Best friend is about to die

So I'm going to try to keep this short. But I'm fucking going through it right now, my childhood best friend is in the hospital right now with a heart infection going into open heart surgery in a couple hrs. Me an him grew up and starting doing drugs at 12 and were 21 now, I recently got clean from the harder stuff but he was still struggling and always went a lot harder than I did. So the meth/heroin use from such a young age just took a toll on his heart and now he's got a 20% of living.

We'll yesterday he was going to go to rehab, perfectly fine as far as I knew. And today he's on his deathbed, out of nowhere. And I don't know, I just don't know how to handle this right now. I don't know who to talk to. I found out he was in the hospital at like 2pm but didn't know how bad it was until like 8, so My friend drove his girlfriend and I 2 hours away to come see him in the middle of the night. Now it's 3am and my buddy and I are in the car outside the hospital while him and his girl have their alone time.

To make things worse, I've been super stoned all day which is like preventing it from fully hitting me that I'm about to lose one of my best friends, who my childhood memories are based on, that one friend you call at 3am when you just need to fucking talk to someone. And I don't know if I can accept it until it actually happens. I keep smoking more to keep the reality of all this at a distance. I know that's fucked up but I just quit heroin like a month ago, the first month clean that I've had in years and now this shit. I don't know it's just a lot at once and getting high is the only way I know how cope with this kind of stuff.

The doctor was fucked up too, she came in to talk to him and pretty much asked him if he would rather just pull the plug and not do the surgery. I don't know if that's normal, but that's when it first hit me how serious it all was. And I've never been in this situation with anyone, let alone one of my closest friend. I don't know what to say to him, like do I bullshit him with that "you're gunna be ok I promise" spiel, or do I be straight up. I just need to talk to someone about this but I don't feel comfortable talking with the friend I'm with.

My friend starts surgery in 6 hours so keep Jesse in your prayers. Thank you.

 

I think you should just tell him straight up how you feel.
I will keep him in my prayers, thats a promise.

 

Just stay strong for his sake, nobody elses. If you stay supportive no matter what the outcome is, it'll be appreciated by many not only just him.

I'll be sure to keep checking on how he is, if you ever need someone to talk to outside of your life then drop me a PM.

 

Stay strong, friends dying is always a hard thing. Keep your hopes up and tell him he'll be alright - I'm sure it's been 6 hours since you posted this, not sure... But at any rate, I hope he's well.

 

I am extremely sorry for this tragedy. I really hope your friend makes it, Godspeed.

 

The doctors question was standard procedure, they will be real with you on your chances and if you wish not to go through with the surgery they will honor your wishes and allow you to spend whatever time left you have saying your goodbyes to family and friends. They did this with my grandfather who also had cancer, it was too late for surgery and he opted not to take any food. He had lived his life and simply wanted to pass on, he was a firm believer in God so he was ready to enter heaven.

To be honest, if I were you I'd stop doing drugs. You've seen first hand what happens in the long run, your friend is suffering now because of it. You should remain positive around your mate, I know it's corny to say everything is going to be alright but it's better than telling him shit has got real and he's straight up going to die. If I were him I'd rather people talked to me as if nothing was wrong (although I know I'm going to die), I'd like to just have a normal conversation that doesn't include my situation. It'd help chill me out for what's to come.

I sorry to hear about your friend, it can't be easy for him and anyone else around him.

 

He went into surgery at 8am and is just about to end. We weren't aloud to see him only family could but they said he was Alive but being incubated for the next day or 2 days and probably wouldn't even be conscious to talk to. They also said that it turns out one of the heart valves he needed replaced they were able to clean the infection out of so that he only had to get one replaced for now. Now he's just got a lot of recovery to go through.

Thank you guys for your support. I think it's really awesome that this website has a section for this that people actually use. Please still continue to pray for my buddy while he's in recovery.

 

Thats good news! Stay with him, your friend is going to need you during this rough time. We're all happy for you, his family and his (girl)/friend(s)

 

I'm glad there's a positive outcome for all of this.

I hope he continues to recover and you're able to be as supportive as we have been towards you.

 

Good to here!

You should use the opportunity to convince him to get clean so nothing similar will happen in the future.

 

Keep us up to date on his recovery.

I'm not sure about medical terminology but it sounds like the outcome is better than expected, so I hope things continue along that path. I wish you and him the best.

 

Again it is all about perception, The world mourns and puts bad vibes on the word or topic of "Death" but really its a new beginning for you friend and just know in the long run everything will work its self out for the best and stressing the situation will only make it worse. All about positive vibes and energy even though its harder said than done I know. I hope the best of luck with your situation though!

 

Thanks for the update, it's good to hear that the surgery went ahead and concluded better than expected. We'll continue to pray for his steady recovery. My best wishes for his recovery!

 

Wow man i felt bad for him and all his friends, family. He will get better ! Be Strong.

 

I have no idea what to say here. I've never been in such situation before either, but please, keep your head up and don't stress out too much - which I know is very likely to do.

 

Think positive man, he's going to make it.

 

Wow thats a miracle !! Good for him !!

 

Awesome to hear man!

 

He is awake and doing well for the situation at hand. I expect to be going down to visit him soon. He posted pictures of his chest and it looks gnarly. A giant incision going down the middle. Still praying for him!

 

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

I read this and I literally started crying as I kept on reading. I didn't realize that this was 5 days ago and I am so relieved that your friend made it!

I am a very empathetic person so reading these sorts of things is never easy for me. I am really sorry that this happened to your friend, and that you have to go through the risk of losing him, it must be really hard on you. Thank you for being strong for your friend, and for praying for him. I will too, from now on!

I hope that this experience brings nothing but a lesson that making bad choices in life can turn really bad, really fast, and that he has awoken to see the true reality.

Best of luck to you and your friend, my prayers are with you, now and forever.