Hi man I'm posting as this is something I can personally relate to.
When I was 17 years old I was playing Runescape a little but also balanced a pretty good social life. I was not emotionally strong at the time and I experienced my first heartbreak with a girl shortly before I turned 18. This led to me playing 8-12 hours a day starting off as escapism, which very quickly became an addiction as playing for that amount of time each day lasted over a year.
I was in denial about it for a long time but every few months I'd have a really low point (probably sleep deprivation being a contributor), I used to log off and "quit", or say to myself "I will cut down tomorrow, next week, next month... etc".
This led to me getting poor grades at 6th form (A-Levels in UK).
I still played when I went to do a diploma at college (not Uni, college is different in UK) just before I turned 19. I used to play in all of my free time and cram assignments in late (still hadn't learned). I was selling a little bit of gold here and there at this point, which was probably a blessing in disguise. While I was on a trip to Berlin I dumped all of my bank as I wasn't going to be able to play/stake for a while. I got RWT banned and i felt relieved as it gave me the perfect excuse to quit. This was about a 3rd of the way through my second year at college.
I didn't play but I missed selling gold as I had no other income at the time. I got into the market (powerbot) and soon became addicted to that. This was probably the first time I realized I had an "addictive personality".
When I started University I had so many distractions I barely even turned on my computer. This was perfect for me to stop without it being too much of a challenge. I would recommend trying to keep busy, even if its doing things out of your comfort zone.
One conclusion I have come to in relation to my own personality (which may or may not be relevant to yourself) is that I do like to feel secure and have some degree of control. This is probably why I became so addicted with trading, just how I was with gaming. Although over delivering has its perks, it can also be detrimental to your health. It took me a while to trust other people to do tasks for me and to my surprise I realised I still had control over all operations.
I am now 24 years old and looking back I have changed so much. Back when I was struggling it was unimaginable I could be like I am now. I am not stroking my own ego as I have a lot of goals I am yet to accomplish.
In relation to your comment about your belief you have missed out on relationships. Although to some extent this would be true only if your development in these areas of your life had to correlate to the developments of others. In a competitive world it is easy to look at things like this and suppress oneself with limiting self beliefs. When I read this part it was like I was listening to my own thoughts from the past.
When it comes to relationships it's the opposite of gaming accomplishments your brain is accustomed to. In games you are rewarded really quickly, which then gradually gets slower, longer, harder. This is why they are addictive. When it comes to relationships the hardest part is just starting. Just try not to take things too seriously and keep practicing. It really can be a fun experience, although it may feel weird or uncomfortable at first.
I don't want to come across too much as some motivational guru but we all hear of successful people in all different areas of life, whether it be financial, social, dating, or sports and fitness. One thing many people from these areas have in common is they were once at a difficult point in their life like you and I.
One mistake I did was I dwelled on the past too much. I had regret for my past actions, denial, and limiting self beliefs. I then overcompensated by trying to think too far in the future, which just caused more anxiety and stress. The best thing that happened to me was when I just focused on what I wanted out of life and as the cliche goes "started living in the present". Of course I have future goals, but I don't try to come up with some perfect plan to chase them. It is best to just keep busy in life, still have fun, try not to take insecurities or other stresses too seriously. Just keep going, learn from your mistakes and don't give up.
Selling my desktop, and games consoles was the best thing I have done in my life. Some people can balance it in their life but I have no shame in admitting I can't. Of course if I am ever in a social situation where a console is being used, I may have a quick game of FIFA or whatever (and suck at it bad), but I can laugh off how bad I am and enjoy the social aspect.
It has given me much more time to try different things, see what suits me and doesn't, learn the basics of a new language (which previously I told myself I wasn't capable of doing), and most importantly it's given me the time to learn more useful skills.
Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble, but I don't think about my past in detail much so it's hard not to bounce around too much when typing something like this.
