Many thanks for your help guys, I will take the advice on board!
I also think so much, I think that if I don't become a successful Chartered Accountant (which is what I hope to become), or something successful related with business my life will end and nobody will like me, like my parents will be disappointed in me.
I try really hard with my with my dad, but he simply doesn't care and ignores me a lot (no I'm not adopted). It feels that everywhere I turn in life, it's a dead end and sometimes I wish that I got a disease and that I would just die, I feel that my existence is worthless, and simply nobody really gives a fuck.
Your problems sound chiefly psychological. The best thing you could do for yourself is see a therapist. The issues you have (self-esteem in particular) all have psychological root causes, all of which are 100% curable. There is no reason you should continue to suffer because of abuse done to you as a child.
(And for the love of god don't join a sports team as someone else suggested. This will not help you one iota.)
Are you kidding me? read above as to what I stated after when I said "Join Sports."
joining sports will honestly solves all the problems he stated above.
No, they will just promote the false-self and cement the trauma further.
The type of people you meet in sports-culture are not generally well-balanced psychologically (unless its purely a social and mostly non-competitive sport).
What essentially happens is the weak ego ties itself to the group identity, promoting the false-self and imprisoning the true-self further. I would not advise anyone with psychological problems join a sports team unless they first see a therapist who recommends it.

