Girl Problems >.<

[Unregistered]

Alright so a while back (~3 months ago) I was talking to this girl at my school a lot, and we hung out after school a few times. I'm 17, a junior in high school (grade 11), and I've never had a girlfriend so I'm really inexperienced with all of that stuff; sad, I know. Anyways, about two months ago we sort of stopped talking because I stopped texting her, and she never texted me or messaged me on Facebook or anything, but whenever I would see her in school she'd still say hi to me (though conversation was usually something like "Hi" and then "Hi"). Recently, probably within the last month, she blocked me on Facebook, but she still says hi to me when we see each other in school (we have no classes together, but in the halls).

Over the past ~1.5 months that I haven't been talking to her, I've literally gone mad. I have no idea why, but every day I think about her when I wake up, before I go to bed, and a thousand other times during the day, and even though I guess I should be taking the hint that she never wants to talk to me again, I'm thoroughly confused by the fact that she will still talk to me at school, and I can't help but think that there is still hope for something to happen, even though I know logically that everything is opposed to that.

Sorry for the long background story, but her birthday is in like 2 months, and I don't know if I should get her a present (I was looking at some earrings or something), and write her some long, eloquent letter about how I'm sorry that I haven't talked to her or whatever, or just ditch the entire idea and try to move on. Any help would be appreciated, as I'm not going anywhere in the decision making process alone... -.-

 

[Bill Nye]

Alright so a while back (~3 months ago) I was talking to this girl at my school a lot, and we hung out after school a few times. I'm 17, a junior in high school (grade 11), and I've never had a girlfriend so I'm really inexperienced with all of that stuff; sad, I know. Anyways, about two months ago we sort of stopped talking because I stopped texting her, and she never texted me or messaged me on Facebook or anything, but whenever I would see her in school she'd still say hi to me (though conversation was usually something like "Hi" and then "Hi"). Recently, probably within the last month, she blocked me on Facebook, but she still says hi to me when we see each other in school (we have no classes together, but in the halls).

Over the past ~1.5 months that I haven't been talking to her, I've literally gone mad. I have no idea why, but every day I think about her when I wake up, before I go to bed, and a thousand other times during the day, and even though I guess I should be taking the hint that she never wants to talk to me again, I'm thoroughly confused by the fact that she will still talk to me at school, and I can't help but think that there is still hope for something to happen, even though I know logically that everything is opposed to that.

Sorry for the long background story, but her birthday is in like 2 months, and I don't know if I should get her a present (I was looking at some earrings or something), and write her some long, eloquent letter about how I'm sorry that I haven't talked to her or whatever, or just ditch the entire idea and try to move on. Any help would be appreciated, as I'm not going anywhere in the decision making process alone... -.-

So from reading this, I can relate to this actually, and I'll tell you what you should do as what I did worked for me.

So from reading this, I inferred that you two still talk in the hallways as in maybe a simple 'hi' once a day or even once a week at most.. That's already a good start..

Now here's the hard part.. she blocked you on facebook because you guys had something. For starters, girls love it when you talk to them every day but what you guys had was special. Now by talking I assume over facebook or cell when you guys aren't in school. So if it's facebook and you're blocked, then ignore the next sentence. If it's over cell, then you're not screwed at all. Simply send her a long elaborate text about how you feel.. how it's driving you crazy.. etc.. now I know you don't want to embarass yourself or anything like that, and if she is a quiet type girl no one will know. If she is the sort with a bunch of friends, then yeah she will probably tell them that, but then they may say "that's a little creepy" but deep down that's really sweet and they all wish they had a guy say that.. trust me on that.. Now if you do do it by cell, do it on a Friday night or a Saturday.. that way, you don't have to see her at school the next day, and you can let it sink in..

Now if you don't have her cell, and it's going to be in person.. trap her in the hallway and say "Hey I really have something to tell you. it's been bothering me for quite a while, and I need to get it off my chest".. that way not only is she curious, but she'll also be thinking.. AND MAKE SURE SHE'S ALONE.

Now if you can't get her trapped in the hallway, tell her to meet you after school (that's what I recommend), that way it not only gets her thinking, but it gives you time to think too.. She'll be thinking of all the possible things you can say to her, and you'll probably be thinking of how to phrase what you want to say.

When you see her in person, just basically tell her "Hey look I'm sorry I ever stopped talking to you, and it's really killing me inside.. You see I have feelings for you, and i really needed to get this off my chest" Or something similar to that..

She'll react of course, but it'll be good if you guys talked as much as you said you did..

Now her response can range from anything like "Wow anon I never knew" or "I did too"..

Now if you still are wondering how she'll react, there is nothing to lose literally.. she blocked you on facebook because you quit talking to her.. it's so obvious that she liked and probably does still like you and when you quit talking she felt like you had thrown her away..

As far as the present thing goes, do it. I highly recommend earrings because you'll be able to see if she's actually wearing them.. If she is, then continue talking more and more to her, and ask her to hang out or go to the movies.. If you see that she doesn't wear them, it means she either doesn't like them or she doesn't want a memory of you because you hurt her when you quit talking

Now go get em tiger and remember YOLO.
-BN

 

[Apith]

So if you had feelings for her, what made you stop texting her? Also shortly before you both stopping texting, did you ever hang out and/or talk in person? What stopped you both from hanging out again? Didn't have a good time? Didn't realize you liked her?

Sounds like you only knew her for a month if not longer, you pointed out it was ~3 months ago when you both started hanging out and talking a lot. Earrings are pushing it, reconsider the gift if you decide to buy her one by then. There is this feeling from both giver and receiver. The giver would usually look for the receiver to be using the gift, if not they'd feel bad (Maybe they didn't like it). The receiver would now be stuck between not wearing it and making you feel bad (intentionally or not), or wearing it even if she doesn't want it. There's always the chance they like it, but coming from just a friend who you don't really talk to, even if she liked it, I'd try to mend the relationship before giving her such a gift. Gifts like that could get her friends where she got it from, or who gave it to her. For someone that doesn't talk to her much anymore, she might not want to give the honest answer because of the conversation(s) it would stir up.

Simply send her a long elaborate text about how you feel.. how it's driving you crazy.. etc..

If you're going to tell someone how you feel, at least call her. It would just look creepy and out of the blue if someone you haven't hung out with or talked with for months tells you that they have feelings by text. I'd try to mend the relationship by starting a conversation when she says "Hi". How come you've never done that? Not enough time in the halls? Even just ask to hang out for old time's sake.

Girls like it when you can tell her that you like her in front of her friends. If she likes you, she will stand up for you if they make fun of either of you. It helps with her confidence when a guy admits they like her in front of their peers. I'm also saying that trapping her in the hallway is weird, creepy and anyone could see it. If you want to tell her in person, but are embarrassed of doing it in front of people, when she says "Hi" talk to her and ask to hang out or something again, that would give you a better opportunity.

When you see her in person, just basically tell her "Hey look I'm sorry I ever stopped talking to you, and it's really killing me inside.. You see I have feelings for you, and i really needed to get this off my chest"

That's a big leap. Hold back on it for now, it won't kill you to.

 

[Unregistered]

So from reading this, I can relate to this actually, and I'll tell you what you should do as what I did worked for me.

So from reading this, I inferred that you two still talk in the hallways as in maybe a simple 'hi' once a day or even once a week at most.. That's already a good start..

Now here's the hard part.. she blocked you on facebook because you guys had something. For starters, girls love it when you talk to them every day but what you guys had was special. Now by talking I assume over facebook or cell when you guys aren't in school. So if it's facebook and you're blocked, then ignore the next sentence. If it's over cell, then you're not screwed at all. Simply send her a long elaborate text about how you feel.. how it's driving you crazy.. etc.. now I know you don't want to embarass yourself or anything like that, and if she is a quiet type girl no one will know. If she is the sort with a bunch of friends, then yeah she will probably tell them that, but then they may say "that's a little creepy" but deep down that's really sweet and they all wish they had a guy say that.. trust me on that.. Now if you do do it by cell, do it on a Friday night or a Saturday.. that way, you don't have to see her at school the next day, and you can let it sink in..

Now if you don't have her cell, and it's going to be in person.. trap her in the hallway and say "Hey I really have something to tell you. it's been bothering me for quite a while, and I need to get it off my chest".. that way not only is she curious, but she'll also be thinking.. AND MAKE SURE SHE'S ALONE.

Now if you can't get her trapped in the hallway, tell her to meet you after school (that's what I recommend), that way it not only gets her thinking, but it gives you time to think too.. She'll be thinking of all the possible things you can say to her, and you'll probably be thinking of how to phrase what you want to say.

When you see her in person, just basically tell her "Hey look I'm sorry I ever stopped talking to you, and it's really killing me inside.. You see I have feelings for you, and i really needed to get this off my chest" Or something similar to that..

She'll react of course, but it'll be good if you guys talked as much as you said you did..

Now her response can range from anything like "Wow anon I never knew" or "I did too"..

Now if you still are wondering how she'll react, there is nothing to lose literally.. she blocked you on facebook because you quit talking to her.. it's so obvious that she liked and probably does still like you and when you quit talking she felt like you had thrown her away..

As far as the present thing goes, do it. I highly recommend earrings because you'll be able to see if she's actually wearing them.. If she is, then continue talking more and more to her, and ask her to hang out or go to the movies.. If you see that she doesn't wear them, it means she either doesn't like them or she doesn't want a memory of you because you hurt her when you quit talking

Now go get em tiger and remember YOLO.
-BN

The thing is, I was going to buy her earrings for her birthday, which is in June, because I thought it would be odd and it might make her feel odd to just have earrings randomly show up out of the blue. If it was her birthday at least I would have an excuse :/

So if you had feelings for her, what made you stop texting her? Also shortly before you both stopping texting, did you ever hang out and/or talk in person? What stopped you both from hanging out again? Didn't have a good time? Didn't realize you liked her?

I stopped texting her because (when we were texting/Facebooking a lot) I always felt like I had to have a reason to start a conversation, you know? And if I didn't text her first, like in the morning etc. to get the conversation started, we basically just wouldn't talk that day, unless we were on Facebook. She would never text me first, but she'd talk to me on Facebook (something I never understood, not that it made me mad or even annoyed me tbh). So basically after a few days of not texting her, I started to get doubts like "she would have texted me if she wanted to talk" then days turn to weeks, weeks to months, and here I am, thinking that if I just randomly text her (since we don't have classes together or anything) it would seem really strange and out of the blue >.<

Sounds like you only knew her for a month if not longer, you pointed out it was ~3 months ago when you both started hanging out and talking a lot. Earrings are pushing it, reconsider the gift if you decide to buy her one by then. There is this feeling from both giver and receiver. The giver would usually look for the receiver to be using the gift, if not they'd feel bad (Maybe they didn't like it). The receiver would now be stuck between not wearing it and making you feel bad (intentionally or not), or wearing it even if she doesn't want it. There's always the chance they like it, but coming from just a friend who you don't really talk to, even if she liked it, I'd try to mend the relationship before giving her such a gift. Gifts like that could get her friends where she got it from, or who gave it to her. For someone that doesn't talk to her much anymore, she might not want to give the honest answer because of the conversation(s) it would stir up.

That's what I was afraid of... I didn't want to get her something and make her feel pressured to wear it because she knew it was from me, so I thought about getting them sent to her anonymously or something. I'm not really sure what to do on that :/

If you're going to tell someone how you feel, at least call her. It would just look creepy and out of the blue if someone you haven't hung out with or talked with for months tells you that they have feelings by text. I'd try to mend the relationship by starting a conversation when she says "Hi". How come you've never done that? Not enough time in the halls? Even just ask to hang out for old time's sake.

Basically in person I'm really awkward when I like the girl, so I was thinking a letter or something because when I have time to think and write I can make something much more eloquent. I'm not very good at that in person stuff, although I do try, I seem like a serious flatliner in person when I'm not really comfortable. And usually I don't stop and talk to her in the halls because I'm hanging out with my friends and it's sort of like stuck between a rock and a hard place, because they don't know her and my friends are like me so they get super awkward around girls and then it's a group of awkward guys and the air is just so filled with awkward... Yeah not the easiest thing to do.

Girls like it when you can tell her that you like her in front of her friends. If she likes you, she will stand up for you if they make fun of either of you. It helps with her confidence when a guy admits they like her in front of their peers. I'm also saying that trapping her in the hallway is weird, creepy and anyone could see it. If you want to tell her in person, but are embarrassed of doing it in front of people, when she says "Hi" talk to her and ask to hang out or something again, that would give you a better opportunity.

That's a big leap. Hold back on it for now, it won't kill you to.

Yeah... See above >.<

 

[mynameisjoe]

I'm also in a somewhat similar situation.

The best way to approach this is to try to talk to her in person. Turn your "hi"s into longer conversations. Think about things to talk about beforehand, ask her questions, etc.

If you can comfortably talk to her for longer periods of time, and you feel like you have a chance with her, then you can express your feelings.

Pass on the earrings for now, you don't want to jump in with a gift too fast, I'd say get to know her better first.

That's my advice, my personal experience ended up different. I realized that what I wanted wasn't going to work out, and despite that fact that I wanted it so badly, I decided to move on. I'm currently working on forgetting about my previous attraction to her; it's going very well. There's no problem with moving on, believe me. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders when I stopped thinking about her, and stopped trying so hard to talk to her.

Good luck!

 

[Unregistered]

So if you had feelings for her, what made you stop texting her? Also shortly before you both stopping texting, did you ever hang out and/or talk in person? What stopped you both from hanging out again? Didn't have a good time? Didn't realize you liked her?

Basically every day I would have to think of something to text her first, since (at the time) it seemed odd to just be like "hi" or whatever, and she would never text me first, so a few days turned into a week, into weeks, and into months, and after about a week I thought it'd be weird for me to randomly text her, and school had just started so we were both really busy etc. We stopped hanging out because we both got really busy and since we didn't have classes together she said she didn't have time to hang out since we couldn't do homework together.

Sounds like you only knew her for a month if not longer, you pointed out it was ~3 months ago when you both started hanging out and talking a lot. Earrings are pushing it, reconsider the gift if you decide to buy her one by then. There is this feeling from both giver and receiver. The giver would usually look for the receiver to be using the gift, if not they'd feel bad (Maybe they didn't like it). The receiver would now be stuck between not wearing it and making you feel bad (intentionally or not), or wearing it even if she doesn't want it. There's always the chance they like it, but coming from just a friend who you don't really talk to, even if she liked it, I'd try to mend the relationship before giving her such a gift. Gifts like that could get her friends where she got it from, or who gave it to her. For someone that doesn't talk to her much anymore, she might not want to give the honest answer because of the conversation(s) it would stir up.

Yeah I thought of that too, and I was thinking of doing it anonymously or something. I basically feel really bad that I just stopped talking to her and it just seemed like a good idea...

If you're going to tell someone how you feel, at least call her. It would just look creepy and out of the blue if someone you haven't hung out with or talked with for months tells you that they have feelings by text. I'd try to mend the relationship by starting a conversation when she says "Hi". How come you've never done that? Not enough time in the halls? Even just ask to hang out for old time's sake.

Girls like it when you can tell her that you like her in front of her friends. If she likes you, she will stand up for you if they make fun of either of you. It helps with her confidence when a guy admits they like her in front of their peers. I'm also saying that trapping her in the hallway is weird, creepy and anyone could see it. If you want to tell her in person, but are embarrassed of doing it in front of people, when she says "Hi" talk to her and ask to hang out or something again, that would give you a better opportunity.

The problem is that in-person I get nervous with girls I like so instead of being my normal self I get all self-conscious and basically turn into a complete flatliner/freeze. I was going to send her a letter with the earrings that basically apologized and explained the whole thing, because (like I said) I feel like I am in the wrong and I am much more eloquent when I can write something rather than being put on the spot in person when I'm already nervous. As for talking in the halls, I'm always talking with friends or something when she sees me, so she walks by and it's just a passing hello rather than a full on "hi come talk to me" type deal, since she doesn't know any of my friends.