Emails from an asshole

You do make me laugh, and back seat modding is allowed ;D

 

lol cats

 

Damn, I want that car now.

 

Original ad:
summer nanny/babysitter needed!!
must watch and entertain kids during the summer. there are ten kids, ages 7 to 9. preferrably looking for a school teacher off for the summer to teach the kids and provide fun activities.

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From Mike Partlow to ***********@**********.org

Hello,

I am Staff Sgt. Mike Partlow and I am on a six month leave. I have nothing to do back in the states, and watching your kids sounds like fun. I love kids. I have plenty of activities for them and assure you they will always be kept busy. Let me know if you are interested and we can discuss pay.

Thanks,

SSG Partlow

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From Donna ******** to Me

Mr. Partlow,

Thanks for responding! I am interested. Do you have any previous experience with kids? What kind of activities would you do? I am looking for something fun and eductational, and some sports for the boys.

-Donna

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From Mike Partlow to Donna **********

Donna,

I have lots of experience with kids from my time in the Middle East. I can teach my expertise to your kids through fun games and activities. I can teach them basic weapons training, close quarters combat, explosive ordinance disposal, and hand-to-hand combat. They will have a blast! I will provide the firearms but I would prefer if you pay for the ammunition. I can make the activities fun and educational. Kids really seem to enjoy basic weapons training when you put it in terms they can understand, for example, I used to teach the Middle Eastern kids how to accurately fire an M203 by a modified version of "pin the tail on the donkey." Instead of a tail, it was a 40mm grenade, and instead of "pinning" it, they fired it from a safe distance. I assure you that safety is my number one concern with the kids, but also, them having fun is my top priority.

SSG Partlow

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From Donna ******** to Me

Is this a joke? You realize these kids are mostly 7 years old, right?

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From Mike Partlow to Donna **********

Donna,

It is never too early to teach your children these basic life skills. I am aware that they are young and will adjust my program accordingly. We will be mostly using the 5.56mm M16A2, which is a great weapon for children. It is gas operated, so the recoil is minimal, making it a perfect gun for children to use. So what were you thinking as far as pay goes? I don't mean to cut to the chase, but I really need a job.
SSG Partlow

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From Donna ******** to Me

This is absurd. I really hope you aren't serious.

I am not interested. Thanks.

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From Mike Partlow to Donna **********

Donna,

I am sorry that you are not interested. You may regret this if your child is ever put in a close quarters combat situation, and doesn't even know how to pop a magazine in his rifle.

If you change your mind and decide you want your kids to grow up to be men, not pussies, let me know.

SSG Partlow

---
I found that one pretty funny.

 

I just read through that.

I love you for posting this so I can read it at 3am when i walk into my house after a good night out.

 

anyone who thinks that was a waste of time is wrong, i got a good laugh out of em' all nice

 

The one b1b posted is great too XD

I would have hired him. Seems safe and reasonable.

 

I was lol'ing IRL at the last one hahah. But the first one was my favourite .