Changing for relationships

[xOneDown]

Hello!

I was curious to find out what you guys thought of people changing otherwise concrete actions/habits for a relationship. I will give an example, but please keep in mind it's not limited to this situation.

(by the way, these names are made up)

Joe and Brenda have been dating for a year. Brenda always hated that Joe smokes weed, but it doesn't have a negative effect on his work or social life. Do you think it's fair for Brenda to force Joe into changing? Do you think Joe should change?

I've heard a lot of people say things like "Don't change who you are for a girl." That being said, does/can a habit constitute who you are as a person?

I personally think that in certain cases, it's okay not to change. Me personally? I would definitely change something like that if it meant being with somebody I really loved and wanted to be with for a long time.

Please discuss

 

[JstarD]

It really depends on the extent of the action/habit.
My girlfriend openly smokes. Never around me though. I dislike very much that she smokes, and have advised her to stop as personally I would like her to. However, if she says no and that she doesn't want to, this will not limit our relationship or halt it. So personally, I think that if, for example, Brenda asked Joe to stop, then it his completely his choice whether to stop or not. As you say, "don't change for a girl" unless you want to

 

[123allan123]

I think u guys need to make a deal. That both ways are good.
Also I think if it's ur true love, then better change. Or go to another way,
get ur girlfriend addicted to smoking weed to, and smoke then weed together.

 

[xOneDown]

Lol it didn't happen to me or anything, I just hear it brought up pretty often. Just wanted to hear some opinions