alright im usually an independent person and i hate to ask for help but i feel this is my last resort. I think i can ask advice from this intelligent group of people.
Recently my grandmother died. Let me explain my relationship with my grandmother. I lived with my grandmother from a young age because my mother was unable to care for me, my grandmother educated me and taught me how the world works. My grandmother has always done everything she could to make sure im happy and that i become a successful(sp?) man. These were the early years.
more recently talking like in the last couple of years (before she passed) i would visit my grandmothers house in the next city over. My grandmother would always make breakfast for the whole family. WE would all wake up to "breakfast is ready". My grandmother was very intelligent and her main focus was family. She held the family together, and made sure we never forgot eachothers faces, even if that meant an annual trip to Alabama.
No one will ever know how much my grandmother meant to me. I have been breaking down lately. My gandmother passed on april 12th 2008 and im still mourning her death to this day. i still cry when I'm alone. I broke up with my girlfirend because i can no longer feel love the same way anymore. I quit my job because i can't handle that when im there im constantly thinking of my grandmother.
I loved my grandmother more than my own mother at most times. I've never lost anyone before but i dont know what to do. I feel like i've lost a very important part of myself that i need to go on and be successful.
the thign is she died in her sleep and it was at her house and it was the most shocking thing thats ever happened to me.
She was in good health and she looked 20 years younger than her age. Here one day gone the next adn i wasnt even able to say goodbye...
please take this seriously because i am in serious need of help. im 16 years old but im not looking forward to life anymore.
btw: im not into religion so please none of that ask god or god will guide you stuff please.
-TPH