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Depression/Anxiety

Lorenzo

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I am just going to start typing and see where my thoughts go. So I struggle with a lot of self esteem issues most of them honestly probably stemming from my child hood and the struggles that I had growing up. I have had depression and anxiety most of my life. Right now It seems to be greater then normal. I have a lot of what I like to call the what ifs. What if I just walked in front of a car. What if I just went to sleep and didn't wake up. Just to BE CLEAR I am not suicidal at all they are just brief thoughts that occasionally happen and they go away and I move on. I am sure that some of it has to do with COVID and not being able to go anywhere and honestly I probably shouldn't be venting on an online forum but that's just how I am feeling it's like a weight of bricks that are laying on my back and I can't seem to get rid of them.
 
I feel that because I am the same. And I also feel worse during this period because I can't "escape" my thoughts and feelings by for example heading out to go play sports.
Stay strong man, hopefully its all over soon <3
 
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I am just going to start typing and see where my thoughts go. So I struggle with a lot of self esteem issues most of them honestly probably stemming from my child hood and the struggles that I had growing up. I have had depression and anxiety most of my life. Right now It seems to be greater then normal. I have a lot of what I like to call the what ifs. What if I just walked in front of a car. What if I just went to sleep and didn't wake up. Just to BE CLEAR I am not suicidal at all they are just brief thoughts that occasionally happen and they go away and I move on. I am sure that some of it has to do with COVID and not being able to go anywhere and honestly I probably shouldn't be venting on an online forum but that's just how I am feeling it's like a weight of bricks that are laying on my back and I can't seem to get rid of them.
Well the best way to "cure" depression and anxiety is from therapy and possibly medication. So as you can't see a therapist this is actually a good source for you, don't diss yourself for using it. There are a lot of people on here who also have depression and anxiety, myself being one of them. I struggled with it a lot and I used to have a lot of trouble processing my emotions which led to a lot of depression and it ended up making me fail 2 semesters of college... I'm about 4 years past that now though. I've self-taught myself how to properly process my emotions, and how to not linger on them and let them take over my mind. I think the best true advice I can give is learn to be very self-aware of your emotions and surroundings. That way you can find out what triggers your anxiety and depression and avoid them at all costs. I'm certain there are some occurrences that are unavoidable and I have a few of them too but ya. If you want to talk further about it feel free to post back on here or add my discord in my sig. I think it's really important to be able to realize what is going on in your head and not blame 100% of it on having a mental disorder. Try to learn what makes it happen and help yourself through it.
 
@Bryan does medication actually help you? Medication makes me feel worse. In February, the hospital recommended me to take trazodone & efexor, which my psychologist deemed completely unnecessary, but I took them anyway. I gained 16 kilos in 3 weeks and was never unhappier.

Either way my biggest problem is lack of a sleeping schedule. And the anxiety grows and shrinks with it
 
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@Bryan does medication actually help you? Medication makes me feel worse. In February, the hospital recommended me to take trazodone & efexor, which my psychologist deemed completely unnecessary, but I took them anyway. I gained 16 kilos in 3 weeks and was never unhappier.

Either way my biggest problem is lack of a sleeping schedule. And the anxiety grows and shrinks with it
I was prescribed Lexapro when I was 17 or 18, and I took 1 pill of it and never took it again. I have a strong belief that self-realization and therapy (if necessary) can cure most cases. A lot of people just don't know how to see the issues they have so they can't actually pin down the problems that make them depressed or anxious. I took the time to learn what was good and bad for me and I live a pretty decent life now, besides a rare depressed day, but I think that can happen to anyone even those without depression.
 
If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m online most of the day and always love a great talk.
 
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I appreciate the support. I find myself just wanting to be alone. I am doing my best to keep the social attitude. But if I had it the way I wanted I would be in the middle of nowhere with my music and that's it to be honest.
 
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I found myself in a similar situation but I had no organization to life my life.

As soon I got my self a new routine I started to feel better.
 
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It’s funny how everyone always is able to relate to someone’s situation yet their situations are or were so extremely different. Obviously you’re not alone with the struggle but that won’t help you through it.

I find it hard giving you advice if you are seeking one. For me it does help to talk about it with family or professionals, but perhaps something totally different helps you. Hopefully it helps you a bit writing it down here.
@Bryan does medication actually help you? Medication makes me feel worse. In February, the hospital recommended me to take trazodone & efexor, which my psychologist deemed completely unnecessary, but I took them anyway. I gained 16 kilos in 3 weeks and was never unhappier.

Either way my biggest problem is lack of a sleeping schedule. And the anxiety grows and shrinks with it
Medication doesn’t really help much for depression. It does help for anxiety though, but it’s just a pain in the ass to find the right medicine. I’ve had like 2 of them now and both have different side effects.

As for sleeping schedule I can confirm this also matters to me.
 
It’s funny how everyone always is able to relate to someone’s situation yet their situations are or were so extremely different. Obviously you’re not alone with the struggle but that won’t help you through it.

I find it hard giving you advice if you are seeking one. For me it does help to talk about it with family or professionals, but perhaps something totally different helps you. Hopefully it helps you a bit writing it down here.

Medication doesn’t really help much for depression. It does help for anxiety though, but it’s just a pain in the ass to find the right medicine. I’ve had like 2 of them now and both have different side effects.

As for sleeping schedule I can confirm this also matters to me.

See this is a weird one. My depression was actually VERY severe but since I've been on medication, it's been a lot better (for reference; I take Escitalopram 20mg a day).

It's helped my anxiety mostly, though. I can definitely attest to anti-depressants being better for anxiety, I'm living proof of that. I used to have paranoia-level anxiety and it's mostly calm now.


As for you, Lorenzo, I definitely recommend seeking something out when the pandemic's over or at least when restrictions are eased. Here in Canada (minus Quebec, fuckin frenchies smh...) we're already in Phase 2 reopening and we're projected to hit Phase 3 in a few weeks or so. So it'd be prime time now for example to try to set something up tbh.

I definitely understand what it's like. I've had depression and anxiety from a young age, and what is assumed to be BPD (I'm still waiting on appts and diagnoses and it's been 8 years since I first called in, lol) from abuse, and school made it no better. I know what it's like to feel like this.

You're not alone bud. <: If there's something specific you wanna ask about maybe I can help.
 
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