You: No, I am God.
You: Oh, i'm sorry..
You: Let me try to translate..
You: Buddha.
Stranger: fuk you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You: Hello.
Stranger: do you have a club penguin
You: No srry.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Shortest chat ever. rofl

 

This is too much fun sorry rofl.

Stranger: hello
You: It's OVER 9000!
Stranger: 19 f
Stranger: wanna see my site?
You: 62/m
You: Do you like DP?
Stranger: http (removing link beforehand lol)
Stranger: see my site
You: My testicles look like raisins.
You: httpRemoving link..lets just say it was a shock site LMAO)
You: You first.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: its loading
You: Ok.
Stranger: u open my site
You: After you tell me what my name is on mine
You: I'm the administrator
You: Just scroll to the bottom and look.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Why haven't we had sex yet?
You: Why shouldnt we now?
Stranger: Then shall we?
You: Sure.
Stranger: Awwwwwwwwwww yeaaaah!
You: Are your testicles in shape?
Stranger: I dunno, they haven't been excercising much lately
Stranger: I think they need to go for a jog
You: Hm, mine are being torn off by a rabid dog tomorow, i had the letter in the post today
Stranger: Well that's a shame
Stranger: Sounds like it'll hurt
You: Sure is, i heared it hurts like hell
You: Could you show me your moobs on cam?
Stranger: No doubt, you may want to numb them with something
Stranger: Sorry but my moobs were torn off by a rabid dog just yesterday
You: Ah, that sucks
You: what about your hairy bellybutton?
You: they are hot
Stranger: They are, it's like an asshole on your stomach
Stranger: I even poop out of mine
You: Omg thats hot
You: Do you use sythe?
You: .org
Stranger: Never heard of it, will it help my bellybutton pooping?
You: Yep, it sure will
You: gives you guides on it
You: helps you gain the most out of it
Stranger: Oh sweet, I'll go check it out now!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This guy was sick and twisted. I hope i dont ever come close to talking to him again D:

EDIT:
This one was even more sick and twisted...
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: HAI
You: Hey der.
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring, Asl?
Stranger: 22 m
You: Cool
You: im 64 m
You: Want to see me jizz onscreen?
Stranger: nah im cool
You: Why not?
Stranger: kinda not my thing
You: Ahh,
You: how about me fuck a older man than myself?
You: Hes been tied in my closet for 4 weeks now
You: I dont even know if hes alive
Stranger: lol
Stranger: u sound like a villian
You: Im a sexy old villian
You: I like to dress up in Womens clothes and put a wig on
Stranger: well good luck to you sir in you hunt i wish u all the best but i dont think im your demographic
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hi, i'm trying shrooms for the first time on saturday, what should i expect
Stranger: idk
Stranger: shrooms?
You: yes
You: psilocybin mushrooms
You: THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME
You: hi
You: how are you
Stranger: lol
Stranger: hi
Stranger: im okay :\
Stranger: hbu?
You: you seem a bit disappointed, is there something you'd like to talk about, big guy?
Stranger: guy?
You: something getting you down, ol' chum?
Stranger: no
Stranger: im telling my friend about now.
You: wanna fuck?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Stranger: hi
You: hiii
Stranger: mf
You: both.
You: you?
Stranger: brother and sister?
You: yep.
Stranger: how old ru
Stranger: 2
You: 25
You: I'm a well-endowed woman.
You: How about you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

 

You: Hai der.
Stranger: hello
Stranger: m or f?
You: M
You: Sicko
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Stranger: hi,boy or girl?
You: both
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

You: HAaaaaaaaaai
Stranger: STOP FUCKING!
Stranger: Hi
You: I got booner
Stranger: I'm Jim
Stranger: How are you?
You: Horny
Stranger: Good
You: the game
You: I won
Stranger: To start things off, tell me what your problems are.
You: ok
You: well
You: first
You: mhm
You: i have 4 inch penis
Stranger: I'm sorry
Stranger: Try this
Stranger: ...
Stranger: http://www."""""" porn site, i blocked it =[ of gay men.
Stranger: That should help things.
You: what
You: mhm
You: Are u gay?
Stranger: Are you gay?
You: I like firemen
You: If this counts as gay
Stranger: I am a fireman
You: oh
You: U got all muscles n stuff?
Stranger: I saved 30 children from a burning building last night.
You: really
You: Do u like 12 year old kids?
Stranger: THIRTY CHILDREN>>>
Stranger: Only in packs of 30
You: What wud u do with all of em?
Stranger: Destroy...
Stranger: Them...
Stranger: ...
You: WHAT
Stranger: anally.
You: OH
You: Oh my gee.
You: I i.. i...
Stranger: You wouldn't?
You: I..
You: jizzed my pants
Stranger: Show me.
Stranger: Show
You: want to sniff it?
Stranger: them...
Stranger: Show them all
Stranger: They all want to sniff it
You: Want to eat it?
Stranger: FUCK YEAH!
You: Fresh fro mthe factory
You: Wud u tapppp me?
Stranger: In a New York minute
You: what wud u do if i were infront of you with boxers?
Stranger: Ask for them
Stranger: I need a new pair
You: but theyre smelly
Stranger: Not as much as mine
Stranger: Also, mine are burnt
Stranger: Fires'll do that to ya.
You: Do u have burns under ur pants?
You: like, the "down" area
Stranger: Because my dick is on fire.
You: Oh
You: Cant even get better
Stranger: It burns
Stranger: For you..
You: Oh
Stranger: RECKLESS FIRE!
You: You just set my hole in fire
You: Help me fireman!
Stranger: No.
Stranger: You don't deserve it.
You: But im burning
You: Its ur job
Stranger: Did I mention I'm also an assassin?
You: Fire man and assasin
Stranger: And you're next.
You: Oh
You: Dont let me die like tihs
You: HELP
Stranger: Nah, I'm cool
Stranger: Think I'll light up a smoke
You: Its burning as hell
Stranger: Fuck bitches, get money.
You: Hey
Stranger: Yes, my child?
You: The game.
Stranger: I'm immune.
You: i just set you on fire
Stranger: Diplomatic immunity.
Stranger: To fire as well
You: Ill nuke you
Stranger: Did I mention I'm from Antartica
Stranger: ?
Stranger: And
Stranger: The Game
You: fail
You: I won
You: I said it first
Stranger: I said it first
Stranger: In
You: I just nuked you.
Stranger: BAZARO LAND
You: Sythe.com
Stranger: Deathsythe.com
You have disconnected.






Stranger: hello stranger
You: im not
You: ur stranger
Stranger: didnt say your mine
You: I dont talk to strangers
You: my mom told me so
Stranger: i dont know you,so that makes you a stranger
Stranger: fuck off then
You: the game
Your conversational partner has disconnected.




Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hi, asl
You: hi
Stranger: 24 f canada
You: nice
You: you like green men?
Stranger: green?
You: yes.
You: Green
Stranger: never seen any
You: Im a hulk
Stranger: sorry, but "a hulk" almost definitely has some sort of std
You: ew.
Stranger: I mean, come on, they eat tanks
Stranger: its going to happen eventually
You: But hey, its all muscles.
You: if u got cam i can prove you.
Stranger: yeah, and their a little to huge
You: nah
You: im just 7.5"
Stranger: hold on, we were talking about you?
You: yes
You: lol
Stranger: eww, bye, I bet you have AIDS
Stranger: Seriously.
You: omfg
You: I dont have aids
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Stranger: Are you a girl age 18-24 looking to talk about sex?
You: No.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Stranger: hi
You: Herro.
You: How is you done?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi
You: c======3
Stranger: What is it?
You: THE GAME
Stranger: game?
You: It's a disco stick.
Stranger: umm...
You: Lady GaGa wants to ride your disco stick.
Stranger: oh fuck
You: THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS
You: ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE HIM?
You: HA HA, THAT WAS EXCITING!
Stranger: Yes
You: WE SHOULD GO FOR A BURGER SOMETIMES!

Stranger: hi
You: Hello, my good friend. I presume all is great IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, I GOT IN ONE BIG FIGHT, MY MOM GOT SCARED, YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR!
You: C'mon reply!
You: FUCK
You: SHIT
You: TITTIES
You: PENIS
You: BONER
You: WHIPPLESTICK
You: DISCO STICK
You: BITCH
You: ASS
You have disconnected. (I waited 15 minutes... Spacing out most of the cuss words to get his attention.)

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: |
Stranger: |
Stranger: |
You: Oh cool!
Stranger: U MESSD IT UP!!!
Stranger: |
Stranger: |
You: What a completely unique trick!
Stranger: |
Stranger: |
Stranger: |
Stranger: V
Stranger: HAHA
You: Aw shucks, Batman!
You: It seems you've THE GAME
Stranger: im the guy
You: Who plays the pyro in TF2 and complains.
Stranger: idk...
You: PUT THAT IN YOUR BAGEL AND BUTTER IT.
You: Stranger is typing...
You: TYPE FASTER, FAGGOT.
You: It's been a minute. Are you slapping the keyboard with your cock, provided it can even reach the keyboard?
Stranger: ....____
../ \ |
..\__ \_/

You: Absolutely worth all the time it took, eh?
Stranger: yep lol
You: Good job, brah!
You: Let's go to a party and get drunk, brah!
You: BRAH
You: BRAH
You: BRAH
You: BRAH
You: BRAH?
You: BRAH?!
Stranger: lol
|
|
|
V NOOB
You: ^Deflects your shit^
Stranger: 8=====D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: whats up
Stranger: hi
You: HERRO DO U SPOKED ENGRISH
Stranger: yayayayayayaayyayaayyayyayayayyayy
Stranger: fuck u bitch\
Stranger: what
Stranger: say what fool
Stranger: huh
Stranger: speak up
Stranger: yo
You: Sir, it appears you may have just lost the game.
Stranger: huh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Part 2 in next post.

 

Stranger: Hey
You: hi
Stranger: Are you an old man?
You: Shit, how'd you know?
Stranger: Intuition
Stranger: I'm a little girl
Stranger: We are a great pair
You: Oh, i like little boys though
Stranger: Aww...
You: We could have been great, go grow a penis please.
Stranger: Thats harder to do than it sounds, nice man!
You: GO DO IT NOW!
Stranger: Yes, sir...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: hi
Stranger: hey
Stranger: whats hapaning
You: why do you care?
Stranger: because i love u
Stranger: and want to plant my seed in u
You: orly?
Stranger: rly
You: Funny thing is, im planting my "seed" in your mom tomorrow night.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.