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Depressed as fuck, now what?

Robzombie179

"Don't hate the playa, hate the game"

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Aight, so me an my lady have been dating since January 12th, 2009. We started getting sexually active and she got pregnant. She is about 3 months pregnant, and we were madly in love, so I moved in with her and her parents. I had lived there for about 3-4 months. About a week ago my lady kicked me out cuz we had been getting in arguments constantly, and it was putting too much stress on both of us, then last night she's like, "Hey can we stop dating for a while? I don't want to break up but I think we need to stop dating. At least for now." And I'm like "ummm wth? you have OUR kid... as much as i don't want to, if you think it's for the best, then i guess so." I still love her, and always will, but I dunno, I jus feel like shit. Anyone have some advice to get my mind off this until we are dating again? Would be much appreciated. Thanks.
 
If shes pregnant. DONT PISS HER OFF.
 
Perhaps taking steps to de-stress yourself would be a good place to start. Try things like Yoga or picking up a hobby that you enjoy. I also would say that couples counseling sounds like a necessity if you are having problems in your relationship. I've always found that a professional, third party opinion is sometimes better to have. In all honesty, she should not have a problem with counseling, because after all, she is carrying your child. If she does though, then seeing a counselor on your own and talking about those issues could help you find a viable solution to the current issues.

In short, I think it's necessary to get your mind of the subject to some extent, but it's bad to act like it's not there at all. You should be proactive in finding a solution, not hiding away to find out if she still wants to date later on.

Hope that helps and good luck. :)
 
When I'm having a rough time with life I generally like to get out and exercise. It's a good way to relax. I think the most important thing in your situation is to try to see things from her perspective and have a long talk with her about your priorities and about the child.

Yeah, I walk basically EVERYWHERE I go, soz I get some exercise. And I've tried talking to her but it doesn't work. For Example, today[6/10/2009] we went to go find out the gender of our baby and I got there a bit earlier, and she walked in with 2 friends (there's only 2 people allowed in the visiting room at once) which I was ok with, but they ALL walked past me like I wasn't there, or like I didn't even exist. I asked her if I could go in the appointment and have one of her friends stay out, she said 'ok', and we're sitting in the room waiting for the doctor, and she was having a conversation with her friend, and when I'd say something, or try to start a conversation she would ignore me, or act like I never said anything.
So I was like 'Fuck this.' and left. It hurt so bad, that she wouldn't even notice my existence. I texted her to at least tell me the gender when she found out. And I'm gonna be having a daughter.

But yeah, this shit sucks so bad. And tbh, I have been smoking more as well as cutting to relieve stress.

Also, sick name. Dragula rocks.

Thanks, I love that song too.


EDIT: I posted a bulletin on myspace about this shit too, and here's what one of my friends said which is some GREAT advice. It's hella long so I wouldn't reccomend reading the whole thing...

she is very testy, as is all women when they are prego.
you have an extremely extremely young relationship, and getting pregnant so early on- to be honest- cut the chances of a long relationship in HALF!
moving in was not a good idea, not so quickly.
she is still getting used to the idea of being pregnant, she has to worry about whats in her belly.
(changing her living situation)
you moving in right after it, with someone she has not been with for a long time, is yet another think that changed her living situation.
everyone does their best to get used to their living situations.
sudden permenant situations occuring one after another, she feels like she is not in control. and if you dont have control, you feel powerless and your esteem goes down. so she felt like she needed to take charge for herself.
she will probably come back to you, after all you are the babys father. she just needs her space, she has tons to think about, and tons of things to be upset about now as is. but on the same hand you do to, this time apart career focusing, college etc; should take place so you can figure how to support this child on a LONG TERM basis. still call her or text her, at least once a day. or everyother day, be sweet on the phone. dont sit there and contemplate suicide because then that will stress her out even more, she will feel guilty and STRESS IS THE #1 REASON FOR MISCARRIAGES. so be happy for the situation, dont think of it as a permenant thing because sometime soon she is going to think "wow this is going to be hard to go through all by myself".. keep yourself open dont sit there and want her to feel sorry for you. you gotta be there for her, she wants a strong someone independent guy that can take care of her.
if i were you i would be extremely supportive and be happy that you have your OWN CHILD, YOUR OWN! on its way. and its life's best gift. instead of pounding into her head about getting back together, work on your friendship. ask her about her day, her parents or what outfit she is wearing for her next special occasion ( girls like that!). and then tell her some things about your day etc;. tell her a small child hood memory, n let her tell u one. but try to stay on the positive because you dont wanna get stressed because then she will get stressed, AND vice versa. sense you guys have a baby coming, your both on heightened stress levels. but when that baby finalls comes out and stares you in the eyes its the best feeling in the world. if i were you, id consider putting away a savings bank acct; a second job- (if u have a first one) and just doing things that she would consider responsible. things that she will beable to tell that you are working hard for her and your baby. this will give her a second reason to be happier with you. plus these things will kinda keep you busy to keep your mind off of negativity and sad stuff. have confidence. dont smother her, because that will just push her away even farther. and dont ask her in two weeks if u guys are back together or not, she will say it or bring it up on her own. also possibly look around for area' apartments, and after your friendship gets better bring it up to her. n tell her u have looked into it. dont move until you both have jobs and are financially stable. also try your best to get her parents to help out, say small things like "hey if we ever need a bag of diapers or a few extra dollars, would u guys beable to help us out?". you also need to be on their goodside too, because you have to remember if u piss them off... she lives with them.. she is gunna hear their opinion all the time. so if they r mad at something u did, then she might just chain reaction and feel the same way they do. volunteer to do yard work or something nice for them. then fifthly take her out on random dates even if its just to mcd's, or if she gets a weird food craving, run out at 11pm to get it. it means alot to us when guys go out of their way to do something sweet.i say within the final months or weeks of the pregnancy, you should start i guess " spending the night in hopes to feel the baby kick or in hopes the baby comes". this way, you, her and her parents will get used to you being there SOME TIMES n not all day every second of the day. so everyone can get used to it slowly, and not just like BLLLAAAMMM, everything changed! it may not be a good idea to fully move in before the baby. because that means room will have to be made for your stuff AND the babies stuff. maybe even moving to an apartment within the first few months of your babies life will do good.
so basically
1) SPACE- each of you deserve it and need it, but still show you care. itll be your last time for the next 18 years that you'll beable to have it to YOURSELF.
2)FRIENDSHIP- your girlfriend will always be your bestfriend, so make sure you guys have at least 3 happy conversations in one day.
3) RESPONSIBILITY- yeah no one wants to do it, but itll help her know that your serious, and that you want to be back with her and that you want to be the father.
4)SUPPORT- give her support and ask for support from the parents, but you have to show them responsibility too or they wont trust you with alot.
5)DATES- you need to have them to get to bond and chat more often when no one else is around.
6)SLOWLY- slowly make your pressense known and let them all know that you are not going to miss this, even if the world blows up.

be strong and know that she cares about you, alot. she just cant handle that level of stress, she needs less of it and more happiness. she will view you as selfish if you stay suicidal, and that will break her heart more than anything, and thats the last thing you want because once you break our hearts, we women will do the grimmiest things ever. and sense she is a mother to be, she will get even more pissed. trust me, lol.

but for the time being, keep yourself busy with positive and productive tasks and think about the next sweet thing your going to do. apologize on stupid arguments, sometimes like "were is the remote, U had it last!" even if your right. make yourself feel good by doing the best that you can, and at the end of the day tell yourself," ykno what for my situation im doing pretty damn good! and i feel good about it!"
 
I know it sounds retarded, but classes you can take together are great for bonding. Yoga, parenting, stress relief, look up some couples classes for things in your area.
 
I know it sounds retarded, but classes you can take together are great for bonding. Yoga, parenting, stress relief, look up some couples classes for things in your area.

I doubt we'll ever be back together by the looks of it.

Use Condoms.

A little late for that...
 
two things play runescape smoke weed...enough said.

How about weed and Guid Wars? It helps, but the pain is still there afterwards...

start working out, best thing to get your mind off things and it'll help you sleep

Thanks, Been trying it, and I've been sleeping a little better, but not by a whole lot.
 
Dude i feel really bad for you but whatever you do just be their for the baby even if your having problems with your girl.


i suggest haveing sex with another girl to get ur mind off of the other girl :)
 
This girl is the immature one from the sound of it. Not wanting to start dating, when she's having a fucking kid with you? She's fucking retarded. Just start ignoring her and she'll realize she needs you in her life. Trust me. Girls love hard to get.
 
Perhaps taking steps to de-stress yourself would be a good place to start. Try things like Yoga or picking up a hobby that you enjoy. I also would say that couples counseling sounds like a necessity if you are having problems in your relationship. I've always found that a professional, third party opinion is sometimes better to have. In all honesty, she should not have a problem with counseling, because after all, she is carrying your child. If she does though, then seeing a counselor on your own and talking about those issues could help you find a viable solution to the current issues.

In short, I think it's necessary to get your mind of the subject to some extent, but it's bad to act like it's not there at all. You should be proactive in finding a solution, not hiding away to find out if she still wants to date later on.

Hope that helps and good luck. :)

Second that :)

Yeah just like take time away from her give her time to think about this stuff, then when its closer to the birth date, come, help out, take her to doctor visits [if you can drive] but untill then just rest talk on the phone. . .etc :)

Good Luck bro :)
 
LOL rune LOLOL.
 
i know people say this a lot, but go jog a few miles, it seriously makes you feel really good.
if you play an instrument, go play some music, if you don't, go learn one, i don't know why but it takes your mind off everything.
 
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