From my favorate book..

"It was amazing. If you ever want to change your life immediately, just sit down in some random fast-food place and start urinating in your pants. My lap was all wet and warm, and it was running down my legs and filling my Red Wing boots.
"I even told the manager. I said, 'I'm totally pissing my pants, man. Sorry.'
"The manager twiddled the ends of his mustache.
"He went, 'Well, that's not very sanitary, son.' Now I was his son. 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'
" 'Whatever, Dad,' I said. I was his son, so he was obviously my dad, right?
"We were one big happy Pizza Hut family."

 

wat. 

 

wat. ,